Well, May just flew by! Didn’t it?

I can’t believe how quickly the passage of time can go sometimes. Although, when I look back on this month we had some pretty important milestone events, some sad and happy times, and some transititioning.

Within the month we mourned the loss of Stan’s sister Linda, who went downhill quickly as her body succumbed to pancreatic cancer. We celebrated her life with family and friends together. Linda was the oldest sibling, and the first of ‘our generation’ to leave us. That’s a bit daunting. She had a tough life in many ways but she combatted it with so much love for her family, and in finding a way through it all with humor.

At the same time, the same weekend of saying goodbye to Linda, I also said hello to a group of lady-friends whom I have known since college days. They came down to the beach for a weekend gathering. Some of these ladies actually know each other from all the way back to elementary school, and they have kept a connection for 40 some years. It’s pretty impressive! I met this lovely group when I got to know my bestie Sue in college, and she and I became apartment mates in our ‘early 20’s years.’ Through Sue the girls included me on lots of get-togethers. I have felt lucky to follow along with them on their life journeys, all a little different but good.

Another transition, a happy one, was seeing my grandsons (the twins) graduate from preschool. Back in my day we didn’t even have preschool, let alone make a big deal of ‘moving up’ – but it’s kind of nice to celebrate the progressions and growth along the way. It was a sweet graduation with the children singing a few songs in front of the parents, siblings, and grandparents in attendance. Each one got a certificate of completion, rolled up like a diploma. Of course this experience was all brand new for them. It was the first time (of many to come) of standing up in front of people as a group performing, etc. I look forward to many more of these days – of school concerts and sports events, more special events and graduations. The boys start kindergarten at the end of July because they live in a county with a year round school program, which has the vacation weeks spread out. I will have to learn when they will have some breaks.

May also always brings hubby & my wedding anniversary. This one: 39 years! Again, time goes by so quickly, doesn’t it?? ! But, thankfully, I still have a pretty good memory and I can recount, and re-live, many of our experiences together through the years. We knew of each other before dating, but once we started dating we got engaged and married quickly. In fact, we got engaged at the beginning of November ’83 and married in May ’84. Putting a wedding together these days seems to take a whole lot longer. In the Fall of that year hubby took a new job that took us across the country to northern California. Out to rodeo country. Hot, dry valley heat. Brown hills (they were not ‘golden’.) Both our daughters were born out there. West Coast girls. We enjoyed living out there but we were also very happy to head back east (which felt more like home) and we first lived in the Atlanta area. Job changes kept us moving – up to Frederick, Maryland – and then to Sparta, New Jersey. We lived there, in northern NJ, for 12 years, enough years for our daughters to stay in one town and one school system the whole way through. That was a blessing for them. More of a challenge for me. Oh the cold and snow!! Oh the jughandles that confused me when I drove! I don’t now why but I felt on ‘survival mode’ there a lot. I didn’t feel comfortable, but when 9/11 happened so close to us I was ready to haul my ‘you know what’ out of there! South Carolina has been home since then and it’s hard to believe we have been here 18 years. I think we are finally ‘put’ and don’t plan on anymore moves. I once counted and we have lived in 10 homes over the 39 years. 6 states.

May finished with Memorial Day weekend which was a washout here in South Carolina. Rain, rain, rain. Cool temperatures. It was not normal, but then again, aren’t we learning that nothing is normal anymore? I felt bad for so many who came on vacations here, who rented ocean condos, who wanted to enjoy the beautiful beaches. It wasn’t happening. And, I felt bad for the locals who cater to them. Hopefully restaurants and the bars were not affected. May is a month with two different biker weeks here – and one week was very nice. This past one was not.

So – on to June!

It will probably fly by too. Summer months do.

We have the CMA Festival in Nashville in just one week! It’s the 50th year and I am hoping for some surprises. But regardless, here I come!! It’s also the birth month for our daughters.

One last thing: this weekend is “Wear Orange” to end gun violence. All around the country there will be events and gatherings and this is an opportunity for YOU to let your voice be heard. Wear orange. Attend a peaceful demonstration. Just google it and find one near you. Here in Myrtle Beach there are three events. One also in Awedaw. I plan to attend the one at 600 Mr. Joe White Blvd. Sunday at 3:00pm. Want to join me? There will be safety and health information, live music, children’s activities, food and treats, and more.

