Writing it down.

After the experience on Facebook where I had over 100 comments on a single post, I have felt so conflicted.  Here’s the thing: I use this blog, and Facebook, as a place to express myself.   I am not a public figure.  I am not an elected political person.   I said long ago that I liked using social media to put down my opinions, and to tell my story.   I am an open book.  I have nothing to hide.  I like living that way.  I show my faults.    I like knowing that this website is for me – to pass along my thoughts on issues important to me.

I truly try to bring up concerns to further a conversation.   You all who have been reading my musings for a pretty good while now  know the particular issues I write about – and you therefore know who I am.  I’m fine with you knowing me.  The good and the bad.

I care about:

better gun control and ways to lessen our country’s love of them.  I want to end senseless killing by guns.

BLM – I finally get it.  I’m still learning but I realize that diluting the topic with “All Lives Matter” and “Blue Lives Matter” is painful to the black community. They are trying to get equality (which they have never had) and we just keep changing the conversation.   I feel really bad about it.

Attributes of the president of the United States.    I do not believe in just ‘results’ of the office. I want a leader that can show what is good in America: respect, honor, honesty, equality.

Our other elected leaders.   We have many wonderful ones but also many that just keep getting re-elected til that’s all they know.   I worry about our voting system too.  It needs improvement.

I will always talk about …     Music.   Faith.  Hope.   God.

But, since Sunday (into Monday) I have held back.  I have wanted to repost a few things – but I didn’t. I have wanted to make a comment.  But,  I have been disheartened. I have this feeling that my writings are being scrutinized.   I don’t like it.  I’m being stifled.

I think about famous (and not so famous) writers who have been out-spoken.  They wrote anyway.   People had a choice whether to read or not to read.   Obviously, there is a limit if someone writes about an individual threat or violence.  It used to be that defaming a person and purposely writing lies was wrong.   It was called out.   It’s not that way anymore.  Welcome to the world of tweeting.

America has the Bill of Rights, and we have the freedom of speech.   There are some out there who love to remind us of it all the time.  (“Don’t tread on me – I can do what I want to do, say what I want to say.”)   It applies to everyone.    Even if you don’t like it.   We need to be responsible about it, and we need to accept the consequences of it.  Again, I do.   Some say to me to just talk about fluff.     I include fluff…    but I am more than that.

How long will it be before I feel I can freely express myself?  I don’t know.  We sure are all edgy. We are very divided.  People lash out.   I know, I know.   Some will say I have too.    Sincerely, I do NOT want to lash out – but I do want to talk and write to maybe open minds.   I want to debate respectfully.  I want to call out inequalities. I will try my best to do it without using bad language (actually I don’t curse – never have, never can. I think it lowers a conversation.)     But am I blunt?    Some say I am very blunt.

Let me end this with – I feel ‘stuck’ and maybe a bit unimportant if I can not speak out.  Right now I feel like people are telling me to shut up and stop being me.    it doesn’t feel good.     I’m sensitive about my heart and my writing.   I want to make a difference and I have used my writing For a long time.  Now I feel like I can’t.

Wait…    Here’s some irony.     I think I just did.