I was thinking in the shower just now (oh no!) about how we as a people have a hard time keeping intensity on an issue going. And, I suppose partly it is due to the fact that with each new day comes a new news story. So much is always going on. It can keep your head spinning.

Just months ago we were glued to the horrible events happening in Ukraine. We saw videos of thousands of Ukrainians leaving their homes and we saw all the destruction done by Putin and his military – and it hurt to watch. But we all knew the campaign to save Ukraine was well worth it. It still is. The war is still going on. But it is no longer front page news or ‘top of the newshour’ headlines.

The horrors of the recent mass shootings were there for awhile. But, as with all the other mass shootings in America they have lost top billing too. Until the next big one.

The overturn of Roe vs. Wade is still simmering for sure. Too many people, mostly women, will not let the lack of accessibility to women’s reproduction healthcare become a quiet issue, a forgotten issue. No way. It’s’ too important. Protests continue around the country but they are not making news reports.

Intensity of news is usually hard and fast – and then gone. Most news and psuedo-news networks have lots of hours to fill and they can talk a subject to death. They stretch the time and the facts. They are ‘all over it’ and then it is gone.

On to the next thing. The next news item that will get people riled up. It becomes a cycle, and is about getting good ratings and keeping the ad money coming in. It’s business. It’s a game.

There has often been talk about having news reporting become separate from opinion TV. About no ads run and no concern for making money. Just reporting facts. NPR and PBS are the closest thing to it now but even they have to keep people interested and tuned in. They need money and have telethons each year. They appeal to a certain audience just like the other networks have their demographics to aim for for ratings.

There is no way we can have a government run news outlet. That would be blatant propaganda. We know of dictators in other countries who use media for that very purpose.

So, what to do? The reason I was thinking about this in the shower is that I saw on social media some pretty uninformed comments yesterday. A couple of times I easily found a reputable source and copied and pasted an article to help inform the persons making the comments. I believe that with a little work and with open eyes we can find out truth on the “World Wide Web” (now that’s a term you don’t hear very often anymore! ha) I also believe we can juggle more than one news item and we need to search out for the news sometimes. One lovely commenter told me to ‘get off my high horse’ for submitting information.

Now a days on the WWW (aka the internet) we can pull up videos of the January 6th hearings. We can watch under oath testimony and make up our own minds. We can go beyond what the one or two opinion networks tell us. The same people who commented yesterday said some things that I recognized as untrue rhetoric statements – it was similar to playing the children’s game of telephone. Just repeating the same thing and passing it on. After a few people continue to pass it on it may not be right, and it certainly doesn’t mean that it is true.

Most of you know that I was a ‘mass communications’ major in college and went on to have my first job in a radio news department. I then worked in other departments in radio stations, and at one small California TV station. I have always been a news junkie of sorts. I have always felt it is important to be aware of what is going on. Because, how can we get better, BE better, without knowing? (Yes, yes: ignorance is bliss – and I don’t deny that.) But we live in community and we live where everything is thrown at us with great intensity. Therefore we must separate fact from fiction. It’s getting really, really hard to do. There are many out there who don’t want us to know facts and purposely make news up. Why? To win. To cheat. To gain power. To be on top. They are experts at it too. They use too many adjectives (reporting should not include them.) Too much of the rolling of the eyes and other body language (reporting should not include that.) Ask yourself: who do you watch who does that??

Intensity is about ratings – and swaying people – and serving an agenda. It is not about telling the news. The best in the business do NOT use intensity. They do not get themselves riled up – to get YOU riled up. If they do they are not being truthful.

I have a pet peeve gripe and I hear it a lot on many news networks: The anchor saying “thank you so-and-so – that was great reporting!” Hello??! It’s their job and they should not be doing it for their own applause on camera. News people are avenues to tell what is happening. Again, if someone is telling a story to make themselves look good, then be aware.

I think the past ten years has shown me that it’s easy for people to be pulled along. To be gullible. It’s become a way of life for people in the media business – the ones that stretch news and opinionate. They get kicks from being the ‘expert,’ the one with the followers, the one who can say anything and people think it’s true. It makes me sad – but truly also really scares me. Those commenters yesterday had been pulled along, believing things not true, and ready to fight about it.