June is summer in full swing. Long daylight hours. Enjoying warm evenings. A change of pace.

I think most Mother’s Days I write a musing. It’s a good day to stop and think about my own mother, and my grown daughters who are mothers, and all the women around the world who are mothers. Here is my 2023 look at them.

First, I have to say, somehow I was extremely lucky/blessed to have been born into a family with a mother who truly fit the bill: she was devoted to her children, and she was a kind, and caring woman, an okay cook (ha – I loved some of her special meals), She sacrificed for the three of us at times. She put in hard work without complaining. When I think of her I picture her in our finished basement, ironing clothes in front of the TV. Back then everything needed to be ironed. I also think about all the prep work she did to get us ready for our camping vacations. I think about her as the perfect pastor’s wife, and teaching Sunday school and Vacation Bible School. Singing in the choir – she had a lovely voice. As third of us three I don’t ever remember having a disagreement or yelling match with my mother, and for that I can thank my sister who paved the way. Ha Mom loved her role as wife and mother, and I don’t think she ever had regrets about being the woman she was. I don’t remember hearing she and my dad fight but I am sure on occasion there must have been disagreements. Every marriage has them. Generally, though, I grew up in a very harmonious home. Not much yelling. I never ever doubted I was wanted.

I have followed in her footsteps in the same way. It’s funny how you do turn out to be like your mother as the expression goes. I didn’t have to work as hard with the daily tasks thanks to more modern technology, but as my mother, I have always put family life first. I live my home life now like she did. I thank her for being the role model she was to me.

So many women are not so lucky.

And I guess that’s where this musing turns now: to all the women out there, all who are mothers, who don’t have the blessings I had – and the ability to make choices. Many mothers don’t have a supportive husband and the comfort of basic needs. Here in America, at our southern border, in war-torn Ukraine, and all around the globe, mothers are hanging on – to their child, to their hopes, to whatever they can to make life better. They are mothers that don’t give up but still deal with a lot of pain and uncertainty.

There is a connection with all mothers. Once you become one you are part of ‘the group’ — the sisterhood of women who understand both the joys and challenges of raising children. The love of them is greater than anything else. So, it’s hard not to think about ALL mothers on “Mother’s Day.” Some are feeling love today, getting flowers, and going out for a nice buffet lunch. They deserve it. But, others are not getting special treatment. And, then there is the silent group of women who desperately wanted to be a mother but for some reason couldn’t. Today is a hard day for them too.

Motherhood means looking beyond yourself. Putting children first. Rare is the woman who births a baby and then doesn’t experience the awe of it all. When women become mothers they look at the world differently. They care for others who need a hand. They hurt when seeing other’s pain. They nourish by giving what they can. They comfort. They provide sympathy. Kiss a boo-boo. Sing a lullaby.

They do their best where ever they are. Yes, for sure we celebrate the wonderful mothers here in the US on this day. But we celebrate those waiting south of the border for asylum. And hiding children from bombs in dark basements. And we think of so many other places where perhaps food is scarce, and medical care is expensive, or education is only for the men, and where there is no daycare to try to work and make ends meet. Juggling. Sometimes doing without.

Here’s to ALL the mothers doing their best. Feeling tired at times. But never giving up. Putting children first. Spreading love.

Happy MOTHERS day to them all. ❤️

Since Title 42 is about to expire and many Americans are worried about the influx of immigrants, I thought I’d put in my two cents and offer a different viewpoint.

First, let’s all remember that these are people. Human beings. Families. Children coming to the border with their parents. Let’s NOT lose the humanity in any decision.

They happen to be people born somewhere in Central America or South America.

Almost all of the people migrating to the US southern border are coming to have a better life. Some are escaping threats from drug lords, some are leaving lands where there is political persecution, some are looking for better paying jobs, some want an education, and some want safety for their children. They still hear about the “American Dream”” and they want a small piece of it. They are willing to risk a lot to travel thousands of miles, with little on their backs, and with constant fear of attack along the way.

