Hello to my readers. I don’t always know who you are but I appreciate you stopping by. These are my rambling thoughts…

First, babies are miracles!! Our family has a new one. Welcome Charlotte Amelia! I am so thankful that my daughter had a normal c-section delivery this time around. No long labor. No drama. No need for the baby to go into the ICU. Charlotte is perfect – with beautiful skin and lots of dark hair. I look forward to watching her grow and change, and to experience her little personality as she starts to express herself.

Grandchildren are so fun to watch! The twins are in a t-ball league this spring and games start next month. Hubby and I plan to travel there to watch them in their first ever season.

Madelynn turned 3 yesterday. She is a happy chatterbox now. I understand most of what she says, and I love interacting with her. She is a little sponge, and every day says something new.

Did you watch the Oscars Sunday night? There were quite a few funny and awesome moments. A high point for me was the “I’m just Ken” production number with “Mr. Cool” Ryan Gosling. Besides being very good looking, Ryan oozes coolness and talent. He is smooth and flawless. I also loved the Billie Elish number. And bravo to John Cena for his bravery. Even with that body of his, it was a bold moment!!

As for the movie winners, I agree that Oppenheimer deserved the big win. I watched it a few months ago and I think I want to watch it again to watch the amazing performances. Besides “Barbie” all the other big movies were pretty deep – and at times depressing.

Change of subject…

What is with Kate Middleton?? What is with all the secrecy about her medical condition? I think in general we need to be more open and honest, so the Royal Family not being forthright about Kate is just making the situation worse. And now a ‘retouched’ photograph has backfired on them.

Speaking of not being honest…. Ha. You know where I am going! The orange man and his followers continue to baffle me. Truly, how does he live with himself – and how do so many find him appealing, and feel he is worthy of being president? If his first four years weren’t scary enough to change minds, then nothing will I guess. But this next time could be much worse if somehow (God help us) he is elected. If he isn’t, let me say it now: he will say the election was stolen – again. We will have months of denial, and perhaps more violence, and more indictments, and on and on. Can he please just go away? I don’t want anything evil to happen to him, but I wish he would stop messing with our country. He has done enough damage.

We are getting the exterior of our house painted right now. Bye bye brown – and hello lighter and brighter. I’m hoping for a Joanna Gaines style look. To be continued.

Spring has arrived here! Oh, the azaleas are about to burst everywhere! Color is coming!! This is a favorite time of year as I watch all my perennials push through the ground and grow bigger and taller each day. The sun is warming up the ground and I truly see growth by the hour!

Also, this time of year is the start of live music concerts! I’m waiting because any day now the CMA Festival line-up will be announced. The festival is in June. All the artists are amazing but I do have some favorites that I like to see perform every time. Keith Urban is always there – and he is always amazing!! Always! I love seeing Thomas Rhett, the Brothers Osborne, and others who appear there often. But, it’s also some of the older country artists and the surprise performers that make the event extra special. Of course I want to see Tim McGraw, but even if he doesn’t perform at the CMA Fest this summer, I have tickets to three of his shows – in Philadelphia, Raleigh, and Charlotte. I call it my Tim ‘mini-tour.’

I posted separately about this, but the governor of my state, South Carolina, signed a law last week that immediately went into effect: now gun owners can openly carry a gun. They can also carry concealed if preferred. They do not need a special permit. A police officer can not stop any person carrying without another reason or cause. So, in South Carolina now a person can walk around with a gun on his hip or in a shoulder holster, loaded!! So, a person can use the look of a gun to threaten, to act tough, and to terrorize. One hot-headed moment can cause a tragedy. One bully situation can cause a tragedy. Even one frightening moment can cause tragedy. Shoot first, think later. As a citizen of this state I feel that my safety is now jeopardized. I do not believe that more guns, and seeing guns on people, is better. In fact I feel the opposite. Thankfully gun carriers still can not legally bring them into schools, and some other places. But the old days of the ‘wild west’ has come here. Tough cowboys looking to bring their own justice. It is very scary.

