Yay! It’s a new day – and a new month! One day closer to Spring!

I live in an area where Springtime comes early. Already my spring bulbs are pushing up stems and growing every day. I watch the progress. I love to see new life come forth, and soon I will see daffodils, hyacinths, and iris blooms! 💐

To prepare I have been cutting out the old, and clearing space for new growth. Soon I will work the soil and fertilize all my plants.

February brings special days. Valentine’s Day of course. The day all about love. ❤️. We also have Presidents Day, the day when we remember how we used to honor and respect our leaders. Remember Washington? Lincoln? Famous ones for sure. I admire many other presidents too. For me I think of President Carter and President Obama.

This year is a Leap Year and so February has an extra day. Did you know this? Every four years an extra day is stuck on to the end of February – and there is a good reason for it, but I admit I need to google and relearn why. I know it has something to do with clocks. Ha.

I think I wold prefer an extra day stuck on to June. I’d go for another day of warm weather and lots of daylight! ☀️

February is Black History Month. It’s the time designated each year to be reminded, and to learn about how the forefathers didn’t write black equality into the Constitution. Different times. Horrible and inhumane times. Black Americans are still working towards equality. We have made some good steps towards it, but there is no doubt in my mind that we move forward, and then backwards, and it’s a long walk to get to a time when color won’t matter in education, medical care, employment opportunity, and housing rights.

Black History Month also honors those who have led the way towards equality. Rep. Lewis is a hero of mine. There were many amazing African Americans left out of school textbooks. It’s important to read about them on your own. 📚

February is Super Bowl month! I remember when the big game happened at the end of January. But, football season dates have changed and now all the hoopla has moved it back a couple of Sundays. It’s The Kansas City Chiefs vs. the San Francisco 49er’s. The Chiefs have a mini-dynasty happening. The 49ers haven’t won a Super Bowl since the days of Joe Montana and Steve Young. Quarterbacks usually make a big difference in the BIG game. The 49ers have a young one in Brock Purdy. The Chiefs have the superstar Patrick Mahomes. 🏈

I am looking forward to Reba singing the National Anthem and for Usher doing his thing at halftime. I love both artists! They are very different – both are awesome in their talent. Side note: I once went to see Usher play the part of Billy Flynn in “Chicago” on Broadway. I stood by the stage door to watch him enter that day. I’m a fan! 🎶

Lastly, February brings me closer to meeting my new granddaughter. She is due in early March. I can’t wait! I pray for a safe and easy entrance into the world – for my daughter and for her. I am a blessed Mimi, and I know it. I used to get the winter blues but not much anymore. Every day brings joy. 💖

I hope it does the same for you.

I am home for a few days and I have these thoughts running around in my head…

Pro football is at it’s very best right now and it helps me get through the cold days of January. This past weekend hubby and I watched 4 good games, and I made some chili yesterday. There is nothing like watching cold fans in the stands, from the warmth of my living room with a hot bowl of chili with cheese and sour cream on top!

Taylor Swift handles fame and all the attention in a pretty amazing way! I am in awe of how she goes on, acts herself, and seems to enjoy life. I said this before, but I think she and Travis are a good match: both are celebrities, excellent in their fields, they entertain, and they work hard and always want to do a wonderful job. Both love family. Both seem grounded in a crazy world of social media saying whatever they want to say. Keep going TayTay and Trav!

DeSantis just dropped out of the race for the Republican nominee for president. He has captured the news almost as much as Trump, and he has had wacko ideas just like Trump. (Book banning, Disney hate, LBGTQ hate, and more) Bye. Bye. Think of all the money he spent spewing his ideas across the country and especially in Iowa. What a waste. We sure need to change the political primary system.

My old, blind, hard of hearing, diabetic pug is still hanging in there. I can’t help but wonder about her quality of life. Obviously her favorite sense now is touch. I have noticed her sense of smell has definitely been important and seems increased at this point in her life. She can smell any food I try to eat (sneak) near her. And, sometimes I think she is sound asleep but she smells me tiptoe by and cries. She also sometimes wakes up from a nap on the couch, realizing she is alone and cries. Sad.

