Hubby said to me this morning that it has been awhile since I have written a “Marla’s Musings” and I replied that I feel like a broken record, just saying the same thing over and over.
Then, as it just so happened, he forwarded me a Q & A editorial piece he saw online about how to get along with people, how to make and keep friends, especially when there are differing political views. This is something I have struggled with during these Trump years, so I will explain…
It used to be, back before Trump, that people could disagree on political issues and how best our government should serve Americans. But, we always felt united in knowing we wanted the same outcome: Peace. Financial comfort. Freedoms. Back then I thought we wanted other things, like: Equality. Fairness. Respect. Unity. Honesty.
I remember having discussions with others I knew and who I considered friends before Trump, and the talks were mindful, and kind, and even if we saw government’s purposes differently, they were still acceptable. I remember living day to day without having politics be foremost in our minds because we did not have a president who might react in a crazy, rash and worrisome way. We didn’t have a president who used fear to make himself look great.
This was ‘pre-Trump.’ Then my eyes were opened with the ‘first Trump’ election win. As I have said over and over (yes, I’m a broken record) that that November day changed the way I looked at my family, my neighbors, friends, and even random people on the street. With Trump’s win I questioned the very core beliefs in people. Do they really want equality? Fairness? Respect? It did not seem so to me. Instead I saw that instead they valued: Self. Power. Inequality. Getting ahead of others. They accepted: abusive language. Outrage. Instability. Living on the edge.
And so now, over the years, a decade, we have lived with it as a way of governing. ‘Second Trump’ has turned it all up even more. We, the people in America, are at a point now where there is a Great Divide, not always about issues – but about human decency and compassion, about things that go way beyond whether or not something is a conservative or a liberal approach.
So, back to friendship: Having a true friend is often hard. Finding a new one is nearly impossible. We live in an era of ‘acquaintances’ vs. deep anything, knowing you to the core relationships. Talking about the weather but not about much else is the safe way. Because, when we do try and open up, and hear what is in a person’s heart, it is often not pretty. Talking politics is now talking about core values and our beliefs about how we view humanity. It has been openly exposed during these Trump years. We have actually seen and heard acceptable meanness. Selfishness is above other qualities.
Some people I know are afraid to open themselves up. They hide. Act like they don’t care. They stay quiet. And, yes, that annoys me. How can you stay quiet about sexual predators? How can you stay quiet about gestapo style armed & masked men grabbing people off the street? And – yes, how can you say you are Christian and accept these actions?
Listen, social media has many pitfalls, but I will say it has shown me who true friends are. I have a group of mostly lady friends there, on Facebook and Instagram, who show me that we do think alike and that I am not alone – that we FEEL alike about not just each other, but about humanity, about basic core beliefs. We encourage each other. We relate to each other. I have people online I have never met in person but I feel closer to them than some I know face to face. Social media supports the like-minded groups and special political groups and that is where the connection is now.
The church used to be that for me. I felt we shared a common ‘pre-Trump’ belief. Of course!! Because to be a Christian is to love all of humanity, right?? I have unfortunately lost the feeling connected with the people there and that makes me sad.
Friendships, relationships, connections, have all changed during these Trump years. How can one man do this? He opened up a hidden chasm. He found a way to put people against people. I see it everywhere. I feel it in me.
It is hard to find a true friend.
Marla’s Musings 