I live in a very red, conservative state. I know. You might say if you don’t like all the gun freedom, and the lack of freedom given women, and other issues – just move. I do get quite frustrated living here for sure. But, the beauty of nature, and the wonderful climate here, and the proximity to my children and grandchildren, are very desirable. No place is Eden. No place has everything good, or people who see things the same. I feel like I need to give my perspective, my opinion here.

If you are still reading you surely see that.

I come across people in this state who I feel wear blinders. These are people content because ‘it has always been that way.’ ‘My parents raised me this way.’ Yes. Change is scary at times. Learning new thoughts and looking at life differently is difficult. Nobody likes to be forced to do it. Nobody likes to widen their worlds. Politicians are very aware of this mindset and they use it. Dark social media is flourishing due to it.

I live as an open book. I have nothing to hide. Clean living. No regrets. No fear. I don’t mind saying anything in my musing posts. I don’t believe in conspiracy theories. I try to see the good in all people. And I know people are complicated – affected by their pasts. Feeling less than. Or feeling they weren’t given a fair deal.

I believe that lifting others lifts us all. I believe life should not be a competition and we do not have to have losers to have winners. No! And, I believe in turning eyes out, and not worrying about me, me, me.

Ego and narcissists are destroying us. Not wanting immigrants to get a new life. Not wanting other children to get a wonderful education. Not willing to pay for good medical care for everyone. Basics of life we should want for all.

At my age I wonder what my mission is, and what God expects of me… and years ago when I started writing these posts I put thoughts down I didn’t really know where it would all go. But I have been posting“Marla’s Musings” for years now. It’s one of my legacies – to leave behind. These writings will float around the internet past my time on earth.

What if YOU did the same thing? Would you be free in your writing? Would you rethink your lifestyle? Your hopes and dreams? Would you write about issues that will stand the test of time? Will you be humbly proud of who you are?

It’s a great exercise to do. My ‘This and That” went from light to serious. Sometimes you just don’t know! Ha. Marla’ Musings can be all over the place!?!!

All morning I have been glued to my computer because this morning I became a grandmother again! Daughter Kristen and her hubby Jeff had a beautiful perfect little girl.

While I have been waiting for news, and pictures and videos, I have been hanging on my computer – and I have also been watching CNN reviewing the results of “Super Tuesday.”

You now can see why it is I titled this post “The good news and the bad news.”

What a relief and a blessing to know both mama and baby are fine and to see some pictures to prove it. Thank you to the daddy for keeping me in the loop. I can’t wait to get there and to see them for myself, along with the big sister.

As I feel the warmth inside of me of this new life, and I thank God for the beauty of it all, I smile and I think back on the years when I was a new mother. Those first days were and are so meaningful – scary, amazing, and really all kinds of emotions wrapped up together.

Of course the opposing feelings are blasted at me on the TV as I see the primary results from 16 states and see that Trump won the Republican ones without exception. I feel incredibly sad, and confused, and wonder why so many in our country support such a terrible person. I don’t say it lightly. I really feel a heaviness about humanity.

One part of me is so hopeful about the future this morning because a new life has come to join our family, and I can’t wait to watch her grow up.

One part of me is truly scared about our future because we have allowed a demoralizing, selfish, careless, criminal man to run for the highest office in our country. And he is not hiding who he is. And it doesn’t seem to matter to people.

On this day that is both so very good and so bad, I feel strong in my faith that God creates, and brings love through this new child. I also feel my faith falter as I wonder how so many accept Trump as their leader. They proclaim they are doing it because they are Christians, but
I believe the followers of Christ Jesus should be looking to find a more humble servant, and want an honest and ethical man, a man who wants to protect, someone who will work for all but especially those in need, and one who will work towards unity and peace. It isn’t him.

All I can say is ….. hold on! It’s gonna be a wild ride.

Life has incredibly good days and some really difficult bad days. And sometimes it happens all on the same day!

For me – today is one of those days.

It is March 1st and the beginning of Women’s Month. All of March is a month dedicated to half of our population. It seems a bit odd, doesn’t it?

I did a bit of research about the beginning of the designation and why it was created. It is not a surprise to me that President Jimmy Carter proclaimed the first one in the U.S., in 1980. After the rise of vocal feminist groups of the 70’s it became apparent that women were often overlooked, and it was time to celebrate those who were courageous and who helped build a fairer, more just, society.

