Deja vu all over again.

I know I am a broken record. I know there are people out there, on the internet and in real life, who wish I would just not post so much about Trump and what he is doing to our democracy and to our country. I know. I know. Really I know.

And, I really wish I didn’t have to spend so much time and energy on putting out there, on my social media and here on my musings, the evidence of what is going on. But, it needs to be seen and heard. I cannot in my heart ignore all of the scary events going on and all of the crazy rantings of our president.

Ignorance might be bliss for now for those choosing not to know, but even they will be affected. For some it seems that is the only time they take notice: when their personal lives are negatively touched by it.

I have been writing about Donald Trump for 10 or more years now. I have expressed my feelings and fears – over and over. Unfortunately Trump has not surprised me with redeeming himself ever, and in fact he has done things to us that I could not have even imagined that an American president to do. Why? Because I could not imagine a leader so hell bent on retaliation, with complete narcissism, with the single minded notion to make himself as much money as possible, at the same time not having even a teeny tiny bit of humanity.

With him – it is truly Deja vu all over again. Every day Donald Trump abuses his power, and every day he says outrageous things, and every day he hurts people – literally killing them. Some quickly with the bombing in Venezuela and on the seas, some slowly by taking away federal money to fund needy children, and cancer research, mental health care, rolling back environmental guardrails, and so much more. I truly cannot list everything he has done because there is so very much, and every day we continue to see more.

Right now the focus is on the ICE bullies that he has disseminated into the streets of our country, especially in Minneapolis. These men are not well trained, not vetted, and they are ‘personal soldiers’ sent to do his dirty work. I believe that many of them are those who have wanted to be a part of a militia, who love being the tough guy, and who have a grudge and this gives them an outlet to push people around. Trump seems to invite their violence. He loves the power he possesses.

At the same time he is stopping the legally required opening of the Epstein files to save himself and his big white powerful friends, all who would have their names and businesses ruined if the files were released.

I could go on and on – because yes, it is Deja vous all over again. He will not stop. Trump is a psychopath who has no compassion. He has no fear. He is like a bull running through our democracy and nobody is stopping him.

I try, and I struggle all the time, to not put the blame on others. But it is hard to- and that is why I write safely here. I prefer to stay away from those who I know who allowed him to become our president. I see so much pain that could have been avoided. I constantly ask why so many people were fooled. Why did I see who Trump really was from the beginning and they did not? And, truly, how can anyone still defend the man? I will never understand. We know his cabinet are people hand chosen because they will not go against Trump. They might have a fear all their own – hidden secrets. We have Republicans in Congress with the same fear. But, I have to ask: where is the point when holding a job but losing all respect and morality is just not worth it? Is there a line? Where is their decency? Are they all too far gone? Will they continue to stay quiet while our country turns into a chaotic place with no laws? We are well on our way.

So, here I write…. And watch, as this system of checks and balances is gone. As illegal actions at the top are not punished. As American citizens lose basic needs. As our neighbors turn against each other.

I never thought this would happen here.

Growing up I read about authoritarians in places far away. In uncivilized countries. In my history books in school. I took for granted our wonderful democracy. Our freedoms. I knew political parties disagreed on issues but not on our very system.

It’s really hard for me to stay hopeful right now, yet I try and remember that there are some good people in our government. Their hands are tied right now, but when they can make changes they will. We will ‘survive’ and although what is happening now is sad, one day it will again stop and we will turn the corner, and work hard to bring help to those in need, to offer equality to all of every color and background, to live again as stewards of our lands, and allow freedom for our allies around the world. We will no longer be a bully. No longer an instigator. No longer a threat. We will instead promote love and peace.