None of this was covered in my Mass Communications classes in the late 70’s at Towson State University. I wonder if it is now. It must be fascinating to sit in on lectures these days about what is going on in the news world now, and what the future might hold.

Three days ago I wrote a Marla’s Musings and it was pretty depressing. What can I say? I guess when things are weighing heavy on my mind I find putting it down on paper (electronically) helpful.

But life is a balance. The joys still pop up often, sometimes unexpectedly. And really, they can be the best kind!!

Other times I find it helpful to pause, and to look around at nature. I get great comfort from my garden. I love to watch flowers bud and open up. I love to see growth. I never give up on plants. Sometimes they can look pretty sad and I am sure others would pull them out and replace them. I can’t. In fact now that I have a greenhouse and a hidden area, I take my plants that need time to ‘get better’ there in hopes they find new life. Is that a metaphor? Don’t we all need to find a place to just be, and to have time to rejuvenate?

I think of plants and trees as living things. We humans are very dependent on the miracle of trees turning out clean oxygen for us. So, it saddens me when I see huge hundred year trees cut down. I live in a rural area where the paper mill in town is the biggest business, employing hundreds. For it to continue to run the mill owns/rents land in the county and cuts down acres of trees, loads them on to logging trucks which is then used to make pulp for paper. We had a forest across the road and it was cut down last year. Okay, we get more sunlight in and the early mornings have a visible sunrise now. That is nice. But I miss the trees.

Life is a balance.

Earth has amazing balance systems, Sometimes we humans screw them up. We put polluted smoke into the air, crud into rivers, cut down bird and animal habitats, and more.

So, I guess this post will now turn a little political. Sorry. But, the environment is one of the many reasons I am a Democrat. I believe there really is global warming happening. I believe we can slow down the destruction that we do to nature and work to keep it’s balance. Therefore I believe in the work of the EPA, and I support using tax money to keep America beautiful – and full of healthy nature parks, and green spaces, and unspoiled rivers and lakes. It’s worth it to me.

I live on a river. I sit on my screened porch just about every single day and look out on it. I watch birds fly over it, looking for fish for lunch – or at least some yummy gnats and mosquitos. A family of swallows have nested in the top of our boat lift roof. As summer moves along, I occasionally see fish jumping too. We have a marsh area and little fiddler crabs running around when the tide is low. Rarely I can see an alligator swim near, and also rarely a snake slithers. Thankfully rarely!! ha But – I am fortunate to have this view each day.

It keeps me balanced.

PS: If you need some balance in your life my screened porch has rocking chairs waiting for you. Come sit a spell as they say in the south! Come have a cool drink and enjoy the view.

Hi. It feels like forever since I have written a Marla’s Musings.

I suppose it has been weeks, maybe a month or two. And, although I have started a few before this one it feels like there is too much to say, or that I am a broken record, or I wish I had different subjects to write about…

But, no. It’s the same issues – and really they are worse. It’s pretty disheartening. Since I last wrote there have been a least two more (maybe three) large mass shootings. Since I last wrote Roe vs. Wade was overturned and life has become much harder for women in America. Since I last wrote the Jan. 6th committee has held more hearings with damning testimony that should make all Americans upset.

But, here’s the thing: nothing has changed. I mean when it comes to people – thinking, and people believing, and people coming together.

Yes, it’s pretty disheartening.

We just celebrated America’s Independence Day and for the first time I did not feel like we deserved to celebrate our country. I felt like it was fake holiday, and we were putting a glossy picture up, to hide the mess. And, with almost choreographed evidence a domestic terrorist committed a mass shooting at a 4th of July parade in middle America. Another young, white male, obviously mentally disturbed decided to buy up high powers weapons and go on a rampage, killing the parents of a 2 year old, and others who should be alive to enjoy retirement and grandchildren. Dozens others hurt. Hundreds there traumatized. Millions of Americans now nervous to go anywhere in public to places where people gather.

People like me, people who want to see more, stronger, sensible gun laws cry when these events happen. People like me hurt, and get mad, and call Congress, and post their outrage. But others stay quiet. It’s obvious. I see you. It’s disheartening.

Shouldn’t we all be outraged by what is happening?

But, I know the machines that stir the political pots have turned us into their robots. We let them feed our brains with endless hours of pseudo news. and opinions, and sometimes downright lies. We don’t question anything anymore. We don’t even consider other possibilities.

