Birthdays

Yesterday was hubby’s birthday.   He didn’t want to celebrate it.   And I get that.   It is hard to watch days go by and to age.

I am feeling the passing of time a lot now.  In just a couple of weeks I wlll see my younger daughter get married.   Both of our daughters are now through school, they work hard at what they do, they have found their life partners, and one has made me a Mimi!   I’m very proud of them!   I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome for them!

But, time has gone by and I am definitely in another age category.   I’m in my 60’s (which I still have a really hard time believing) and I don’t like the changes I see happening with my body.   I think I have kept myself together pretty well up to this point.  I was blessed with good genes and I have stayed active all my adult life.  I’m not a dedicated workout person – at all.  But, I have done well keeping my weight the same for decades.  I have colored my hair for a long time too.  I try to think young and dress appropriately but not dowdy.

It’s getting harder.

Recently I have noticed my waist thicker. My skin is dry and scaly, and loose.  I have not gained weight but everything just looks different.

Lines are on my face.   Even the use of photo filters can’t take them away.

Now when my hair roots start to show they are ALL grey!

Oh woe is me, right?

I know many of you reading this think I am just feeling sorry for myself.   Aging happens.  I know all the sayings:   Better than the alternative, and wrinkles are laugh lines, and  it’s what is inside that counts.     This is no place for vanity.  I have so much and how blessed I am in so many ways!    True true true.

I’m just saying aging is hard sometimes.

I’m not worried about the end of my life.  That’s not it.  I am secure on where my soul will go.  I am a follower of Jesus and I look forward to whatever heaven brings.

Til then, I want to be my best self.  I want to ‘keep it together’ and stay strong.   So, I don’t look in the mirror as much.  I lather on lotion.  I move…  enough to stay active but not enough to do damage. I pray every day that I don’t have an accident or need surgery.    I work every day on reminding myself to live my life.

Birthdays come around pretty quickly now.  My hubby’s yesterday was another reminder of that.   Don’t get me wrong:   I’m glad he had another birthday!  And, I want future birthdays for me…

but sometimes it’s just amazing how quickly  time goes by.     Sometimes it’s hard to age.