Since then every president has issued a proclamation to make March “Women’s Month” and I posted President Biden’s most recent one, for this Women’s Month, on Facebook.

I was born with an ‘independent gene.’ That’s the only explanation I have for always having the feeling that I can take care of myself, and that I am a strong woman. I have never doubted that I am. I come from a normal, middle American family, and I had a mother who was happy in her role as wife and mother. She was a good role model for being that – and I know as the saying goes that I have turned into my mother in many ways. I appreciate that she took the role seriously. She grew up at a time when not all women went off to college, or drove, or worked and lived alone (If they did they were called a spinster.)

When I went off to college I never feared my future. I knew I would be okay, even though I wasn’t set on where my life would take me. That ‘independent gene’ I have gave me plenty of confidence to go for a job, to take care of my bills, to do the right things to get ahead.

Not every woman has the gene, or has the circumstances that I had, and I know they struggle to live a safe, contented life. Even still today. Some women have never been told that they are important, or as good as anybody else, and that they deserve the same equal lifestyle. Thankfully, back in the 1960’s and 1970’s a group of very strong women spoke out for all women. We can never thank Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, Bella Abzug, and others, enough for they did not fear speaking out and they used politics to work for women’s rights.

In doing my research on Women’s Month I read about other females who fought for all women, so many throughout the years, all the way up the recent “MeToo” movement from just a few years ago.

At this point you might be asking, if there is a women’s month, then why isn’t there a men’s month? Well – Men had the power throughout time. History was written by men. Therefore women were often omitted, left behind, given less, and kept pigeon-holed. Some roles and jobs were out of bounds for women.

It took suffragettes and the feminists of the 60s and 70s to stop that cycle. Women had to earn the vote, and they had to work to get equal status (and they are still working on it). Young women today don’t always realize what their grandmothers and great-grandmothers before them had – and didn’t have. The women’s movement is still ‘fresh’ in terms of time, and there are still some men (older ones especially) who fight against it.

I also posted on Facebook this morning a list of today’s women who are being celebrated for their accomplishments. A few names are known, but many are not. I was taken back by how a large percentage of them started non-profits and companies that help others. It’s an interesting list of women of all backgrounds, colors, and geographical locations. Take a look.

Women today are in a place that offers so much more in opportunities, and choices. And a lot of women before them struggled and never gave up to get them here, to this place for us all. But there is a conservative group, small in numbers but loud and disruptive, who is trying to take away some of women’s important rights. We have seen what happened to the abortion freedom in this country. Unbelievable. But it happened. It is scary for all women. Women have come too far to go backwards.

So this month, this Women’s Month, make a point to do the following…

Appreciate other women.

Support freedom of choice.

Promote causes that help women.

Use your voice and your vote.

Every community has charities that give to women’s causes…. For young mothers, for single mothers, for women needing career clothing, for women needing affordable childcare, for birth control and medical assistance, for education, and for housing.

This is a good month to pause, to think of other women and their needs, and to help.

“I raise up my voice – not so that I can shout, but so that those without a voice can be heard. We cannot all succeed when half of us are held back.” – Malala Yousafzai

The results of the South Carolina Republican primary that happened yesterday was not a total surprise. Donald Trump ‘won’ it with some 60% of the total votes. That means Nikki Haley got 40%.

Listening to the media you would think it was a huge blowout for Trump, but it wasn’t really. Think about it. Of every 10 votes, 6 went with Trump and 4 went will Haley. In other types of contests one would think that’s kinda close.

The primary system is weird. It’s supposed to be a way for party members to vote for the candidate they prefer, and have one name picked by convention time, and then for Election Day in November. Lately it is a ‘do or die’ situation after just 3 or 4 state primaries. That’s not fair. It is not fair for a candidate who is receiving 40% of votes.

of course, the big problem is all the money that it takes to campaign, and how candidates have to lure big donors who are willing to keep their campaign alive – by paying for travel, hotels, signs, flyers, etc. It all take so much money.