The latest example is the story going around right now that Tim Allen has been replaced to voice Disney’s Buzz Lightyear with Chris Pratt. It could very well be true. A reporter asked Tom Hanks (the voice of Woody) about it and Tom simply said he didn’t know why Tim was replaced. Today there are posts and rumors going around that Tim Allen was fired because of his political leanings. I don’t think anyone from the movie company said that that was why, or gave the public any reason. Yes, Tim Allen has on his own been an outspoken voice for the conservatives. That is his right to speak his mind about politics and other subjects. But, people have also been mean to Tom Hanks about it. My husband read me some comments that he saw today, and they were directed at Tom, using nasty language, calling him out, saying he was in on Tim being replaced.

Really???

Please, where is proof of any of this? People – stop jumping to conclusions. Please stop thinking the worst of others, and blaming some that may not even be involved. It is over-the-top what we get fed these days and too many of us believe these made up, slanted, often untrue stories.

I don’t know Tom Hanks but I think he might feel like a pawn in this. In a few days this all will calm down, and Tom will be fine. The machine will be on to fabricating something else to get people stirred up.

The machine knows how to create chaos, to the point that nothing is believed.

It is really disheartening.

But, I will not stop hoping for some sanity. I still believe that some people have integrity, and are honest – especially when giving testimony under oath. I have to believe it. If not, it’s an extremely sad and serious downward spiral. Already I wonder how we can return to civility with each other. If we can’t honor other humans, and believe them, what are we??? Who are we???

I guess I know now why I have not written a Marla’s Musings for awhile before today. My head and heart hurt – for the innocent gunned down on a regular basis, for women with no choice unless finding a secret path to another state or backroom, for half of this country that won’t speak up for honesty and belief in each other.

It is so very disheartening.

Happy Mother’s Day in heaven to my mother, a woman of her era. Born and raised in rural Ohio with quiet, and basic German values. A woman who placed motherhood and being a wife first in her life. She sewed my clothes, made special meals, baked, cleaned, etc. and was the perfect “pastor’s wife.”

Happy Mother’s Day to my two daughters who are experiencing tight hugs, and homemade cards, and who get to be the most important woman in their kids’ lives right now. Kissing boo-boos, and singing kiddie songs, reading stories, and more. The days are long but the time is short.

Happy Mother’s Day to women who work and have to balance (ha – impossible) their time without regret. Showing your child that Mama is a well-rounded person is important. For some the job pays the bills, and buys the food, clothes them, and pays for all those little things that come each day.

Happy Mother’s Day to those mourning the loss of a child. Saying ‘happy’ seems callous. Here’s to those with strength to carry on, and to use their pain to help others. These mothers live their whole life with a huge hole in their heart.

Happy Mother’s Day to Ukrainian moms who have had to up and leave everything, take their children, and start again in a new country. Living in fear and uncertainty. Here’s to moms at our borders wanting the same… some safety, and hope – and a life for their children. Here’s to mothers from every country who feel the same love for their children.

Happy Mother’s Day to the active parent in the school system. The one willing to be ‘class mom’ and PTA member. Here’s to the mom who becomes ‘everyone’s’ mom with the child’s schoolmates. We all knew one. Willing to take on the burdens of other kids and always keeping the door open to come on in.

Happy Mother’s Day to stay at home moms, who still seem to have to answer to the important of raising children.

Happy Mother’s Day to replacement moms. Be they step-parents, or aunties, or Grandmas, who stepped in by choice to give love and help raise children.

Happy Mother’s Day to those without children – but wanted to be a mother so badly. Circumstance or physical limitations got in the way.

Happy Mother’s Day to the family with two mothers. Can you imagine a child feeling twice all the love one mother offers?

Happy Mother’s Day to those who ‘made it through’ and now look back, and sigh that it went by so quickly. First the scary newborn days. And then a couple of years of toddlers and play groups, and then off to school, and endless class trips, programs, and music concerts. Sporting events. Church rites and Sunday school. Watching them learn to drive, graduate – and then heading off to college. Not knowing everything going on in those years (and not really wanting to know) and praying they make it through. First apartments and first jobs. Phone calls about life lessons as an adult.

Then weddings – and becoming a mother themselves. The true circle of life.