Yes, the numbers sound big – we hear on the news how many slip through and enter illegally. Thousands of others are waiting on the Mexico side of the border waiting for Title 42 to end in hopes they can make it in easier..

I can’t help but think about other countries, other places around the world, where people are also fleeing from war, and from lands that have political strife. Neighboring countries are not treating them less than human. Neighboring countries are helping them find a place to stay, some food, and they are not taking away their dignity. Because, you know what? It’s not their fault that they were caught living in a spot of turmoil. All around the globe people are effected by things they have no control over.

Soon we will see on the news video of people at our southern border – and it will look like they are ‘bad people’ and that they are ‘breaking our laws’ – but I hope you can look at them as individuals, family members, wanting a safe, and better life. If they could enter legally they would. But our system right now is slow, and we are not prepared to vet properly and do all the paper work needed. We need to take on some of the blame. Why do we not hire more in the Immigration Department to speed up the path in? Why can’t we employ Americans to help process those wanting asylum here? Help them get to relatives in the states? Give them a chance to work, often in jobs not desired by others.

As a Christian, I have felt all along that it is against the teachings of Jesus to build walls, and to push people away when they are in need. I’m not naive enough to realize this is a complicated issue, and that there are some mixed in the masses that are not of good character. That too is humanity. But certain media outlets emphasis the bad and don’t balance out the report and tell of those who want to be here the right way.

The United States can and should vet those who want to enter our country, and we can work harder, hire more and create more jobs in immigration, and in the meantime we can realize that we ALL are the same. It’s a mindset – and a positive mindset creates positive action. We ALL have the same desires – for love, safety, and to live in peace.

So, look at those faces you see on the news. They are tired from traveling, often walking for days, and they are tired from living in fear for so long. Think about how we can help them, and not stop them from an opportunity here in the United States. Be kind. Be that person that gives a hand out to help. Be that person that sees humanity. Be that person who realizes chance and circumstance have given us our life here in the US. We are children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren of immigrants too. How blessed we are.

Those who come to the border want to be like us.

We have some pretty bad things happening in America these days. I don’t think anyone who has their eyes and ears open will dispute that. There is a huge divide, neighbors against neighbors, families at odds with each other – and it has happened for many reasons. All the lying. All the fake stories. All the fear mongers out there keeping so many people worried. Fearful. Fear has been used as a tool. We can look back in our history and think about the huge abyss that brought on the civil war. States against states. Seeing now what is going on I think it feels like we are headed that way again especially since states are taking on their own power, and making decisions that put them directly against other states.

So much of what is happening is due to all the fear that many Americans feel right now. They have fear of losing freedoms, of losing their guns, fear of ‘others’ who are not like them, fear of the other side enacting laws against them, fear of losing rights over their own bodies, and even fear of our Supreme Court becoming too political. Fear is everywhere.

I believe that a lot of the fear is done intentionally. Listen to the talking heads on certain networks. Even look at their expressions. They are trying to make Americans feel afraid and worried. Politicians are experts at using language to make you think we are doomed unless we agree with them, their side.

It’s been working well. Gun sales are huge. People walk around now all the time thinking somebody is out to get them. We have road rage. We have people shot at front doors and on driveways. People think they need to carry a gun everywhere. Why?

Fear.

People are living in fear.

Christians are living in fear.

But – Of all people, come on, Christians should NOT live in fear.

“Fear not!” Says the Lord. “I am with you.” “Though I walk through the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. Your rod and your staff comfort me.” Psalms is loaded with verses to comfort. “God is our refuge and strength.” And – “When I’m afraid I trust in you.”

“They cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed.”

I just googled ‘fear and the Bible’ and the verses are numerous. It is clear that God says over and over to have faith, not fear, and to put trust in Him. Christians are never told to pick up weapons and kill those who do not agree with them. They are never told to gather an arsenal, and are never supposed to come to the door with a gun loaded and ready.

Here lies so much hypocrisy. Non-Christians are watching. It’s not a pretty view.

I ask: Christians – who do you put as your number 1? Who guides your life? The peaceful messages of faith in God? Or, those who promote gun sales, and want to have you live in a constant state of fear?

