The struggle is real.

The struggle is real.

I have lost track of how many days (weeks) I have been self quarantining.   I decided awhile ago not to count the days because it would just make it seem longer and harder to stay positive.

Yesterday my hubby said to me ‘let’s jump in the car in the morning and drive up to our daughter’s and see the grandboys!”    Had we left at that moment I would have hopped in to the car and headed right there.  I miss seeing those little guys so much, and I am sad that I can’t help out my daughter and son-in-law as I like to do.

But, as I have said before:  I am a rules follower.   So, last night and especially first thing this morning, I struggled with the decision.   We have been self-distancing for so long now!  We have been doing  the right thing.    I know the odds that we are CorVid-19 positive are very, very slim.   I know we have been wearing masks and washing well.   We have been doing the right thing.  We feel fine.    My daughter and family have been doing the same.   So, what would be the harm?

But…

I have  the TV on this morning, and I am watching the doctors and nurses – exhausted, and telling people to stay at home.    The topper:  I just saw a story about a 3 year old boy, sick and in the hospital, hooked up with IV’s and other things… and it broke my heart.    I could not imagine having anything to do with putting my grandsons into that position.    I just can’t do it.

The struggle is real.

I am one Mimi having to make the decision.      I know there are thousands, millions perhaps, making the hard decisions too.  I wonder what will make it okay to feel safe to get together.  Will I wait for the governors of our states to say we can  get back together?     Will there come a day when I say ‘screw it’ and I’m going anyway?    How long til I get to that point?

I don’t know.

It’s frustrating for sure to see people out and about NOT wearing masks and seemingly going about their day as normal.   I have seen them.   They think it won’t happen to them.   They feel fine.      But, they are the ones who might be passing the virus around without knowing.   They could be asymptomatic and still spread it.

I have said from the beginning – we all must take it seriously, and we must listen to the medical officials and the scientists. We must work together to  beat this thing down.   It’s going to take time. And I knew from the beginning that people (including me) would get restless.     Now, I see some getting ‘fed up’ and going out and protesting, without proper coverings and without concern for others.

The struggle is real.

It won’t get easier.

But, I can’t wait to get back to seeing my kids and my grandkids, and to getting back to the music rehearsals, and playing in and seeing concerts, and getting back to church, and walking the beach, and doing all  the other things I used to do.    So, I struggle now…   and wait.      I do the right thing.