I was listening to an NPR program this morning that said Nikki Haley still has money. So, she should keep on going. There is still plenty of time for things to change. Change? I don’t mean to be morbid but something might happen to Trump before convention time. He could continue to be found guilty in the various court cases against him. He could get very sick – or, yes, even die. He is old – and he is out of shape. We don’t really know what will happen in the coming months, so why not continue to let Haley state her case – and to continue to campaign?

I live in South Carolina and Haley was my governor for two terms. The people of the state liked her. Even as a Democrat I saw some good things she did here, like bring big corporations and business to the state. They brought jobs. They brought money into the area.

I continue to be dumbfounded why Trump has such a hold on people in my state and around the country. Seriously, WHY? I don’t hear answers that make any sense to me especially when there is a more even keeled, kinder person to consider. Haley has run a state – and she represented the country in the UN. She has many of the same Republican platform stances.

What is it about Trump? What do you like? Is it his brashness? His ego? Do you like how he speaks to others? Do you want him because you think he will change the border? Have you forgotten he already had 4 years to try and build that wall and he did not get done?

The economy is better. Even with a ‘do nothing’ Congress we have low unemployment numbers. Yes, we need to raise the minimum wage, and we need to focus on the return of a middle class. So, even for those who don’t want to give ‘free gifts’ to the poor in America (because that is what Dems do, right?) at least vote for a Republican with a track record of being for business and employees.

There is only one thing that Trump is a master of: deception. He has somehow (I see right through him) fooled many, and lied and lied and lied. He got some media sources to lie for him too.

I wonder if people really stop and think about what another Trump presidency would be like. A man unhinged. Mean. Vindictive. A man who cares only about himself. ONLY!!! A criminal. A man willing to do anything legal or illegal for his own glory.

The Republican choice. It doesn’t seem so hard to see.

I’m a Democrat and I want the Republican party to get their act together, to get back to solid party values, and to pick a candidate that if elected will actually work for our country.

Nikki Haley, I am sorry that you did not win in South Carolina yesterday. But 40% is okay. Keep going. Keep staying true to you. This is how democracy is supposed to work.

I had a revelation just now. I was scanning my Facebook feed, reading some posts for women about finding your tribe, and reading about how we need to support each other, and that happiness comes when you are understood and can laugh.

Here is my ‘a ha moment’: I struggle with finding my tribe. I do a lot of activities each week, and I am around many people daily. I see the same ones over and over BUT I don’t consider them to be ‘like me.’ We share common interests but we do NOT speak deeply about life, issues, and hopes.

Part of this circumstance is because of where I live. Part of it is that we live in such a hyper-sensitive time about beliefs and politics. Sometimes I feel the people I run into are not deep thinkers. Shallow. But, also, some avoid expressing an opinion in fear of a push back. They prefer to stay quiet.

Thinking of girlfriends, I can think of only 2 that I talk with that think like me. Only 2. Only 2 get me. Sometimes on Facebook I notice that someone will give a thumbs up on one of my posts. But, usually, I have about 5 or 6 Facebook ‘friends’ who are willing to respond at all. And those who respond I have not seen for years, or even have met in person. We are apart geographically but close in our way of looking at life.

I really appreciate them. They keep me sane at times. They help me realize I am not alone. Some days I really need that.

The idea of having a tribe is a woman thing. Women from an early age ‘play’ with girls who like the same things. By young adulthood they cling to important women friends to help get through college, through dating, then independent living, and a strong bond forms – and you just know. They are there for you. You can say anything and they still love you and a late night conversation with wine is a blessing.

I won’t name other names, but my bestie Sue is one of my 2. We started back in college and we have gone through all the stages of growth together. We have never had a major difference of opinion, because we just see the world the same. When we get together, which is too rare, we talk nonstop about everything! No topic is off limits. We can sit for hours and let it out. It’s therapeutic.

At this point of my life, yes – in my older years – I don’t run across women who want to hang and ‘really talk.’ I guess lately I have been frustrated about it. Saddened. And, maybe that is why sometimes I prefer hanging with younger women. They talk about interesting things!!