Happy Mother’s Day to ALL who get to have experienced it, the good and the bad, the ups and downs, the smiles and occasional bad words. ha

There is nothing else like being a mother. Happy Mother’s Day!

I love babies. I love love love babies!! If you know me you know that I find great joy in the birth of babies and I am experiencing a ‘birth explosion” right now among many of my daughters’ friends. So many of them have been having babies in the past couple of years! It’s such an amazing time! They are at a place in their lives when having babies and creating new families is happening – and watching this phase of life puts a huge smile on my face.

These are such loved babies. Wanted babies. Babies born into situations where parents and grandparents will give them everything they will need for a wonderful life ahead.

It’s interesting that I watch this happening among so many of my daughters’ friends right now as I sit here and also watch the Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision leak, and the worry of it being overturned. My Facebook posts are equally pics of adorable new babies and posts about women losing their freedom of choice.

I wonder. My daughters’ friends are really good people but I bet that one or more of them had to make a pregnancy decision at some point in their past. And, I can guarantee it was not an easy decision. I am sure that if an abortion was the outcome that it is something that will never be forgotten. It was not a whimsically choice. It was done with a heavy heart. With some fear. But it was their choice. Done in privacy. Safely.

I believe an abortion is never easy for a woman – emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Let me repeat: It’s never easy.

But I believe it is the right thing to have abortion as a choice.

I am a deeply religious person. I am a Christian and I try to live thinking ‘what would Jesus do’ when it comes to the hard realities we all have to face. First I know that God loves all mothers, and that God is a compassionate God. I know that God gives people free will, and with that comes making mistakes large and small. I also know men are involved in making babies but they are never considered in the abortion issue.

I know that God is so much ‘more’ than us, not limited to time or place. God knows each unique soul. Every single one – and that alone is hard to comprehend. But God does. God does not wait for a ‘start date’. He doesn’t say it takes so many cells to multiply in a woman’s womb before becoming a being, before having a soul. God also doesn’t have an end date for a soul either. Accidents happen to children. Young adults die from drugs. Suicide. Others die too young from cancer and other diseases. We can’t box God in. We should not think we KNOW how God thinks – or what he sees in the heart of someone suffering. God loves – God is compassionate.

Here in the United States we have had an upsurge of trying to legislate religion. We are seeing a group (dare I say mostly white ones?) trying to make all Americans like them. They have an attitude of thinking “I know what is best.” They are confusing discipleship with being authoritative, speaking as if they are God – or have a better pipeline to Him.

It’s really quite sad because they don’t seem to allow God to be God. And, they don’t seem to be able to follow the greatest message of all which is to love your neighbor as yourself.

But – back to our Supreme Court right now. I believe that the court should stay out of a woman’s decision on this. It is a decision to be made with a medical doctor, a counselor, perhaps a leader of their faith Oh – .and with the man involved if that is possible. Remember he was there too!?! And it should be private and done with dignity.

Remember…

God knows each soul – if it only lived in a uterus. Or if it grew to an old age. God knows people get hurt and make hard decisions. God listens to repentance. God is God.

We are not God.

Happy Easter week! The resurrection of Jesus is not a ‘one day’ celebration for Christians. The fact that Jesus died and rose from His death is the foundation of all Christian church beliefs. Walk in any Christian church and you will hear about God conquering death, and using Jesus to show us how to live, how to die, and how to look forward to ‘more.’ It is God’s promise of eternal life beyond this one we have here on earth. It’s the hope for ‘more’ given to us by His love for us. We won’t know the details until it’s our time, and the details might be different for each of us. We just don’t know. But, regardless Easter brings us hope, and is God’s gift to us – through grace. It’s not to be celebrated on just one day. We Christians live an Easter life every day. And with it comes responsibility to care for others and their needs.

Saying that, I want to pass along some interesting discussion I have been a part of on-line. We live in a really sad world with lots and lots of sins, big and small. Right now we watch what is happening to the Ukrainians and it is truly too much to take. Half a world away we see the live videos on the news and we feel hopeless, unable to stop Putin, the mad man from Russia. So much loss of life and destruction caused by a deranged man, whose actions show he has no soul, and does not feel for the hurt, and for the pains he has caused to humanity. Maybe in a sick way Putin even enjoys what he is doing.