The past two days have been frigid for South Carolina. It’s enough cold weather for me. I could never live in a cold climate without getting depressed, and feeling listless. That’s just me. I need warmth and sunshine. It’s coming back tomorrow. Yay!

I have read some weird books lately. I struggle to finish them but I don’t like stopping part way through and calling it a lost cause. I am reading “A Little Life” by Hanna Yanaghara. Oh my! Deep. Depressing. Sad. I am thinking of skipping to the last chapter to see how it ends, so I can move on. Again, it’s not my normal way of reading – but I have a stack of other books that I want to get started on, and I hate wasting the time.

CoVid. Some of my friends have had it again this winter. As something that is still relatively new in terms of illnesses that effect us, still I worry. Some people seem to breeze through it. I have stayed current on the boosters and I have been okay, knock on wood. But I also know of a few people who keep getting bouts of it, and it can really take it’s toll. A friend’s husband just took his own life last week after being diagnosed with his 3rd bout in a row. CoVid effects people in many different ways, and we really don’t know all that much about it yet. Maybe we will in ten years. Maybe inoculations and meds will be better by then. But for now, CoVid is still scary. Don’t dismiss it.

Wrinkles. Ugh. Mine are getting bad. I’d love to hear from ladies my age on what they smear on their face to help fight them.

Trump – he is becoming delusional on top of everything else. He has always been a racist and a narcissist but now he is confused and seems like he is mentally weaker than he used to be. It still amazes me that people actually believe in him.

Things to believe in: Children. Music. Nature.

Keep life balanced with seeing the beauty and the good in all these things. Children. Music. Nature: these three make the world go round. They give us a look at all that we want to be. They remind us of what is not important to worry about too. Hang with children. Listen to music. Spend time in nature.

This has been an interesting month so far. Usually January is quiet, especially after the hoopla and travels in December. January is a time to put away Christmas decorations, to clean the house, to spend time reading, and re-energizing for the new year.

But, this year is different.

My daughter’s twin sons are in kindergarten, and their school is on a year-round schedule. They are in the Wake County, NC public school system. They do not take off 3 months in summer, but instead get 3 week breaks at various times throughout the year. It’s called ‘tracking’ in and out. One break is going on right now.

The idea, which is backed up with data, is that shorter breaks are better for children because they don’t forget what they have recently learned, and they don’t have to ‘get up to speed’ again. For teachers, there is not the need to do weeks of review. It makes sense.

But, it is a challenge for parents with kids in this year-round ‘tracking’ program. Because: Parents still need to work.

So, Mimi to the rescue.

I am finishing up two weeks of taking ‘day duty’ with the twins to keep them safe, fed, and in a routine. Well, okay, maybe not a normal routine because I.am.Mimi!! We have had trips out for lunch, and for ice cream, and we have gone to a movie, and to a putt putt indoor park, and to a big interactive play place. We have played board games and charades. We have watched gaming videos (Mario is their favorite!), and other movies at home. It’s been chilly out but with one week to go I hope we can spend some time outdoors, either in the backyard or at a park. If not we will see another movie – and find something interesting to explore.

I come home on the weekends. I’m here now. So, I can catch up, see my hubby and the pets, and get a few things done around the house.

I wouldn’t have it any other way because I know the time with the boys is precious, and it won’t last forever. They are growing up so fast! And, for now, I am blessed to have good health and I can handle what all that we do together.

But, here’s one thing I have noticed: The news and the events of our country and the world have taken a backseat. Or, maybe it’s a more balanced place in my life. When I am with the boys I am not watching TV News. I remember when I was raising my daughters that I did not have the time to keep up closely with the news. But, I could tell you all the Sesame Street character names, and I knew all the Gymboree songs. Today, I am getting an education on all the super hero names, and every Mario character – and there are a lot of them!

Children keep an adult’s life balanced – and more aware of trends, and accepting of new things and change. And, they just make you laugh a lot too! They bring light into a sometimes dull day.