I admit that I have lost a lot of confidence in my fellow so called Christians. I have trouble understanding how they walk the line of being Jesus followers and gun enthusiasts. I don’t get it. I am disappointed by those who put gun freedom over childrens’ lives. Again, what would Jesus do??

I believe Christian church leadership needs to speak out. We are at a tipping point right now. Speaking out – and doing something is vital right NOW! Out in the open. Not just in the safe sanctuary on Sunday morning. Who better to start to turn this huge “fear ship” before it hits the iceberg and we sink? Are Christian churches AFRAID to speak out? Why? Are churches so lost from their mission?

I cant’ help but wonder what God thinks as he watches ‘His flock” these days. We let Him down all the time I realize, but we are so far from living in faith. Fear is winning.

It makes me very sad. What is going on in America with God’s people is so disappointing. We can do better. Seriously!! We have God on our side. We can live in faith – and put fear away.

Good: Today is Maundy Thursday. Today is the day Christians remember Jesus dining with his disciples and sharing his body and blood through bread and wine. It was their Last Supper together (yes, like the famous painting), and Jesus commissioned a new commandment: Love one another. He did not add ‘only if they are look like you’ or ‘only if you like what they do.’ What a challenge for us was given that night through those three simple words. Remember WWJD? What would Jesus do? He would love one another – everyone. And He wants us to love also. Above everything else.

Good. It’s Masters Weekend! I love watching golf the next four days. With heavy rain expected Saturday and Sunday it may go beyond the weekend. Who will put on the green jacket at the end?

Bad. My sister-in-law Linda had a stroke about two weeks ago, and while in the hospital tests were run. Yesterday we got the results back on a biopsy of cells from her mass on her pancreas. Cancer. Stage 4, which means it has spread beyond the pancreas into the liver. It’s not good at all. We all know of people, some famous, some friends, who have gotten this diagnosis. As Linda’s sons and siblings decide what is best for her, she still has short term memory loss from the stroke. So, she has been told about the cancer but quickly forgot it. A blessing in disguise.

Good and bad. Ex-president Trump has been indicted, was briefly arrested, and then arraigned on crimes of fraud and cover-up. Why good and bad? No one is above the law, even someone who held the highest office in our nation, who once worked with the top people in our justice system. This case is a New York State indictment of charges, but Trump is also surely going to be indicted soon on at least two federal cases. He will be in the news for months ahead for the criminal activity AND because he still plans to run for president again. It’s actually quite unbelievable. But, so is he. I have written volumes in the past about the man, and I truly believe either you know – or you have your head in the sand. The piles of sand were brought to you by a group of liars, conspiracy creators, and those only caring about getting rich.

Bad. The Nashville school shooting. It just keeps getting worse. On top of the pain of 3 children and 3 adults senselessly killed in a mass shooting, now 3 Tennessee state Democratic Representatives may be censured for their right of freedom of speech and peacefully protesting with Nashville students in the courthouse. Do you realize how dangerous this is? I am actually beside myself over it.

Ugly. I’m not talking physically ugly. Instead what is ugly is the people who allow children to die by guns – now the number one killer of kids. I have experienced some ugly-ness on Facebook lately by some who won’t even consider gun safety progress because they want to hold on to their guns like it’s a ticket to paradise. I have never understood a deep desire for a gun, or for feeling like any object is that important. Especially when comparing it to letting children live.

Good. I have got to finish this post with some good. Right? For me it’s watching my garden come back to life. It’s pulling weeds (I love pulling weeds) and planting some annuals. I picked up some impatiens yesterday and plan to put them in the ground today. I also got a few other flowers to put into pots. Spring has sprung. Easter is almost here. Life – and re-life. Plants I thought were dead are coming back, reaching up, and getting ready to show their beautiful flowers. Just as Jesus died and everyone then thought it was over. God knew otherwise. Death was conquered. Not the end. Easter is hope. Salvation. Reunion.

So, I will end this with a final thought about the fact that my Dad’s body is still holding on (at 96 years old, after hip surgery) even though he desperately wants to experience Easter. For his sake, I hope it happens soon.

This past week I have experienced the joy of celebrating my granddaughter’s 2nd birthday and the sadness and concern for my 96 year old father who went through hip surgery.