Aging for me has made me more of an activist. Time has given me the opportunity to educate myself more – to be up on the news, to read more, to have an opinion based on that.

But I can’t find a tribe who is the same.

Yay! It’s a new day – and a new month! One day closer to Spring!

I live in an area where Springtime comes early. Already my spring bulbs are pushing up stems and growing every day. I watch the progress. I love to see new life come forth, and soon I will see daffodils, hyacinths, and iris blooms! 💐

To prepare I have been cutting out the old, and clearing space for new growth. Soon I will work the soil and fertilize all my plants.

February brings special days. Valentine’s Day of course. The day all about love. ❤️. We also have Presidents Day, the day when we remember how we used to honor and respect our leaders. Remember Washington? Lincoln? Famous ones for sure. I admire many other presidents too. For me I think of President Carter and President Obama.

This year is a Leap Year and so February has an extra day. Did you know this? Every four years an extra day is stuck on to the end of February – and there is a good reason for it, but I admit I need to google and relearn why. I know it has something to do with clocks. Ha.

I think I wold prefer an extra day stuck on to June. I’d go for another day of warm weather and lots of daylight! ☀️

February is Black History Month. It’s the time designated each year to be reminded, and to learn about how the forefathers didn’t write black equality into the Constitution. Different times. Horrible and inhumane times. Black Americans are still working towards equality. We have made some good steps towards it, but there is no doubt in my mind that we move forward, and then backwards, and it’s a long walk to get to a time when color won’t matter in education, medical care, employment opportunity, and housing rights.

Black History Month also honors those who have led the way towards equality. Rep. Lewis is a hero of mine. There were many amazing African Americans left out of school textbooks. It’s important to read about them on your own. 📚

February is Super Bowl month! I remember when the big game happened at the end of January. But, football season dates have changed and now all the hoopla has moved it back a couple of Sundays. It’s The Kansas City Chiefs vs. the San Francisco 49er’s. The Chiefs have a mini-dynasty happening. The 49ers haven’t won a Super Bowl since the days of Joe Montana and Steve Young. Quarterbacks usually make a big difference in the BIG game. The 49ers have a young one in Brock Purdy. The Chiefs have the superstar Patrick Mahomes. 🏈

I am looking forward to Reba singing the National Anthem and for Usher doing his thing at halftime. I love both artists! They are very different – both are awesome in their talent. Side note: I once went to see Usher play the part of Billy Flynn in “Chicago” on Broadway. I stood by the stage door to watch him enter that day. I’m a fan! 🎶

Lastly, February brings me closer to meeting my new granddaughter. She is due in early March. I can’t wait! I pray for a safe and easy entrance into the world – for my daughter and for her. I am a blessed Mimi, and I know it. I used to get the winter blues but not much anymore. Every day brings joy. 💖

I hope it does the same for you.

I am home for a few days and I have these thoughts running around in my head…

Pro football is at it’s very best right now and it helps me get through the cold days of January. This past weekend hubby and I watched 4 good games, and I made some chili yesterday. There is nothing like watching cold fans in the stands, from the warmth of my living room with a hot bowl of chili with cheese and sour cream on top!

Taylor Swift handles fame and all the attention in a pretty amazing way! I am in awe of how she goes on, acts herself, and seems to enjoy life. I said this before, but I think she and Travis are a good match: both are celebrities, excellent in their fields, they entertain, and they work hard and always want to do a wonderful job. Both love family. Both seem grounded in a crazy world of social media saying whatever they want to say. Keep going TayTay and Trav!

DeSantis just dropped out of the race for the Republican nominee for president. He has captured the news almost as much as Trump, and he has had wacko ideas just like Trump. (Book banning, Disney hate, LBGTQ hate, and more) Bye. Bye. Think of all the money he spent spewing his ideas across the country and especially in Iowa. What a waste. We sure need to change the political primary system.

My old, blind, hard of hearing, diabetic pug is still hanging in there. I can’t help but wonder about her quality of life. Obviously her favorite sense now is touch. I have noticed her sense of smell has definitely been important and seems increased at this point in her life. She can smell any food I try to eat (sneak) near her. And, sometimes I think she is sound asleep but she smells me tiptoe by and cries. She also sometimes wakes up from a nap on the couch, realizing she is alone and cries. Sad.

