Sexual harassment on the job. I’m wondering, how many of us women feel they have experienced it in one form or another. How many have felt uncomfortable with a male co-worker or boss? What woman has not walked the fine line of accepting flattery vs. feeling it was a ‘come on’ and inappropriate in the work place?
Many, many years ago when I was in my 20’s I worked in a predominately male newsroom at a radio station. I was fresh out of college and I was eager to learn, to get ahead, and to be a good employee. That big AM radio newsroom, as I think back on it, was all white males but me in the mornings. . Most were definitely above board and I never felt they liked me and worked with me because I was female. They treated me properly. I think they appreciated my hard work, my willingness to put in long hours (and to arrive at 5:00am!) and I never felt that I was an object to them. All but one. I will call him the “Italian Stallion” because he was Italian and he thought he was a ladies man, and he had a very high opinion of himself. He used to like to tell off-color jokes in the newsroom, and he used to have this way of looking at me that I know was sexual. He lingered with a stare, or he would play with his mustache. It was obvious to me that he enjoyed flirting and thinking he was “God’s gift to women.” He was married to a lovely woman and while I worked there she had their first child.
Nothing happened. I ended up taking another job position at the station and went to the FM side. I was still working on the same floor, but in a different area, and did not run into the Italian Stallion very often.
I never reported him. I never did more than keep a professional relationship and I certainly never flirted back. Although, I did hear that another woman in the newsroom that worked there after me did get ‘intimate’ with the news director – to get ahead in her job. Did she? Maybe. The rumors abounded that she used her body to get an on-air job. The boss was ‘happy’ to do it.
I bring up my experience because as you know New York Governor Cuomo resigned his office earlier in the week after 11 women came forward with charges of inappropriate, and some illegal, advances from the governor over the years. Another Italian Stallion. He claimed he never did anything inappropriate and it was just how he was raised. He said that the gestures were never meant to be sexual.
Had he not resigned he was going to face impeachment. He felt pressured. But he did not apologize for his behavior.
As we know, we have had a couple of Presidents in modern history who have been charged multiple times, by more than several women, for being inappropriate in the workplace, while holding office, and IN the office in the White House, and therefore creating a situation where the women either quit or felt extremely uneasy. The presidents did NOT apologize either although they had to live through weeks of news stories. (Did they secretly feel Some sort of weird male bonding over it?) Pres. Clinton was tried and impeached by the House of Representatives for telling lies about it. He did not have to leave office. President Trump had been open, perhaps proud, about his crudeness, even caught on audio, and he has lied over and over. He stayed in office his 4 year term – a very long, long 4 year term.
But, remember back, when Trump was elected, women from all over America immediately responded and went out into the streets in cities large and small and peacefully protested him and his behavior. . The numbers were staggering. This women’s movement, which became the “Me Too” movement, came from women saying ‘no more’ – and it happened to ‘me too.’ I remember watching the protests on TV and feeling so proud of all the thousands of women out in the streets. I so wanted to be there. I wanted to be part of those showing up, and speaking up. I think it got me thinking YES I can be a part of peaceful action. I can be heard. I admire all the strong women who spoke out about their bad work experiences, the awkward relationships with their bosses, and who have gone on and retained attorneys and sued to bring justice. I don’t think any male working now, in today’s world, is unaware of the “Me Too” movement and it’s strength. Since it formed there has been a real push for equality pay, and for equality in the treatment for all employees, male and female.
So, for Gov. Cuomo to say he didn’t know better, or did not feel he was doing anything inappropriate, is really impossible to believe. Cuomo is a Democrat and so am I. It is the party that prides itself on being socially aware and that works to put women’s rights high on their party platform. He knew his behavior was questionable. He had been told. He did it anyway.
It takes a long time for change. The tide is turning slowly. Men in media have been called out, and they have lost their high positions of profile. Other politicians have been caught and called out too. I don’t know about other businesses. Hopefully change is happening there also. We know there is not equality yet – but the day will come when men who want to use their power and position to flirt in the workplace, and to expect favors and more, will be fired. It will not be tolerated.
The new census report just came out and white Americans are not as large of a percentage of the population as they once were in the country. The days of the white male feeling superior are ending – and it’s all for the better. Women and men will be closer to equality. Women will say “me too” when it comes to being an equal player in the field. It makes me proud to be a part of it.
Marla’s Musings 