I know I am partial to my own grandchildren but it is amazing to watch them learn new things, and I love how inquisitive they are, even about things we adults take for granted. These years are priceless.

I remember when my girls were little and my mother-in-law would say “I could just eat them up” (a very southern expression), and she meant that she loved every moment, and always wanted to know everything about them. When my daughters did something wonderful, or funny, or even wrong, I could tell her – and she wanted to hear it…. Because she loved them like hubby and I did (and do.) I hope I am that same way now to my grown daughters’ children. I love getting all the videos, and FaceTiming, and spending real time together. It’s never too much. If I get tired it’s a ‘good tired.’

I am blessed (lucky) that I am a grandmother (Mimi!) and get to be involved. It’s the best. I also am thankful that the activities that I love to do, that are away from family, understand me and this time in my life. I love being part of music groups, and my dance class, and my amazing quilting team of ladies. I look forward to being back with them all in another week.

Til then I am busy with two little 6 year old boys.

We are coming to the end of 2023 so it is the time to think about whether or not to make New Year’s resolutions. A lot of people make them, but few stick.

Before starting today’s post I went back to what I wrote in my musings here a year ago. I wanted to see if what I wrote then was accomplished, and if I wanted to maybe ‘re-resolve” a few this year. Reading the post back I realized that most of my resolutions also require a confession. I first have to admit that I am not happy with something I do or do not do, and that I want to better myself in the coming new year.

So first comes a confession – then a statement of hope for a resolution.

Here are a few of mine:

I confess that I judge people by how they live. More precisely I judge them by how they keep their yard and their surroundings. Since I have moved ‘out into a rural area’ where there are no homeowner association rules, and people don’t have to answer to anyone about what they keep and where they keep it, I judge. I ask ‘why don’t they see how junky everything looks? Why don’t they clean up their yards?’ I immediately go there – without knowing anything about who lives there. When I actually stop and think about it, I know there must be a lot of reasons: perhaps poor health or a disability, or lack of funds to pay for a garbage service, or no vehicle to haul junk away. Also, there might be mental health issues due to no job opportunity, or depression.

“Stuff” is a big issue in America. That is why we keep building more and more long term storage facilities. Where I live thy are popping up all over the place. I am a visual person. Just as I dislike junky yards, I dislike rows of storage buildings. We are a relatively new country, and I wonder WHY we have so much stuff everywhere?? Old, broken down stuff. When did Americans become such hoarders?

My resolution is to stop myself and to be more compassionate about what I see. But, also to do something about it. I can help with funding clean up projects and mental health organizations. I can clean up MY surroundings. I enjoy keeping my yard looking nice, but I can go beyond and clean other areas too. I used to take a trash bag from time to time and pick up trash along the road – and I can resolve to make the effort again, and more often.

I confess that I am still searching for a faith home, and I wince when I think about it. I have felt let down, disappointed, and just unsure which direction to turn. For a good part of my life I enjoyed a wonderful fellowship with others in the churches I attended. I felt we were family, and there was a deep commitment to each other.

My resolution is not to find that same church feeling again. It is to make sure I continue to grow my faith, through attendance at various worship services, to reach out to religious organizations that really do make a difference, and to try and accept the various types of worship experiences out there.

I am slowly accepting that being a Christian is different now then it used to be. It has become a hot topic, and a Christian is a misunderstood person due to politics and the fringe groups. The saddest part is that Christians have become so very divisive when that goes against the core teachings of Jesus. I have seen the hypocrisy for myself and I therefore understand how younger people don’t want to be a part of any of it.

I confess that as I age I worry about my coming years, and I worry about my husband’s too. When did we get here? Where did the years go?

I resolve to stay active for as long as I can, to have a young mindset, and to live in the moment since tomorrow is unsure. It’s not just cliche anymore. I will ‘think young – and accept change’ as long as possible.

I confess that I do not enjoy nature enough. Getting out in nature will help my above confession about aging. I live on a river and rarely get ‘close up’ to it and enjoy the beauty it offers.

