The past couple of weeks have been busy ones for me. Good and tiring busy times. I spent 8 days with my daughter who has the new baby and a 3 year old. Then I drove and spent a day with my other daughter and her family, and I brought the 6 1/2 year old twin boys home for a few days since they are ‘tracked out’ of school right now. They were here until yesterday.
This morning I am catching up on emails, and taking a bit of time to get the house in order, and of course, time to sit here and pass along a few thoughts.
While traveling this past week I listened to a new podcast from John Dickerson, called “Navel Gazing.” John is a long time newsman, a writer, and a historian. Since his college years he has kept a notebook in his back pocket, literally writing down his thoughts, funny conversations, important milestones, and really everything that happened to him each day. He has decided to go back to the beginning of his note taking and revisit them, using them to turn into a podcast. I loved listening to his first one. You can find it on Slate.com. John talks on it about why he writes and I connected with what he said. Writing is expressive, individual, and lasting.
So, here I write.
Two days ago OJ Simpson died. Quickly there have been memes popping up on social media. Some quite funny. It is his legacy. The man, who was once a gifted and famous football player, then actor and spokesman, became the name of someone who ‘got away with murder’ literally. When he was on trial it was televised so the country could watch, including me. The judge, the defense attorneys, the state attorneys, and even witnesses, all became famous from appearing on TV. Everyone had an opinion. I watched the whole trial and thought without a doubt that OJ was guilty. The evidence showed a man with a blowup anger problem, a physically strong man, and he was jealous, and his ego was hurt by his divorce. His ex-wife had a restraining order against him. The DNA showed blood in his bedroom and the timeline that was laid out showed he could have killed his ex-wife and her friend, gotten home, cleaned up, and then packed, got in the limo, and off to the airport. He even had injuries on his hands.
But, as we know, the jury found him not guilty. I remember that I was with my husband and we were walking off the Farmstead golf course when someone coming on it said the verdict was in and OJ was free. I knew the jury had started deliberating but I never thought it would be decided so quickly. And I did not expect that outcome. I was shocked.
I grew up never exposed to the division of races of the real world. I went years before understanding that people of various colors had beliefs and stereotypes. I felt justice was equal for everyone. So, the OJ Simpson trial was eye opening to me.
Of course since then I have seen how treatment for blacks and for other colors is different than those with caucasian skin like mine. Unfortunately time and time (and time and time) again it still happens and now with cellphones we all witness it so much more often, more than we ever want to see.
Prejudice is not born within us. It is taught. It is passed down in families. It comes from fear. Perhaps some ignorance. And it comes from those who think they should be better than others.
It is raising it’s ugly head right now at the southern border. Now, let me say first, yes, we have a big problem with people trying to sneak in to our country illegally. I know many in our country are not happy about it. Our immigration system needs more money put into it, and smart minds to create a better way so we can handle the influx, and then we can help them assimilate into our country. I believe if people are given an easy, quicker way to apply to come in, and we processed them in a timely manner then the numbers of those sneaking in would go way down.
The fact that these people coming to the southern border look different, and that they speak a different language, makes it easy to put them in a category where prejudice flourishes. (They are outsiders. Not like me.) Then add in all the false information spread that immigrants will take away our jobs, and steal, and sell drugs, and murder…. And woooo. Well, here we are. So, here’s a fact check for you: these people do not take any jobs from Americans already working. Most immigrants work labor heavy jobs in fields, and in hotel rooms. Hard jobs that don’t make much money. They don’t want to steal because they want to stay here. They don’t want to draw attention to themselves. In recent years I have heard of 2 cases where an illegal immigrant murdered someone. Want to compare that to all the murders from the people who are born citizens of the US? Don’t get me started on our gun climate, and how we quickly kill each other.
There is one man, you know who he is, that loves to spew all the fake facts about immigrants – to rile people up and to have them think he is with them, and he says he will immediately make the border issue go away if he is elected. (Remember how the Mexicans would pay for it? He was unable to do it when he was president for four years.) He really makes no sense most of the time, and deflects by instead blaming others. He has no answers, no real plans, yet people follow him, and they hope he can return our country to how it was before so many immigrants came to America.
Ha. oh wait!!! Our history is forgotten. “Bring us your tired and poor.” We are a country of immigrants. All our descendants came from somewhere else. And, all came looking for a safe place to live, a warm home, a community with similar goals to raise children, to live in peace, and to enjoy their best life possible.
My family came from Germany. Leaving their homeland behind, crossing the Atlantic on a ship, starting out with very little, just wanting a chance, a little bit of land, and having faith that it would all work out.
How did we get so turned around from then? Why do we feel so entitled?
Prejudice.
Page two.
What do we teach our children and Grandchildren? Do we pass along these prejudices? Do we show them that it is okay to look at others as ‘less than’?? Or – Do we live as examples to them – and show them how to live with love for all?
After the last 2 weeks of time with my grandchildren I see that they are really sponges. They don’t miss a thing. I spied them pausing, thinking about something they would see or hear. I could almost see their little brains taking it in and trying to figure it out. You know that look.
Grandchildren can be exhausting when you realize how important time with them is. Teaching the right lessons takes patience, and it takes continuity. It is not easy! Our words and our actions matter.
I believe it really does take a village to raise kids up and to make them happy and caring people, and to teach them that they are unique and wonderful individuals, and they have an important place in this world. Too many children don’t get the benefits that come from a village. It takes parents and grandparents, and teachers, and neighbors, and librarians, and volunteers, church members, and coaches, and really anyone who is kind, and gives a smile, who cares, and lends a hand.
Page Three
When a child doesn’t get all he or she needs from the village and then acts out badly we never blame ourselves. It’s somebody else’s problem. Right? The child ‘slipped through the system.’ Or they came from a broken home. Or they didn’t study hard enough. They just didn’t try. We then have a young person that will become a teen with no direction. Or, a teen who doesn’t care if he steals, or bullies, or escapes with drugs. As a society we want to punish him, and even put him in prison. And, really, by that time our laws do require it for a civilized and safe society.
We all are responsible for those who fail. We look away. We don’t give time or money. We live in a dog eat dog world. We like a pecking order and nobody wants to reach down to lift someone up.
I believe we need to spend lots of our tax money for preschool and early childhood programs. We can’t wait. It has to start at a young age. I also believe if we do, then we will be able to spend less on incarceration, on mental health, on other social programs.
Page Four
Our children and grandchildren are the first generation in a long time that will not do better than their parents. I have a 30 year old friend (my hair stylist) who can not buy a starter home. She and her boyfriend have a baby on the way and they want to put down roots, and stop paying apartment rent, and they want to provide for the baby once he/she arrives. Both parents work in careers we all need but they scrape by and will never achieve financial wealth.
All jobs are needed to make the world go round. Everyone is important. I believe the minimum wage needs to be upped so that a full time, hard working person can live. I don’t think that is too much to ask. My friend and her boyfriend will never be able to afford daycare or a private preschool for their child.
Final page
I know there are incredible and countless ills in our country, too many to fix. But as I have put my thoughts down here I can’t help but hope that we see how changing the American system to honor our children, and to provide what they need, will help us all in the long run. Putting time and money towards children is never a wrong thing to do!
It will be like a domino effect. Start at the beginning. Watch the tiles go in line as they grow, as they move forward, and then we can be in awe at how life flows.
How to help? Volunteer. Be a mentor. Give money to charities that work for the children. Locally we have two wonderful ones: Teach My People, and Miss Ruby’s Kids. And vote for candidates who understand that our tax money needs to go to our children – to their health, to their education, and remember ALL children (legal or illegal) deserve our love and care.
Marla’s Musings 