This may be my last post for a little while. It’s the day before Election Day and for my own sanity I feel I may just have to tune out for a few days.
I have been through a lot of presidential elections in my time. I have voted every single time since turning 18, and therefore I have Always cared about who wins and who loses. I always had a preference. But, I also knew that it was a lot of ‘politics’ and our country would go on without much concern. I voted for policy more than worrying about the person who held the office. I never questioned their ability to be ‘presidential.’. I remember well NOT voting for George W. Bush but still being able to look my friends in their eyes even if they voted for him. I used to play bridge with some dear girlfriends in Sparta, NJ, and I was the only one at the bridge table with a differing opinion about him. But, I never considered leaving the group, or de-friending my bridge partners.
Four years ago changed me. I mean, come on, we had an election against a seasoned senator and former First Lady, a woman, and a smart lawyer – going up against a failed businessman and a reality star. I watched during that campaign how he demeaned people, how he stared people down in debates & even followed them around the floor, and snickered. He acted like a child – one we would consider a brat. A child who needed to be reprimanded. He called for a crazy form of ‘Americanism’ that would send us backwards (MAGA), and he overtly said racism comments. I thought there was no way the American people would consider him as a sincere opponent, and certainly not worthy to hold the highest office in our land. He had no political experience. He had no finesse. He had no skills in leadership, in debate, in bringing people together. His language was dividing and his only concern was his ego. His platform (if you want to call it that) was about putting up walls – realistically and figuratively.
Well… we all know the outcome. We have lived through 4 years of it. My opinion has not changed for the better at all, and in fact, his daily tweets, his daily stunts, his constant ego, and nepotism, have shown me worse than I even imagined.
I hear the polls now – and I worry. Oh, I have learned not to trust polls because they are often conducted by those out there who try and sway… and the whole social media world has become a tilted view of what is happening. The past four years has been an explosion of lies from the president, and lies and propaganda on social media sites. Bots, and fake postings, and constant deluges of skewed info. It has become difficult to find truth.
When Trump won four years ago several things happened to me. First, I Turned the TV off at 10:00pm in disbelief. In the morning I woke to the news and cried, and I felt a physical weight and sense of sadness come over me, and I really felt I did not know our country anymore. In the days following his election I walked around in a daze and looked at people I thought I knew… and wondered ‘did they vote for him? Why? ‘ Or, did they Just not vote for Hillary because they thought she’d win? Or, maybe did they give up on our democratic system awhile ago, become cynical and were checked out during the campaign? Is this what really happened?
I felt redeemed a bit watching the amazing Women’s Marches that exploded across our country, and I really wanted to be at one. From that time on I felt I had to go… to be visible, To do something, and so I have tried to use my voice and myself – in marches, in my writings here, in volunteering for a candidate.
It’s been a long four years. There have been so many outrageous stories, and tweets, that I feel people have become numb to how low the office of the president has become. The world has watched – and laughed. Some world leaders have been manipulated and allies have been treated poorly.
I still hurt every day over what has happened.
Today, one day before “Election Day,” there are still so many people in our country who support him. It is beyond my understanding. Some people on the left like to say ‘they have drunk his kool-aid’ by watching only Fox for 4 years, and by actually believing everything he says as truth. It’s like a masterclass of deceiving people. So, yes – Perhaps it is true. I hate to think that so many Americans are really that gullible. But, as my shock of 4 years has never gone away, I still think it must be that I do not understand how so many people think. Because, If I try to, I find it very sad… and I come up with very seeing the selfish decisions they made, and I see people only concerned with money. Yes, I know there are other issues – but I believe NOTHING can be greater than respect and honesty. They are gone now.
I hope Joe Biden wins because he will work on returning the office of president to what it was. He will start to turn around all the disappointments of the last 4 years – the backwards direction with our environment, with our trust in medicine, and our belief in dignity for every single human being.
If Biden doesn’t win, it’s going to take me some time to get the huge lump out of throat. You may not see me for a few days (not that you do anyway- CoVid is a whole other issue!!), or hear from me in my musings or on social media.
I will eventually be fine. I cherish my close family. I live for my hubby, daughters & SIL’s, for my grandBabies, and my pets. I have support and love from some like-minded friends. But give me time. I’m going to need it.
Marla’s Musings 