The past two days have been frigid for South Carolina. It’s enough cold weather for me. I could never live in a cold climate without getting depressed, and feeling listless. That’s just me. I need warmth and sunshine. It’s coming back tomorrow. Yay!

I have read some weird books lately. I struggle to finish them but I don’t like stopping part way through and calling it a lost cause. I am reading “A Little Life” by Hanna Yanaghara. Oh my! Deep. Depressing. Sad. I am thinking of skipping to the last chapter to see how it ends, so I can move on. Again, it’s not my normal way of reading – but I have a stack of other books that I want to get started on, and I hate wasting the time.

CoVid. Some of my friends have had it again this winter. As something that is still relatively new in terms of illnesses that effect us, still I worry. Some people seem to breeze through it. I have stayed current on the boosters and I have been okay, knock on wood. But I also know of a few people who keep getting bouts of it, and it can really take it’s toll. A friend’s husband just took his own life last week after being diagnosed with his 3rd bout in a row. CoVid effects people in many different ways, and we really don’t know all that much about it yet. Maybe we will in ten years. Maybe inoculations and meds will be better by then. But for now, CoVid is still scary. Don’t dismiss it.

Wrinkles. Ugh. Mine are getting bad. I’d love to hear from ladies my age on what they smear on their face to help fight them.

Trump – he is becoming delusional on top of everything else. He has always been a racist and a narcissist but now he is confused and seems like he is mentally weaker than he used to be. It still amazes me that people actually believe in him.

Things to believe in: Children. Music. Nature.

Keep life balanced with seeing the beauty and the good in all these things. Children. Music. Nature: these three make the world go round. They give us a look at all that we want to be. They remind us of what is not important to worry about too. Hang with children. Listen to music. Spend time in nature.

This has been an interesting month so far. Usually January is quiet, especially after the hoopla and travels in December. January is a time to put away Christmas decorations, to clean the house, to spend time reading, and re-energizing for the new year.

But, this year is different.

My daughter’s twin sons are in kindergarten, and their school is on a year-round schedule. They are in the Wake County, NC public school system. They do not take off 3 months in summer, but instead get 3 week breaks at various times throughout the year. It’s called ‘tracking’ in and out. One break is going on right now.

The idea, which is backed up with data, is that shorter breaks are better for children because they don’t forget what they have recently learned, and they don’t have to ‘get up to speed’ again. For teachers, there is not the need to do weeks of review. It makes sense.

But, it is a challenge for parents with kids in this year-round ‘tracking’ program. Because: Parents still need to work.

So, Mimi to the rescue.

I am finishing up two weeks of taking ‘day duty’ with the twins to keep them safe, fed, and in a routine. Well, okay, maybe not a normal routine because I.am.Mimi!! We have had trips out for lunch, and for ice cream, and we have gone to a movie, and to a putt putt indoor park, and to a big interactive play place. We have played board games and charades. We have watched gaming videos (Mario is their favorite!), and other movies at home. It’s been chilly out but with one week to go I hope we can spend some time outdoors, either in the backyard or at a park. If not we will see another movie – and find something interesting to explore.

I come home on the weekends. I’m here now. So, I can catch up, see my hubby and the pets, and get a few things done around the house.

I wouldn’t have it any other way because I know the time with the boys is precious, and it won’t last forever. They are growing up so fast! And, for now, I am blessed to have good health and I can handle what all that we do together.

But, here’s one thing I have noticed: The news and the events of our country and the world have taken a backseat. Or, maybe it’s a more balanced place in my life. When I am with the boys I am not watching TV News. I remember when I was raising my daughters that I did not have the time to keep up closely with the news. But, I could tell you all the Sesame Street character names, and I knew all the Gymboree songs. Today, I am getting an education on all the super hero names, and every Mario character – and there are a lot of them!

Children keep an adult’s life balanced – and more aware of trends, and accepting of new things and change. And, they just make you laugh a lot too! They bring light into a sometimes dull day.

