One of those days.

(I started writing this post yesterday.)

Some days I feel hopeful. Really. Despite all the horrible things going on in our country and in the world. I feel hopeful because over time I have learned to live in my own little bubble. I have had to live in the bubble since Trump’s first election because I have felt hurt so badly over people I thought I knew. And now, basically, I only allow those who know me, and who are rational and open, to be part of my circle. It is for my own sanity. I have friends who know what is going on and they give me hope that I am not alone. It is truly about survival during these times. It’s about trying to keep it real. It’s about realizing that I am not the crazy one.

Some days I wonder though.

Occasionally a day like today happens. This afternoon I was confronted with the fact that there are still too many people out there who live in another ‘reality.’ Well, for them it is real. But, for me it is another example of how we can be so swayed to the point of accepting lies and hearing only what we want to hear.

It is so depressing.

I have shed tears from time to time over it all. Yesterday I did.

Yesterday I was thrown by someone I know who has gone down the Trump rabbit hole. He’s all in. He must be a long-time “Fox only” viewer who has believed what they have sold. He has accepted all the lies.

It will take me a little time to accept it. I will certainly still be friendly, and wish him well. But, I now know that we see the world differently and neither is willing to change. At this point we may be UNABLE to change. Years of indoctrination have happened.

In the future therapists and social experts, and psychologists , will be studying this era, the Trump years, to figure out how people can be brought to such division. Good people. Those who you meet on the street and smile at you. I suppose even now we can look back on Germany pre-World War 2. We can see how the people then were ‘fooled’ or told over and over again lies that turned into facts in their minds.

“Mind games” that played on their ‘fears.’ Calculated games that divided. Them vs. Us. To the point of horrible inhumane actions.

I worry we are on the same path.

Yesterday was one of those days when I was faced with it directly. It hurt. It scared me about how it keeps happening, even to people I thought knew better.

I seriously don’t know how we will get through the next 3 1/2 years. One day at a time I guess. But divided. Constantly disappointed. Working hard to keep hopeful. Living as a nomad Christian.

But I promise this – I will be making it a point to constantly push back. To continue to peacefully protest. Doing what I can to make our country safer and more equal for my grandchildren and all children.

To constantly search for facts. To promote honesty and integrity.

It’s what I can do. It’s what I must do.