My resolution is to walk down the dock at least every other day and enjoying the creatures, the birds, the water fowl, turtles, and the breezes, the warmth of the sun, and more.

Confessions are found regularly in silent prayer, and sometimes in our courtrooms. Confessing can clean the soul, and it can keep a person humble. We all do wrong, or we do nothing, and then we try NOT to think about it. Or hide it. Even worse, lie about it. But, taking the time to confess is important – and it’s how we come to repent and then work on personal resolutions.

Will you make a New Year’s resolution or two in the coming days? If so, will you first confess that you need to do better?

I suppose every resolution comes from that.

Yes, as my dad always says “Chronology is inexorable.” Time marches on. Another day by, and another year by…. And they seem to go quickly.

I like to write a post on my birthday because it causes me to stop time for a moment, to look back, and to think about what might be ahead. A birthday is a ‘marker’ of time.

Today is mine.

Thinking back, when I was a teenager I thought anyone in their late 60’s was really, really old. And, of course back then it seemed so far away. Truly as a teenager I thought 40 seemed old. So, as I sit here at the my present age, way beyond 40, I have several thoughts…

First, I think I am hanging in there pretty well. Physically and mentally. I don’t know how much longer I can sustain being well but I hope it’s for many more years. I know one accident, or one medical event, can change everything. So, I am immensely thankful for being here – in this body and still using my brain. I was born with good genes (thank you mom and dad) and I have a hubby that has stressed, and occasionally pushed me, on how important physical activity is. I’m a person of ‘moderation’ and it has served me well to this point.

I found line dancing 2 years ago and it has been a wonderful way to do something aerobic, to use the brain (what step comes next?), and to be uplifted by great music and friendships.

I have continued my push to always be reading. I caught the bug back when my daughters were in high school and I was the ‘taxi mom,’ and I always had a book in the car. It helped pass the time during their music lessons and such, but it also opened my mind to different people, different times, and different lands.

As I have aged I have also found music – and for me, really music is the icing on the cake of life. Music makes it all sweeter. I love attending concerts, and I am constantly in awe of the talent of musicians. I play just enough to know how hard it can be and how ‘gifted’ the best are to be able to touch my soul. I have never gone to a Broadway musical, or a country music concert, or a musical worship service, without feeling a sense of awe. Music reaches in – and emotes. It is not an extra in my world – it is essential to my happiness.

I am also so thankful for my ever-growing family!! The year ahead for me will bring another granddaughter – and how lucky and blessed I am! I decided long ago that I was going to be a vey active grandparent because those little ones bring such joy!! And, as I know, time marches on – and they don’t stay little for long. Now is the time to spend it with them.

I’m also thankful for my core group: hubby, my daughters and their spouses, and my bestie. They are stuck with me! For better or worse. During all the times of life.

Turning another year older is a time to wonder about the future too. Will I make a difference in this world? Once I’m gone will people speak well of me? How can I at this age do something, big or small, to better a situation? To help someone in need? To give back for all my blessings?

I am a Christian, and a believer in the love and grace of Jesus Christ. I know heaven is not earned, but God wants me to be a disciple, and to reach out to help when I can. It is a response to all He has created. I have taken that to heart all my life. I certainly have not done as much I could and I have let ego get in the way, etc. but years ago, when wondering what my purpose on earth was, I knew it was to live as an example of the love and the hope of God. My faith is strong, although recents years have left me questioning some things. But questioning is good. It’s how I come to a higher understanding.

At this age, with young grandchildren, I worry about these times – and what will come next. There is so much hate, dis-information, division, and confusion out there. But, I also know enough about history to see humanity has gotten through some pretty tough times in the past. I still remain an optimist – even though I want to shake some people sometimes!!

Birthdays are kind of like a personal “New Year’s Day” so I think about any resolutions I may make. I don’t strive for a better life – because I’ve really got the best one already. So, I will work on continuing to be a grateful person, to accept and see the good in all people (not easy on some days), and to be kind. As I have aged I have become less judgmental, and I am not vindictive. You can call me out when I fail.