Then here at home we have other wars going on. Here’s the discussion that I have been a part of – with some disagreements. The conservative topics of late, their bullhorn rhetoric, is the use of words about gay relationships and sexual identity around elementary aged children – and the ‘need’ to ban books from school curriculums. All of a sudden it has become an issue to them. Books written years and years ago are suddenly unfit for reading, because they may sway young minds, and will possibly open their eyes to a wider view. They may read history that isn’t very flattering. You realize it’s not really about the books, right? Like I said most of the books have been around a long time and there is no proof that reading them has caused any child any harm. if anything, some books have created questions for discussions and deeper understandings about our world Same goes with sexual identity. It’s always been around. Learning about it, not making a big deal about it, creates an environment for asking questions and getting a better understanding.

. So you see – It is about CONTROL – and it’s about who has the power.

Underneath, the gay and book banning motive is unfortunately the same as the Russian war in Ukraine. How you ask? (Marla, are you crazy?) There are people here who want to make decisions for others, who want to be the one in charge, to know what should be allowed, and what is not. They pose themselves as saviors of children, and experts on whatever needs to be done. (True smart people know they don’t know everything and are okay about admitting it. That is not a weakness.) Putin uses extreme measures to put fear into his people, to keep them under his thumb, and the conservative leaders here do also. They scare people into ‘what might happen’ if we allow gay talk – oh my, or any books to be read that have stories about bad stuff . What if Johnny reads this book, or if Susie learns of two dads in one household? And, worst of it all – they connect religion to it. They pick the parts of religion to support their stance – and to put ample fear in to the people. They point fingers at others who are doing it wrong – because they think they know what is best. Somehow though, they forget to use the parts of religion about love and acceptance for all. Oh, by the way, they claim they are Christians! Hmmm. Do they ask: What would Jesus do?

Remember the book “The Stepford Wives”? (Is it on the banned list now?) In the book the suburban women are lulled into a non-thinking, non-individual way of existing. They are controlled and do not see what is happening. They are just pretty shells. And the book “1984” is a futuristic look (written before 1984) about government controlling everyone’s lives to the point of not allowing free thinking, and personal expression. Big Brother was always watching. And there were people who’s jobs were to re-write history, and to change reality to what fit best for government’s control.

Sound familiar?

I’m wondering as I write this. Just kinda curious. I wonder the percentage of avid readers are in both our political parties. Is one party made up of more serious readers? How many Republicans in America are readers vs. Democrats in America? That could be a telling statistic.

Back to where I started: Easter is about God’s promise to us – because God knows being human is hard, and we get it wrong, and we act all pompous and stupid sometimes. God sent Jesus down into the middle of us, to tell us how to try and get it right. And, then God showed us, through the death and resurrection of Jesus, that the sins and the pain of this earth will one day be a thing of the past. Our unique soul, our individual free-thinking, free will person has hope, has opportunity for ‘more’ – and that’s a pretty awesome thing.

Controlling people and banning books. Unacceptance of people. Using fear. Suppression. Personal power on earth has nothing over that.

So – Have a blessed Easter all year long.

For the second time in two days I have read a post from a teacher who is considering leaving the profession. She wrote that today’s politics is coming in to her classroom, and she can not continue on with the restrictions certain politicians are pushing on an already difficult job. Both teachers are not new at teaching. Both care greatly about their students. Both chose to teach to truly make a positive difference in young people’s lives.

And, this morning I read a news piece about a Frederick County, Maryland meeting last night that had to be stopped because a group of parents who attended it were yelling at a committee tasked to update policy.

Disruptions are happening at school board meetings across the country. The parents are taking sides on a politically started issue about using the word ‘gay’ in classrooms, and on when it is acceptable to teach about gender identity. The main focus is with young children, kindergarten through 3rd grade. Here’s a reminder: Public education has standardized requirements, and in those early years of school a class on sex education is not a part of it. Never has been. The children instead are busy learning letters and numbers, and then sentence structure and reading and math skills. They are learning basics needed to continue on in to the upper grade levels. So, the hoopla (or loud noise) seems to be created on purpose – and it’s about the worries that children ‘may’ hear that a teacher is gay, or in a relationship with a same gender person, or that little Johnny has two moms, or that Billy likes to plays with dolls, and Suzie dresses like a boy.