As we know a baby coming into the world isn’t always easy. My daughter can tell you that! She had a long labor, and various interventions were used to bring her first child into the world. It took days, not hours. It was very painful. The worst pain she had ever experienced. Granddaughter Madelynn finally arrived and she needed some tests run right away to make sure the birthing process didn’t do any damage. That meant she spent a few days in the ICU. It was a scary time for the new parents who had to wait for test results, and to watch her in her tiny hospital bed.

Thankfully all tests came back good, and Madelynn came home – and now I can look back on the Timehop pictures from 2 years ago and smile, knowing she is a normal little toddler today. She is a blessing to the family and this Mimi enjoys her immensely.

Hours after the 2nd birthday party celebration I got a text about my father falling, and going to the hospital with a broken hip. We all know that people in their 90’s have weakened bones, and a loss of balance, so it was not a surprise that he fell. He had been using a walker to get around but he let go to grab a sweater in his closet and down he went. It was that quick.

Family rallied, and I flew up to be there too. On Monday dad made it through partial hip replacement surgery. On Tuesday he had a pretty rough day, with post-surgery pain and the start of physical therapy, yet at times he had a clear enough mind to think about what happened, and how much work was ahead to gain the ability to walk again. As I said he is 96 years old. There were times on Monday he called out to the Lord to take him. There were times he swore – and that’s not something he does in his every day life. Times he looked at me – saying ‘why’ with his eyes.

My sister-in-law kindly said ‘God is not ready for you yet’ and he and I both wondered out loud if God makes this decision. If He does, then WHY doesn’t he take my dad now to escape the hard work ahead, to only have another issue eventually take him. My dad has lost much of his quality of life. For years he has resided in an assisted living facility. He has needed help for basic needs – for food and to get dressed and showered. His hearing is poor. His short term memory is weak. He has lost his appetite and barely eats.

My dad was a Lutheran pastor for his whole career and he served churches in several states. He was the one there when church members had their babies and shared in their joy at baptisms, and he officiated at many of their funerals too. At retirement he became my mother’s full time care provider as Parkinson’s took her away slowly. He has now lived 20 years without her.

It’s really hard to understand why so much of life has been tough on him, and also on my older sister who became his chief caregiver when he could no longer take care of himself.

But, just like how coming into the world can be difficult, it seems that going from it can be too. Does God hear my dad asking to take him? Does dad’s and my praying make any difference? I have always been told that God HEARS all prayer yet He may not answer the way we want Him to answer them. Of all people, dad devoted much of his life to teaching about God, and in spreading the Good News of Jesus. But I also know that we Christians live in this world and we experience all of the hardships of it. Biblically, the Christ followers were persecuted. They suffered greatly.

Is suffering a test? I hope not.

The joy of a baby coming into the world is certainly celebrated. Milestones of childhood are too. When my dad leaves this world as a very old man, one who has lived through so very much, I will celebrate that too. His suffering will end.

Today is International Women’s Day. I don’t know if there are any men quietly thinking ‘they don’t deserve a special day” but I hope not. Here’s why:

Females are half of the world’s population (maybe a bit more) and throughout history they have been held back, or kept in a box, and around the world still today women are still dealing with men who stop them from reaching their full potential. It’s getting better for women in some countries, including America, but it’s only through pushing for equality, for being brave, by some strong women not afraid to put themselves out there. Women who are bold. Women speaking out. Women who care about other women.

As I have grown older, and because I am a mother of two women, I have felt the responsibility of using myself to better the lives of women. Young females who are starting out need freedom and they deserve the right to be whoever they choose to be. Young mothers are busy raising children, and young business women are starting careers, and some are doing both at the same time. So, when you finally reach a certain age, like me, when those parts of living life are behind you, then it becomes important to ‘pay it back’ or as Tim sings “when you get where you are going, don’t forget to turn back around and help the next one in line.”

We tend to focus on our small world, and that’s okay. We can make a difference to women in our families, and in our neighborhoods. Women do so much good!! Women can give advice to each other, support one another, encourage, accept, and even push them when needed. But, today as we think of ALL the women of the world (it is international womens day after all), we can provide a hand financially, or give to them through charitable work, and we can voice concerns across country lines and borders, and we can share our love. Women are so much better than men in uniting and giving back. Right? Women can be competitive, but still support each other.