I enjoy a good discussion. I enjoy some wine sitting on my screened porch. I realize that often simpler is better. Less stress is wonderful. Nothing is permanent. Life goes on.

Birthdays are a yearly reminder of that.

Sometime an issue doesn’t matter to you until it hits you in the face. Right? It’s easier to think of broad beliefs, and even the solutions, that don’t effect your money or your time, until it’s right there in front of you.

My hubby and I have this experience right now.

It comes in the package of a six month baby boy, who is our neighbor’s nephew, who has a dead father and drug addicted mother. Our neighbor and his wife have brought the little boy into their home temporarily, along with his 2 1/2 half year old sister. Without them taking the kids right now social services would have found a foster home for them.

Our neighbors have an adult daughter, no grandchildren yet, and therefore no baby items in their house. Some of us have rallied around them and donated some basic needs for them. We went over to give some moral support too and to meet the little guy and his sister a couple of days ago.

The baby boy has beautiful eyes and a wide smile. He is chunky which is wonderful considering he was born ‘addicted’ to drugs due to his mother. He has an large abdominal hernia from the first month or two of lots of screaming and crying. But, he is doing really well now, and at this young age he has no idea how people are deciding his fate.

His momma goes into rehab today. It’s not her first time. Will she be successful in drying out and staying clean? We pray she does. But, reality says she this is a lifelong cycle.

So, what about this baby boy?

And, what about so many, many young children born in America with an uphill battle?

My heart breaks for these little ones.

Addiction. Lack of mental health help for adults. Lack of giving them motivation, an education, and hope. No free birth control. Women who feel no control over their own bodies. And, women looking to get help by attaching themselves to a man by having a baby (and that never works.)

While this is America…. So is the trend by many state governments to take away abortion as an option. I think about how more babies will now be born unwanted, or in situations like our neighbor’s little nephew.

Our social service departments across the country are understaffed and under funded. Foster parents are wonderful but it’s so sad to think of these little ones getting ‘passed around’ – sometimes just for money.

This time of year I think about the birth of the baby boy in Bethlehem, born to a young mother – a woman who was told her role, and she abided. Mary, and Joseph, did what they could to make sure this baby ‘made it’ and he became the change in the world that we needed. Jesus grew up to tell us to love all children, to take care of those in need, and to help the poor and the hopeless. Are we listening?

For hubby and I right now, this beautiful little 6 month old next door is taking an abstract concept and putting in front of us, in real life.

His uncle and aunt have difficult decisions to make. They are working hard to do what will be best for him, and are spending lots of time dealing with ‘the system’ .

This post does not have a happy ending. I wish it did.

We are one week into December already and these thoughts are rattling around in my brain…

Taylor Swift as “Person of the Year” for 2023 was a wonderful choice! She is so uplifting and we need that. Taylor is a poet, a musician, an amazing business woman, a role model to young women, someone who handles attention without being obnoxious, honest, liberal, and genuinely loves her fans. She is in a relationship with them. She knows how to be in touch, is kind, and giving, and during this era of ego driven politicians, and other crazes out there, she is a breath of fresh air. You know, I hope she and Travis work out. She deserves a solid relationship. They both come from close families, have big success in their fields, enjoy playfulness, and are at the age where they are looking for something solid. I wish them good luck.

This is the time of year where everyone seems to get sick. We have a change in weather with the seasons, and we are closed in more, and we are feeling the pre-Christmas stress which challenges are bodies. Both my daughters are feeling it (one just tested positive for the flu), and I have my fingers crossed that I get through the next few weeks without catching some bug. Last night I woke with a sinus headache and it was a reminder to me to drink more water! I never drink enough of it. I go from coffee to wine most days. A body needs lots of water to stay healthy.

Another reminder: Christmas is about the baby Jesus.

Also, December has lots of religious holidays for different faiths. Saying Happy Holidays is appropriate and it is not a ‘war on Christmas.”

