one week later

So, it was seven days ago that America voted for our next president. Since that time I have felt so many emotions. The day after, on Wednesday, I did a lot of crying. Then I felt a bit numb, and I have gone back and forth in being disappointed in our country and the choice it made, and still confused why people accept him.

As what happened to me the first time we elected him (I prefer not to use his name – we all know who I am talking about) when I went out in public I looked at people I saw differently. I thought in my head: Did you vote for him? Why? You look to be okay. Living a safe, and good life. What caused you to go for the one with no integrity? The habitual liar and cheat?

Maybe you didn’t watch his rallies. Maybe you didn’t hear him put down people all the time. Maybe you didn’t see him present himself as a buffoon. Maybe you thought his name calling was funny. Maybe you felt sorry for him because he had his ear grazed. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

I am still not able to watch much news yet because I just don’t want to see his face and hear his voice anymore. I had hoped that the election was going to take him out of the news, except for when his criminal cases were covered.

I do see some headlines now and then that pop up on my phone about his cabinet and his administration picks. I am not surprised at his choices, but they scare me. He seems to be picking people who I figured he would. These are “yes” people to him. Are they smart? Hmmm. Will they work cautiously within the guidelines of democracy? Hmmm. Will any of them push back when he comes up with some crazy idea? Hmmm.

It’s only been one week and I find myself already feeling sorry for our current Sec. of State Blinkon who has worked tremendously long and hard with leaders in the volatile Middle East and for Ukraine. The time he has put in. The amount of work! Now it will go away. I feel sorry for so many other civil servants, and those in the Democratic Party who have also put themselves out there to work on issues and projects that will now be reversed. We talk about government ‘waste’ but yet we don’t think about how this change will waste all the forward steps, and the talent of so many Americans.

I think about the setback for womens rights, and the setback for the hopes of safe gun control in America. I definitely worry about anyone in our country who is not white or Christian. Will we see an uptick in gun violence? Will it affect those who don’t fit ‘the look’? It’s very concerning to me.

I have seen the meme about the circus coming to town and ‘you know who’ as the head clown. It does seem a possibility. Americans have voted saying they want the one who playfully lies, who seems to wear a disguise of having ‘something’ – I can’t even identify what it is. Really, what does he have? Do you think he has bully power? You like that? Do you think he is intelligent? I mean, really??? Do you think he will lead with any sort of compassion?

It’s one week into this – and my emotions are still all over the place. Sad. Angry. Disappointed. Fearful. I am not feeling that the next 4 years will be a calm time. I don’t think it will a safe time. I don’t think the United States will be a ‘beacon on the hill’ to the world. (Ya’ll love Reagan so I thought I’d throw that one in.)

It’s only one week later. Nothing he does EVER makes each day, or week, better.