Let me say it again: This is a MADE UP effort by conservative politicians who want to push an agenda on to others. I recently watched the Netflix documentary called “The Family” and I encourage everone to watch it. It’s about a group of Republican Congressmen who quietly have banned together in efforts to promote Christian leadership in government. They are supported by a ‘secret style’ organization that wants to elevate Christian men in to the roles of power, and they truly believe they are chosen to do this. They believe that God has selected them. .

This group goes against the idea of the separation of church and state, which has been part of the foundation of the country. We do not have a national religion. In fact, all religions are allowed to be worshipped in the United States. Lately the efforts of ‘the family’ are dangerously seeping in to our public systems in ways we haven’t seen before. The gay/don’t say gay issue in the classroom is one right now. Look at Florida, Texas, and now Ohio.

Step back and be rational for a moment. Think back when you were in public school. Do you EVER recall a teacher or another student addressing sexual identity in elementary school? Did a person of authority try to sway your identity? Do you remember making fun of child for having two moms? Do you really think even that someone’s sexual identity was talked about in the classroom of young children and that it would ‘change’ who they are?

No – of course not.

Unfortunately our public educational system already has a list of issues – buildings are falling apart, there is race and economic inequality in districts, low academic scores, low pay for teachers, etc . The teachers already have plenty of pressure put on them – like having to teach towards test results, to sometimes be ‘second parents’ when children need help, etc. And now this – a made up fear from politicians and parents that the children will be influenced – to what? Accept everyone?

I don’t blame these two teachers for saying ‘enough.’

They are not the only two. Our American educational system will be hurt tremendously by the loss of dedicated, wonderful teachers. Children will lose out on having them, and classroom sizes may have to increase to fill the void. We all will suffer, not because Ms. Smith lives with Ms.Jones, but because some people are spending way too much time on a non issue.

Get over it.

If you attend a school board meeting and want to fight (civilly) do it for better teacher pay, and for computers for all kids, and for safe school buildings and environments. Care about the real stuff.

Care about teachers.

Know the title? It’s an old Mamas and Papas song. From the 60’s from those who were alive then. ha

Happy Monday to you. Monday quarterbacking here – on a few issues.

Silly to use a football term when it’s the peak of NCAA college basketball! A big shout out to the University of South Carolina Lady Gamecocks for winning the title last night against UConn! It’s nice to have a ‘home team’ to root for – and it’s nice to have the team do so well at the biggest game on a national level for the women. Side note: When the game started I noted that coach Dawn Staley was wearing what looked like a retro letter jacket, in green, black, and white. Not the Carolina garnet and black. I said to my hubby that there must be some significance to it, and perhaps it’s a tribute to something from her playing years. Wrong. I read this morning it was a Louis Vuitton jacket priced at almost $5000. What’s up with that?

Are you rooting for a team in tonight’s big championship game for the mens title? Kansas or UNC? I feel like I need to root for the Carolina team. A different Carolina, but I have connections to it with both daughters and their families living in North Carolina. Kansas looked so good against Villanova though. So, I don’t know. I’m guessing it will be a nail biter, close to the end. Do I want Eric Church to watch his UNC team (by the way he is an App State grad) go all the way? Well, at this point – why not. He already did incredible PR damage.

How would I feel if Tim McGraw cancelled a concert to watch a sporting event? MAD! And – Extremely disappointed. Especially with all I have gone through to get the tickets transferred electronically!! For those who have not read my earlier posts and don’t know, I have had a battle going on with Ticketmaster for months now because I was receiving messages about being a Bot, and was ‘forbidden’ (the word they used on the screen) to go into My Accounts in Ticketmaster. After many calls and long waits on hold, and various efforts through the internet, I resorted to writing a snail mail letter and sent it to Ticketmaster headquarters in Wheeling, WV. I had given up after a few weeks of not hearing back from them, when lo & behold, a representative named Meredith emailed me back. Her first (of many) emails stated she was sorry it took awhile to respond – because the mail is only picked up from the post office a couple of times a month!! Yes, you read that right! Meredith turned out to be my savior though because she did not give up finding out what was wrong and why I could not electronically download the tickets. We even had some phone conversations. Guess what? She went to her boss, and others, and YES – I had been blocked. But, of course nobody knew why. They unblocked me. Meredith gave me a temporary password to get into My Accounts and I was able to get the tickets.