So, today is a day to stop, pause, and think about women – those who do ALL the amazing things they do around the world – and who are selfless in their nourishing, in feeding others, in working towards equality, in lifting up, and in believing in themselves and others. Do men feel the same way about their gender? I think not. Women are so blessed to have the genetic makeup that they do, and to own the qualities unique to women kind. (Wait – don’t read that wrong. I’m all for ANY and ALL women: straight, lesbian, soft, butch, poor, wealthy, black, white, red, yellow, rural, urban, short, tall, etc.)

Today we celebrate ALL women everywhere. All kinds. All places. All deserving. All equal.

I love going to live concerts! It’s one of my favorite things to do. I love the connection of the musicians with the audience. It’s a special moment in time. I feel it, and I love how music brings people together.

Interestingly, today I heard a listener’s letter read on the Bobby Bones Show and the writer had just been at Bobby’s recent concert at the Ryman. Bobby and Eddie, from the radio morning show that I love and listen to often, perform as the “Raging Idiots,” fun comedic musicians. They often do charity events. The letter writer said he was disappointed by the noisy people around him and how it made it difficult to enjoy the show.

Then a bit later today I listened to the NPR podcast called the “Political Gabfest” and at the end of it one of the commentators talked about going to see country music artist Morgan Wade in concert last week and that young women were around him and they were constantly on their phones: sometimes holding them up videoing, and other times checking messages, sending some, etc. and rarely just listening to the performance.

My daughters can attest: I have a problem with obnoxious concert goers. The girls have been with me and have heard me complain about loud talkers, about people going in and out all the time for more beer and bathroom needs, in the same row and needing to go by me all the time, and just not caring about the people on the stage and seeing the talent, enjoying the moment. Ugh!!! I mean – please!!! Why are you even there???

To top it off these people pay BIG BUCKS for these concert tickets! Most of the time I try and get good seats, and I pay pretty good money to be there. I want to be as ‘up close and personal’ as I can be. So, the people around me do too.

Now, I know we all enjoy music in different ways. I get that. But, we are there together, enjoying it as a group – and my gripe is about the fact that some feel ‘entitled’ to do what they want to do, without concern with how it affects the experience for others. Some people say ‘I paid for it so I can do what I want’. And, there lies the problem. Right?

Music should unite people, and often it does. There are concerts I go to, and music festivals, where I feel a true connection with most of those who are there. Country music especially really has a family feel and that is one of the many reasons I love it so much.

But there are a few (not the majority – thank goodness) who can ruin it for many. It’s humanity. it’s the few but they are the loud and the selfish.

They need to take a class in concert behavior. They need to care about the music experience for everyone.

I admit it – I have gotten caught up in the Alex Murdaugh murder trial and the story behind the Murdaugh family of Walterboro, South Carolina. I, like so many others, have been following closely the case against Alex Murdaugh in the murders of his wife Maggie and his 22 year old son Paul.

It is a sad story of a long time prominent family in an area of South Carolina known for ‘good ole boys’ and family connections. This area of South Carolina one could say is a bit stuck in time, not progressing with other areas in the state and in the country. In a way living in this rural Lowcountry area of South Carolina is ‘slow and easy’ and change isn’t easily accepted. People like it that way – and if you don’t, well then you can go live somewhere else. They will tell you just that. It’s about fishing and hunting, and going to church, and running into the same faces all the time in the grocery store. I know this because I live in a similar place. I’m a few hours up the road from Walterboro, and my town has a history much the same, with certain names that everyone knows. These are the people who have the power and the money.

The Murdaugh name was known around – in town, in the county, and even beyond. Alex’s father and grandfather held the solicitor position for years. All of them were lawyers. His brothers lived near by. Nobody moved away.

The story that is unraveling now, is long and rather complicated, and some parts are still a mystery. The murder trial is still ongoing and Alex will have more legal troubles due to the millions of dollars he stole from so many people, including his own clients, ones he helped win settlements and financial awards for in court cases. His son was involved (probably driving) a boat when it hit a bridge pylon and one of the young women on board flew out and died. Paul was due to go to court about it. Or “Pawpaw” As Alex called him. Families in the south have lots of affectionate nicknames.