I know I am partial to my own grandchildren but it is amazing to watch them learn new things, and I love how inquisitive they are, even about things we adults take for granted. These years are priceless.

I remember when my girls were little and my mother-in-law would say “I could just eat them up” (a very southern expression), and she meant that she loved every moment, and always wanted to know everything about them. When my daughters did something wonderful, or funny, or even wrong, I could tell her – and she wanted to hear it…. Because she loved them like hubby and I did (and do.) I hope I am that same way now to my grown daughters’ children. I love getting all the videos, and FaceTiming, and spending real time together. It’s never too much. If I get tired it’s a ‘good tired.’

I am blessed (lucky) that I am a grandmother (Mimi!) and get to be involved. It’s the best. I also am thankful that the activities that I love to do, that are away from family, understand me and this time in my life. I love being part of music groups, and my dance class, and my amazing quilting team of ladies. I look forward to being back with them all in another week.

Til then I am busy with two little 6 year old boys.

We are coming to the end of 2023 so it is the time to think about whether or not to make New Year’s resolutions. A lot of people make them, but few stick.

Before starting today’s post I went back to what I wrote in my musings here a year ago. I wanted to see if what I wrote then was accomplished, and if I wanted to maybe ‘re-resolve” a few this year. Reading the post back I realized that most of my resolutions also require a confession. I first have to admit that I am not happy with something I do or do not do, and that I want to better myself in the coming new year.

So first comes a confession – then a statement of hope for a resolution.

Here are a few of mine:

I confess that I judge people by how they live. More precisely I judge them by how they keep their yard and their surroundings. Since I have moved ‘out into a rural area’ where there are no homeowner association rules, and people don’t have to answer to anyone about what they keep and where they keep it, I judge. I ask ‘why don’t they see how junky everything looks? Why don’t they clean up their yards?’ I immediately go there – without knowing anything about who lives there. When I actually stop and think about it, I know there must be a lot of reasons: perhaps poor health or a disability, or lack of funds to pay for a garbage service, or no vehicle to haul junk away. Also, there might be mental health issues due to no job opportunity, or depression.

“Stuff” is a big issue in America. That is why we keep building more and more long term storage facilities. Where I live thy are popping up all over the place. I am a visual person. Just as I dislike junky yards, I dislike rows of storage buildings. We are a relatively new country, and I wonder WHY we have so much stuff everywhere?? Old, broken down stuff. When did Americans become such hoarders?

My resolution is to stop myself and to be more compassionate about what I see. But, also to do something about it. I can help with funding clean up projects and mental health organizations. I can clean up MY surroundings. I enjoy keeping my yard looking nice, but I can go beyond and clean other areas too. I used to take a trash bag from time to time and pick up trash along the road – and I can resolve to make the effort again, and more often.

I confess that I am still searching for a faith home, and I wince when I think about it. I have felt let down, disappointed, and just unsure which direction to turn. For a good part of my life I enjoyed a wonderful fellowship with others in the churches I attended. I felt we were family, and there was a deep commitment to each other.

My resolution is not to find that same church feeling again. It is to make sure I continue to grow my faith, through attendance at various worship services, to reach out to religious organizations that really do make a difference, and to try and accept the various types of worship experiences out there.

I am slowly accepting that being a Christian is different now then it used to be. It has become a hot topic, and a Christian is a misunderstood person due to politics and the fringe groups. The saddest part is that Christians have become so very divisive when that goes against the core teachings of Jesus. I have seen the hypocrisy for myself and I therefore understand how younger people don’t want to be a part of any of it.

I confess that as I age I worry about my coming years, and I worry about my husband’s too. When did we get here? Where did the years go?

I resolve to stay active for as long as I can, to have a young mindset, and to live in the moment since tomorrow is unsure. It’s not just cliche anymore. I will ‘think young – and accept change’ as long as possible.

I confess that I do not enjoy nature enough. Getting out in nature will help my above confession about aging. I live on a river and rarely get ‘close up’ to it and enjoy the beauty it offers.

My resolution is to walk down the dock at least every other day and enjoying the creatures, the birds, the water fowl, turtles, and the breezes, the warmth of the sun, and more.