I had asked repeatedly to just print out tickets (you know, like the ‘good ole days’) and send them to me. They would not. Said they could not. Oh, and I had used a ‘third party’ seller which complicated it all. I told Meredith my hubby and I both were on our phones at the same time had gone online at the moment of ticket release to the public to buy them. So, question: How did a third party get early access and already was reselling tickets – for a profit? Guess what? I never got an answer on that either. Surprised? No, me neither.

So, on to happier things: It’s April and my garden is taking off like crazy now! All the perennials are getting taller every day. Spring has sprung – and it’s wonderful! We are having most days with highs in the 70s now. Sorry for my northern friends, and the ones that just got a bit of snow.

Speaking of seasons, I have been saying “to everything there is a season” a lot lately. Many of you know I have been a very active, devoted member of my church since moving here many years ago. I have stuck in there through changes in pastors, through the horrible ‘great divide’ when we voted on the gay marriage issue, and I have watched too many members pass on, or move away. My friend and Music Director then retired and remarried (and I am happy for her). Add in the full year of no in-person worship due to CoVid which was tough for everyone. Now, I sit in the pew and I feel immense sorrow. I can’t help but sit there and think about how it used to be – and who all is gone. I miss hearing and participating in the music there. I am just sad about it all. I feel like this season has ended for me. I’m not sure what to do.

So…

I get joy from other places. I get joy from my hubby and daughters & their families. I get joy from nature. And, yes I definitely get joy from music. Tomorrow evening is the community band spring concert and I look forward to it. If you are local, come on out! It’s free! 7:00pm at the Pawleys Island Community Church.. The theme is “Shall we dance?” All music connected to dancing. I will be tooting my flute. And, I love to dance to music – so Wednesday I will be at that again – come join me at the linedancing class! I’m also ringing handbells in two church handbell groups.

The CMA Festival is getting closer and closer – and that is the ultimate for a country music fan! OVer 4 days – and nights – of many venues in the area playing live music. From small acoustic groups and individuals in the honky tonks, to the river stage, to the big stadium night shows with the big names performing! It’s country music on overload! It’s not for the feint of heart – or those who can’t keep up with the long days and lots of walking.

In May I have the two Tim McGraw concerts. Raleigh and Charlotte. Get ready daughters!! Yee haw!!

Have I asked this before? Probably? Country music people have lots of tattoos. Rock music lovers do also. It seems to be a big thing these days. I am all for free expression AND I am also for freedom with your own body (hear that Congress?). But for the life of me I do not get 1. skulls, 2. dead people, 3. whole sleeves on arms and legs. Sometimes I think people pick something to put on ‘willy nilly’ and it’s there F.O.R.E.V.E.R. Bodies change. And what seemed cool now may be awful later. Right? Tats are not cheap. (And they are often done in shady places by people with no art degree.) So when I see sleeves I hear ka-ching and I wonder how else that money could be spent. That’s just me,

One thing I do know: that spending money on others, and giving time & talent to others, is never wrong. I know the majority of people give back something – and share what they can. There is an internal shift when you give without expecting anything back. When you give because you know someone is just like you, but needs a little something. Making someone else’s life easier or happier comes right back to you. It gives a reason to be. We see examples of it everyday and what we see is the tip of the iceberg.

So – to give is to love. Music is love. There is a lot of love around.

Today is National Trans Day. It must be true because I saw it on Facebook. ha. If it is or if it isn’t really doesn’t matter, because I am sure those who are living in a body that they don’t identify with struggle about it every day, especially young people. For them every day is Trans day.

I can’t say I know any trans persons personally. Maybe I do but I have not been able to tell by their appearances. I do know though some lesbians and gay men, and I know that they also have times of struggle with acceptance, first with themselves and then by others. It’s something I have never had to deal with, or feel wrong about – or tell someone about. My body identity or my sexual preference is ‘straight’ forward – pun intended. Why I was born that way I was I do not know. Why they were – I do not know that either.

The saying goes ‘you don’t know how it is until you have walked a mile in my shoes.’ Well, I have never walked through life not fitting in with the norm. I have never walked feeling out of sorts with society’s expectations.