But what is now known is that this man, Alex Murdaugh, was a perpetual liar, and he did it extremely well. He was smooth. He used his name to win people’s trust, and then he stole from them. Over and over and over again. He lived his life with lots of comfort and with plenty: having more than one home, huge properties, nice vacations, and more. He presented himself on the outside like a man of honor, working to help others, using his legal skills to get justice for people who needed it. He was considered an ‘upright’ solid man by most around there. But, he had a very dark side. He has testified in court to having dealt with a many years long addiction to painkillers. He blamed the addiction for his ‘need’ to steal because he needed more money for the drugs. But under his public persona he was also making bad real estate decisions, and losing money in other ways. At one point he had someone shoot him and make it look like a robbery on a desolate road – and he lied about that too. He has lied – over and over. He is a perpetual liar.

The financial troubles and the effects of addiction may have gotten him to the brink – and maybe the family was putting a lot of pressure on him. So, maybe he snapped and he did murder his wife and son. And, maybe he was smart enough to quickly cover it up, to lie to the police, and at the same time be the distraught husband & father, and then again maybe he didn’t. Maybe he is innocent and he did not pull the triggers of the guns.

I would not want to be on his jury. One thing that is obvious to them, and to all of us, is that Alex Murdaugh is a user – of drugs, of people, of situations. He took from people for years and had no regret as he did it. He found a way to justify his actions in his mind. As I have watched the trial I have felt that I am watching a narcissistic person who used his name to get away with immoral and illegal actions – for years. He had no sense of shame. He did not allow himself to care for those he hurt ( he was their lawyer and helped them win cases – but then cheated them out of their money.) He felt privileged and felt that he lived under his own rules.

Do you know others like him? I can’t help but think of our past president who constantly lied, who also was smooth with twisting the English language, who only cared about what benefitted himself and not others. The two even look alike.

I also am thinking about the disparity in our court system. The reason this case has caught my eye, and has lots of attention, is because Alex Murdaugh is supposed to be a protector of the legal system, yet he abused it, and he knows how to play the game. The trial is happening in his backyard. A picture of his grandfather hangs in the courthouse. The jury members are local. Everyone in the county knows the Murdaugh name. This was a vicious crime allegedly done by a white man – in rural South Carolina.

It is suspected that the murders were done with two of the family hunting guns. The guns were most likely loaded and sitting out nearby. They were not safely locked away – which might have stopped this from happening if it was a sudden crime of passion. The weapons have not been found.

There is a documentary on the Murdaughs on Netflix. There are more than several podcasts devoted to them. I even watch a woman who is married to a defense attorney, who lives in NC, with her own daily updates and opinion videos. It is like when the OJ trial was happening – it was the talk everywhere! And everyone had an idea about what must have happened.

So, for me, now, I think the jury will not be able to get beyond a ‘reasonable doubt’ and therefore Alex Murdaugh will be acquitted of murdering his wife and son. But, he has already testified under oath about all the fraud, and the millions of dollars he stole, so he will be found guilty of those crimes in a later trial. As it was with OJ Simpson, no other killer will be found. Why? Because there was only one responsible for the murders and he will be found not guilty.

I’m a hummer. Most of the time I don’t even realize that I am doing it. I hum when I walk, or when I’m doing housework, when I am gardening, or in the shower – or really anytime that it is quiet. I hum.

I have all my life.

The other day I wondered WHY I hum, and if I am just really weird – ha. So, I took the time and I googled what it means to hum a lot.

The sites I visited online offered two main reasons for lots of humming. First, it is a stress reducer. And, yes, I get that, and I think it is something I subconsciously do to stay calm. The other reason listed said that humming is an expression of satisfaction and happiness. So, I’d like to think that is why I hum too.

If you are wondering, do I hum a specific song? No. In fact when I realize that I am humming it is my only little song that I make up as I go.

Somehow I am wired to create music in my head, be it for a sense of even rhythm, to relax myself, or to ‘have a song in my heart” to feel good – and what I always thought was quirky now makes me feel special.

😊 🎶 😊 🎶