What the heck is going on at our colleges and universities? Teens and young adults on campuses across the country are usually open-minded and educated enough to know better than to belittle others, and open enough to accept differences. I am appalled by the groups that engage in fear, and are taking sides on the Israel – Hamas – Gaza war. It’s complicated. It’s war, and too many innocent people are being killed, and it’s absolutely horrible. There is pain everywhere. I think the only thing we can speak out against is the ruthless actions, the murders, and the kidnappings by the terrorist group Hamas. Beyond that, support humanitarian efforts, and pray that it ends somehow. Citizens of Israel and Palestine are good people, not deserving of any of this.

Also on college campuses, another mass shooting – this time in Las Vegas (home of the huge mass shooting at the country music concert.) Another reminder: we can NEVER accept this. NEVER…. And especially when we Americans have an ability to enact laws, and change minds so that victims have rights, not just gun owners.

Did you watch the Republican debate last night? Me neither. But, I do wonder if Nikki Haley can keep going and in a few months go toe to toe with Trump. I’d like to see that. I;m not a Republican but she would certainly be a better choice as the Republican candidate for our next president. She respects democracy. She respects democratic elections. She has relationships with foreign countries from her time at the UN. There is a lot I do not agree with, but she will not be the narcissistic, desperate bully that Trump is.

Some US congressmen and women are stating they are not going to run for office again. Even the short-lived Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy announced he is leaving. (Bye, bye.). So, another reminder: VOTE!! We will have open seats, and new options. Pay attention because this coming year will be big when it comes to who we vote into office to represent us.

Favorite Christmas season music? I’m hearing a lot of it right now and I really appreciate the live performances and talented musicians. Last Saturday I heard a live performance of the “Messiah” – Then Sunday I participated in a special music morning at a local church. This evening I am playing with the flute choir for a special event at an old, historical home in my town. Each room is decorated by local designers. I love all the usual carols for sure, but I also love the various genres out there performing them – from classical, to country. Tonight is a Country music Christmas special on TV.

Speaking of Christmas events, another big one is movie watching! Right? We all have our favorite holiday movies that are ‘must see’ films right now. For me it is definitely “White Christmas” and “Christmas Vacation.” I also love “4 Christmases.” And the Peanuts Charlie Brown special is a must!! Reminder: take time to enjoy your favorites.

Have you finished decorating and buying gifts? I’m pretty much done with both. I do my best to leave those items off my ‘stress list’ for Christmas. I’m wrapping now. I’m waiting for my cards to arrive to address them. You doing Christmas cards this year? I debate it every year but still send some, although the number that go out in the mail has dropped somewhat. It’s a dying tradition.

Reminder: You can’t do everything.

Do you bake? That is one thing I have never done much of – really at any time. Ha! I used to make a family tradition: Milheim sugar cookies. Maybe I will make some. Closer to Christmas to share with neighbors.

As many of you know I have become a fan of certain podcasts. One I listen to each week is called “The Political Gabfest” from Slate.com. I enjoy the guests, and topics of politics, always on the show. Today there was an author, Tim Alberta, who wrote a book titled “The Kingdom, the Power, and the Glory: American Evangelism in an age of Extremism.” Tim grew up a preacher’s son in an Evangelical church and as an adult became a reporter and writer. The discussion about the book with the podcasters David Plotz, Emily Bazelon, and John Dickerson, was really interesting. Reminder: order the book!

Time to end this. It’s time to stop writing, and to ‘do’ some things today!

Reminder: Whatever gets done is enough.

People say to me sometimes that they don’t see the sense of being involved on social media, especially Facebook. I know some are fearful that ‘big brother’ is watching through our cameras, or that they are listening in, and that a mystery organization is aware of our postings and buying habits.

Some of that might be true. But, I live an open book. I don’t have anything to hide. I’m careful enough with my social security number and with credit card numbers and I have never (yet) had anyone steal my numbers through social media. I’m not saying it may never happen.

But I don’t live in fear.

This time of year with Thanksgiving next week and Christmas next month, I really enjoy the positive posts I see on Facebook. Just this morning I saw a video about a local restaurant that prepares and serves free Thanksgiving meals downtown in my town. It touched me and I plan to drop off some cash later today to help out and to give my thanks to them. Had I not seen it on social media I would not have known.