But, I do know this: It’s gotta be really hard to do. It’s also not a choice. LBGTQ are born the way they are, and still in today’s world it’s a challenge to ‘come out’ to family and friends. Most figure out their sexual identity in their teen years but don’t feel comfortable announcing it til much later. As if ‘announcing’ it should even have to happen.. Right? I didn’t ‘announce’ I was a heterosexual. I also know once the announcement is made and they tell others a great burden is lifted and they can be more authentic. They can live a truthful life. And… I’m all for that.

I therefore believe that we need to acknowledge that not understanding is okay, but not accepting is not okay. We need to understand that we come in all colors, in various heights and weights, and assorted sexual desires…built-in. From day one. It’s not a choice. And, a trans person has to be the toughest one to figure it out. Born with certain body parts but not being ‘right’ with them, not identifying with those parts connected to their own body.

I believe God made us ‘in His image” and that includes not just the physical look, but also with some intellect (some more than others – ha), and with spirits that are deeper than other living beings on earth. I also believe God doesn’t make mistakes. And, I believe that God loves every single person whoever they are. Again, skinny or obese, red or black skin, young or old, and heterosexual or gay – or trans. God loves everyone.

What God doesn’t like is seeing inequality, and meanness, and humans judging others. Jesus said to ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ with no asterisk after it. No ‘exceptions’ and no ‘changes required.’

Depression and suicides rates are higher in the gay and trans community. We all are to blame for it. We legislate against them. We make their lives difficult. We snub, or laugh, or put them down.

So today is a day to think about how we can behave differently. How we can make a day better for someone else. How we can be accepting. How we can love the differences we all have.

It’s all the talk today. Will Smith got out of his seat at the Academy Awards live show last night, dressed in a tux, he walked up on stage and slapped Chris Rock very hard across the face for a ‘joke” Chris told about Will’s wife Jada’s buzzcut. Jada is dealing with a disease that causes loss of hair. The joke was tasteless. But, many people laughed – including Will at first.

So, if you are at an office this morning and ‘around the water cooler’ you are probably weighing in about it. If you are online this morning you are seeing memes about it already. If you are watching TV this morning you are hearing the talking heads do what they do: talk, talk, talk about it. And, I can guarantee you have seen the video over and over again.

People are taking sides about it. Some are with Will. Some are disappointed in his actions. Some are just laughing.

Well, I also saw online this morning a post from a woman who I know, who lived in an abusive marriage for too long. Thankfully she is out of the marriage now, but she said watching Will slap Chris, and later saying during his award acceptance speech that “sometimes love makes you do crazy things” made her sick. She was on the receiving end of that kind of behavior. She posted that most abusers say that exact line – it happened because of love. They twist words to put it back on the other person, and they will not accept any blame. So, last night’s live slap and the blocked words after it (we knew what Will was saying) effected some greatly – a form of PTSD.

Little boys are taught from a young age to be tough, to stand up for themselves, and even have a playground scuffle if you need to do it. Never walk away. Be a man!

Last night we saw a huge movie star, worth tons of money and living a comfy life, act like a school boy. Was he defending his wife’s honor in that moment? Did she NEED it defended?

Perhaps Will had a drink or two. Perhaps he and Jada had already a bad vibe going with Chris Rock. Maybe there was a history already between them. I have heard various ‘excuses’. I even heard this morning that Will grew up watching his father beat up on his mother and regrets not stepping in… he regrets not being a man in a boy’s body.

I posed a question on Facebook to my friends who are raising sons. What would you think if your son behaved like Will did last night? Is that what you teach them? Would you be proud? “That’s my boy!”

I’m a mother to daughters so I admit I never had to raise boys. It’s a lot easier to tell girls to turn the cheek when other girls are being catty. When a girl is picked on she cries, but does not strike back. And I think of the woman I mentioned above who stayed in a bad marriage longer than she should have stayed.

We seem like a society ready to jump, to stomp on someone, to put them in their place. It’s hard to turn the other cheek because it seems weak, and cowardly. We saw that last night. Will Smith got out of his seat and strode up to Chris Rock and smacked him with his open hand. You know who handled it well? Chris Rock. He did not hit back. He did not return the same verbal abuse either. He kept himself together – although I’m sure he was stunned.. Thankfully more was not exchanged.. Because too often violence escalates.

I hope people don’t just laugh about what happened last night. It was inexcusable. It was not a drunk barroom fight. It was a successful man acting in a way no young boy should look up to and want to be like. Will Smith was not a role model last night.