I had a revelation just now. I was scanning my Facebook feed, reading some posts for women about finding your tribe, and reading about how we need to support each other, and that happiness comes when you are understood and can laugh.
Here is my ‘a ha moment’: I struggle with finding my tribe. I do a lot of activities each week, and I am around many people daily. I see the same ones over and over BUT I don’t consider them to be ‘like me.’ We share common interests but we do NOT speak deeply about life, issues, and hopes.
Part of this circumstance is because of where I live. Part of it is that we live in such a hyper-sensitive time about beliefs and politics. Sometimes I feel the people I run into are not deep thinkers. Shallow. But, also, some avoid expressing an opinion in fear of a push back. They prefer to stay quiet.
Thinking of girlfriends, I can think of only 2 that I talk with that think like me. Only 2. Only 2 get me. Sometimes on Facebook I notice that someone will give a thumbs up on one of my posts. But, usually, I have about 5 or 6 Facebook ‘friends’ who are willing to respond at all. And those who respond I have not seen for years, or even have met in person. We are apart geographically but close in our way of looking at life.
I really appreciate them. They keep me sane at times. They help me realize I am not alone. Some days I really need that.
The idea of having a tribe is a woman thing. Women from an early age ‘play’ with girls who like the same things. By young adulthood they cling to important women friends to help get through college, through dating, then independent living, and a strong bond forms – and you just know. They are there for you. You can say anything and they still love you and a late night conversation with wine is a blessing.
I won’t name other names, but my bestie Sue is one of my 2. We started back in college and we have gone through all the stages of growth together. We have never had a major difference of opinion, because we just see the world the same. When we get together, which is too rare, we talk nonstop about everything! No topic is off limits. We can sit for hours and let it out. It’s therapeutic.
At this point of my life, yes – in my older years – I don’t run across women who want to hang and ‘really talk.’ I guess lately I have been frustrated about it. Saddened. And, maybe that is why sometimes I prefer hanging with younger women. They talk about interesting things!!
Aging for me has made me more of an activist. Time has given me the opportunity to educate myself more – to be up on the news, to read more, to have an opinion based on that.
But I can’t find a tribe who is the same.
Marla’s Musings 