I also see the thousands of Samaritan’s Purse boxes getting collected now, that will then be sent to big centers for packing up, and to send out to children around the world.

I read uplifting messages from a local group called “Good Friends of Georgetown County” who receive donations that then go to those who are temporarily in need of funds to get by.

I admire the group that has turned the local community garden into a thriving place that produces food for many and teaches children who come on field trips to experience it, to get their hands into the soil.

There are many many more.

Facebook makes me feel good about the goodness of others. Instagram does it also, but I see more positivity more on Facebook. More in-depth stories. Pictures of people making a difference.

Maybe it’s just me, but I love – and I think I need – to see the good posts. There is so much bad and sadness everywhere else. It helps to balance what is going on in the world.

I have always said that if you have a little time each week to do something good for someone else it comes right back to you. It’s amazing how that works. It’s not an ego thing. It’s a community feeling. It’s about knowing you are one part of making love happen in our world.

Social media is fun of course. I love seeing my friends’ pictures, especially of their families. I love getting updates. Perhaps I am just seeing the best of their times, but that’s okay with me. It makes me smile.

I love feeling connected. I definitely feel more connected with my family and friends who use Facebook and Instagram. It’s not being nosy. It’s being thankful – for knowing them. I’m interested in what they are doing. Occasionally, it’s offering a kind word when they need it. But most often it’s sharing in their good times. I use emojis and maybe too many exclamation marks in my comments to them!!! But, don’t we need cheerleading? Isn’t it a good thing to celebrate even our day to day normal life??

So, with thanksgiving next week, I am grateful for all the good acts I see on social media. I appreciate those who share their good times through posts and pictures because it lifts me up too. Please eep ‘em coming. The more I see the better. I think you know who you are, but there are a few girlfriends who live far away but I still feel close to you. I love that.

Thanks for sharing the good on social media.

This time of year, after Halloween, I see posts and memes on social media about when people think is the right time to put up Christmas trees and decorations.

Obviously it is up to the individual. I know people who do it early because they enjoy the lights. People get ‘itchy’ to do it because they go into stores and see everything up, and all the Christmas items are on the shelves for sale.

Time flies by. Too quickly.

I’m the type that tries to slow down time, and to enjoy each day, and not rush on to the next thing. By the way, the next thing is Thanksgiving.

So, I admit I get a feeling of sadness when I see the seasons and the holidays go by so quickly. I get a bit annoyed at the rush for Christmas.

There are two Christmases. The secular one with Santa and lots of glitz and too many parties. Then there is the religious Christmas. You know, the one with the baby Jesus born in a stable, who came into the world through a teenager named Mary. God’s son that came to earth to show us how to live, and to let us know the grace of God, and the hope for eternal life.

This morning I saw a meme about decorating for Christmas and I wondered how many Christians actually follow the church calendar and celebrate Advent first. Advent starts the church year off. It is four weeks of preparation for the arrival of the baby Jesus. I’m sure you have seen Advent calendars for sale (with chocolate behind each door). I grew up with them but they had written scripture telling the Christmas story behind each door. We also had an Advent wreath with 5 candles on it that was kept on our table and we lit a new candle each week. Each week brought more light, and then the special Christmas candle in the middle was lit on Christmas Day. The light of the world has arrived. It’s a tradition that is fading.

Christians are supposed to be different. We are meant to be examples of the teachings found in the Bible. We are to spread the Good News, and to follow the commandments and the B’attitudes. It’s hard to do at times. Right? It’s so easy to slip into the secular ways. Not that they are all bad. But they can be stressful. Expensive. Tiring.

I think that is why I feel weird about this time of year. The secular Christmas is so in my face already. The rush to do all the lights and to put up the trees early, and everything is already about Christmas – already.

Already.

I want Thanksgiving. I want to experience thanks and gratitude. I want to do one holiday at a time.

I want to acknowledge Advent. I’m a Christian that wants to use the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas to prepare. Not now. Not yet. I want to slow down. I want to wait and see the twinkling lights and feel the awe and joy closer to Christmas. I want to create that feeling then – not now.