Confessions are found regularly in silent prayer, and sometimes in our courtrooms. Confessing can clean the soul, and it can keep a person humble. We all do wrong, or we do nothing, and then we try NOT to think about it. Or hide it. Even worse, lie about it. But, taking the time to confess is important – and it’s how we come to repent and then work on personal resolutions.

Will you make a New Year’s resolution or two in the coming days? If so, will you first confess that you need to do better?

I suppose every resolution comes from that.

Yes, as my dad always says “Chronology is inexorable.” Time marches on. Another day by, and another year by…. And they seem to go quickly.

I like to write a post on my birthday because it causes me to stop time for a moment, to look back, and to think about what might be ahead. A birthday is a ‘marker’ of time.

Today is mine.

Thinking back, when I was a teenager I thought anyone in their late 60’s was really, really old. And, of course back then it seemed so far away. Truly as a teenager I thought 40 seemed old. So, as I sit here at the my present age, way beyond 40, I have several thoughts…

First, I think I am hanging in there pretty well. Physically and mentally. I don’t know how much longer I can sustain being well but I hope it’s for many more years. I know one accident, or one medical event, can change everything. So, I am immensely thankful for being here – in this body and still using my brain. I was born with good genes (thank you mom and dad) and I have a hubby that has stressed, and occasionally pushed me, on how important physical activity is. I’m a person of ‘moderation’ and it has served me well to this point.

I found line dancing 2 years ago and it has been a wonderful way to do something aerobic, to use the brain (what step comes next?), and to be uplifted by great music and friendships.

I have continued my push to always be reading. I caught the bug back when my daughters were in high school and I was the ‘taxi mom,’ and I always had a book in the car. It helped pass the time during their music lessons and such, but it also opened my mind to different people, different times, and different lands.

As I have aged I have also found music – and for me, really music is the icing on the cake of life. Music makes it all sweeter. I love attending concerts, and I am constantly in awe of the talent of musicians. I play just enough to know how hard it can be and how ‘gifted’ the best are to be able to touch my soul. I have never gone to a Broadway musical, or a country music concert, or a musical worship service, without feeling a sense of awe. Music reaches in – and emotes. It is not an extra in my world – it is essential to my happiness.

I am also so thankful for my ever-growing family!! The year ahead for me will bring another granddaughter – and how lucky and blessed I am! I decided long ago that I was going to be a vey active grandparent because those little ones bring such joy!! And, as I know, time marches on – and they don’t stay little for long. Now is the time to spend it with them.

I’m also thankful for my core group: hubby, my daughters and their spouses, and my bestie. They are stuck with me! For better or worse. During all the times of life.

Turning another year older is a time to wonder about the future too. Will I make a difference in this world? Once I’m gone will people speak well of me? How can I at this age do something, big or small, to better a situation? To help someone in need? To give back for all my blessings?

I am a Christian, and a believer in the love and grace of Jesus Christ. I know heaven is not earned, but God wants me to be a disciple, and to reach out to help when I can. It is a response to all He has created. I have taken that to heart all my life. I certainly have not done as much I could and I have let ego get in the way, etc. but years ago, when wondering what my purpose on earth was, I knew it was to live as an example of the love and the hope of God. My faith is strong, although recents years have left me questioning some things. But questioning is good. It’s how I come to a higher understanding.

At this age, with young grandchildren, I worry about these times – and what will come next. There is so much hate, dis-information, division, and confusion out there. But, I also know enough about history to see humanity has gotten through some pretty tough times in the past. I still remain an optimist – even though I want to shake some people sometimes!!

Birthdays are kind of like a personal “New Year’s Day” so I think about any resolutions I may make. I don’t strive for a better life – because I’ve really got the best one already. So, I will work on continuing to be a grateful person, to accept and see the good in all people (not easy on some days), and to be kind. As I have aged I have become less judgmental, and I am not vindictive. You can call me out when I fail.

I enjoy a good discussion. I enjoy some wine sitting on my screened porch. I realize that often simpler is better. Less stress is wonderful. Nothing is permanent. Life goes on.

Birthdays are a yearly reminder of that.