Women

The results of the presidential election have made me wonder a lot about how women feel about themselves and each other.

On Election day, while people were still voting, I had a hair appointment. I told my hair stylist/friend, who just had her first baby one month before, that she had now joined a group that is like no other. I told her women bond from all the experiences of pregnancy, child birth, and how feeling the unlimited love for the child is like nothing else. I told her she would now have conversations the rest of her life with women that men will never understand. Right?

Women, called the ‘fairer sex,’ are really extremely strong, and are experts of giving. Love for another, for others, rule their lives. That is, of course, when a mother CHOOSES to become one and make it her life, because then she does everything she can for herself and the baby.

So, I was very hopeful that the bond of women, the belief that women hold to always support each other, would stop Trump from becoming president again. Women know how pregnancies are unique and how all kinds of medical issues can happen. My own daughter was pregnant with twins and she had special needs due to that, and she was closely monitored by medical professionals. Thank God. There are still many miscarriages. Ask any woman. They either had one or know someone who did. There are all kinds of other issues: the fertilized egg implanted in to the fallopian tube. Irregular formation of the fetus. And, sometimes, no heartbeat. I believe that every woman mourns during those times.

Trump purposely put ultra-conservative judges on the Supreme Court. Yes, he had help from the Republicans congress. Women lost their ability to get a safe abortion in many states and since then we have heard incredibly sad stories. Women telling real stories about having to travel out of state. Women having to be secretive. And you know, we have not heard about the ‘back alley’ abortions but you can bet they are happening.

So, I truly thought women would support other women with their vote. But they didn’t.

My other sincere disappointment is how women excused the language and behavior of Trump as it comes to women. We have all heard it. No excuses. We know how vile he can be. Crass. Disgusting. We also know he was convicted of sexual abuse. He paid off call girls. He had been linked with Epstein, who preyed on girls and young women for sex, used them, hurt them physically AND mentally forever.

But, I thought, women are strong – and they can speak through the vote, and they will make a statement. And, a part of this campaign was about reminding women that voting is private. Men don’t have to know. I, along with hundreds across America, wrote out postcards that included the line “your vote in important and private.” They went to people all across the country. Signs popped up in public womens’ bathrooms reminding women that they have power.

Well, I don’t have to tell you how the vote went.

I say all the time “I will never understand.” And, it’s true. I will never understand how women turned their backs on other women. On our teenage girls. On our young daughters. I will never understand WHY this was not an important issue. In fact, why it was not a defining issue on deciding how to vote for Tuesday.

I am a woman. I’m not a crazy over the top feminist, but I want all women to have freedom of choice, and to have equal opportunities, and I get teary eyed thinking that not every woman wants that.

I am sorry that women now have to get through the coming 4 years. But, had we voted together there would have been a different outcome. Women are more than half of all Americans. Women are strong. We just weren’t bonded.

We let each other down.