Don’t get me wrong though. I am buying some gifts. I want to allow enough time for purchasing and shipping and wrapping. I am practicing Christmas music with my bandmates, handbells, and flute choir friends now. I do what I can to relieve the stress I usually feel once December arrives. Because, yes, time flies by.

That’s why it’s so important to me to not push it even more. I want to find the joy, and to live it at the right time. I want to always acknowledge that Christmas is about Christ.

So for me, Advent is not here yet. The time for Christmas preparation is not here yet. I’m not ready for it yet.

Seriously, what’s the rush???

When I heard about the death of Matthew Perry this weekend I felt so very sad, as millions of other “Friends” lovers did. We felt we knew Matthew’s character Chandler so well from watching and rewatching the 10 years of episodes.

Chandler was a very funny guy but as we got to know the character over time we came to know him as a loving and very sensitive guy too. The writers made Chandler, but Matthew said the role was ‘him.’ Chandler often covered up his feelings with humor. Matthew did too. He was really good at it.

I read Matthew Perry’s autobiography that came out last year. It was a very good read to try and understand how some people go through their whole life dealing with mental health issues. He struggled constantly with self esteem issues, and he was born with a very addictive gene. He reached for drugs and alcohol from a young age on. And, he tried and tried to get clean only to fall back into his addictive and abusive ways. He was in and out of rehab more times than anyone can imagine.

His death has not been listed as anything but an accidental drowning at this point. But, lots of prescription drugs for depression and anxiety were found in his home. He had hurt his body for years. The drugs and alcohol, vast weight changes, and even his colon bursting, all contributed to his demise, brought on but constant doubts, and disappointments, expectations, and more.

Matthew Perry struggled with his mental health all his life.

Last week we also heard about the mass shooting in Maine and that the mental health of the shooter was out of whack. He had been suffering for months (or more) and had been hospitalized for two weeks this past summer. People who knew him knew he was delusional and that he was speaking of possible violent acts.

We have a mental health epidemic in America. We don’t put enough emphasis on those in need until it can be too late. A person’s well being and their thoughts about themselves start early in childhood. We take babies and children for physical exams regularly but never have mental care checks. A traumatic event can also trigger mental health issues. We all live in a stressful day to day world of wanting to succeed, wanting to be loved, wanting to be liked, and wanting to live financially secure. We ALL have times of mental illness. Maybe not clinically. But in some degree we do – depending on the day.

Matthew Perry never acted out in ways that hurt others. He hurt himself. But some do lash out. Their brain tells them too – and it is really hard to understand why. But it happens. Every mass shooter has these feelings. And in the United States we see it happening every day.

Our mental heath is even more important than our physical health. Yet we still keep it hush hush and we attach stigmas to anyone we know who might be struggling. We want to ignore it. We want to pretend we are tough, and happy, and always in control.

The need for mental health care is still too often considered a weakness.

But seeking help is a strength. Care is available through counseling, therapy, and prescription drugs. But it costs money and it shouldn’t. And it should not be a political fight. But it is. I believe every person who wants help with their mental health should be able to get it. I also believe working on mental health should happen throughout each individual’s life, and that it will stop a lot of the other ills of America.

We need to stop thinking that it’s not my problem and that every man is in it for himself. Because – it’s not right. We live in communities, and what happens around us happens to us! Supporting anyone and everyone who seeks mental health care will better all our lives.

The only time I ever really hear people talk about the need for better mental health care is when they are blaming it for gun deaths. And it would certainly help for that. (I still strongly believe in the need for better, safer gun regulations too), But, it would also reduce road rage, and spousal abuse, bullying, and so much more.

Since we live in communities we have to care for all wh live in the communities. Speaking up, showing compassion, offering help, and voting for those who will make mental health free in our country. You can call it medical socialism if you like. I don’t care. I believe it’s an important path to a healthy democracy. It’s about healing the whole body and therefore having a better country.

Nothing is more important than taking care of our mental health. Nothing.