I really wonder if we, as such a divided nation now, are past the point of no return. I absolutely love “Phantom of the Opera.” It’s one of my all time favorite musicals. In it, the music of Andrew Lloyd Webber is beautiful and haunting. One of the most dramatic songs comes at the end of the play and it is about reaching the point of no return. Some of the words are:

You have come here

In pursuit of your deepest urge.

I have brought you here

That our passions may fuse and merge.

In your mind you’ve have already succumbed to me,

Dropped all defenses, completely succumbed to me.

No second thoughts.

You have decided. Decided.

Past the point of no return.

No going back now.

Past all thoughts of right and wrong.

When will the blood begin to race?

The sleeping bud burst into bloom?

When will the flames at last consume us?

We are…

Past the point of no return.

Ok. The song is sung by the Phantom as his one last emotional moment telling of his desire to be with Christine. The Phantom is beside himself. He is crying. He is lost. But, as I listen to these words I wonder if we too have lost all our thoughts of right and wrong. We no longer allow ourselves to have second thoughts. No ability to change anymore. Are we past the point of no return?

It’s pretty depressing.

Truth has become really hard to find. Real truth. Facts. We have reached that moment of living in a time when nothing can be for sure. Our urges to win, our desires to be more powerful, to have it our way, have sent us down a road that we can’t stop traveling down. There seems to be no turning around. No pause even.

My last Marla’s Musing I spoke of how my heart hurt because we are in a place where even last Saturday’s tragic event, the assassination attempt, has become political, divided, full of theories, photoshopped pictures, and fake news. Since I wrote it I listened to politicians speak about ending all the dangerous rhetoric because words hurt. Mean words cause anger back. We don’t know if that may have led to the shooting. But maybe. I heard the politicians say it’s time to roll it back. That enough is enough. Right? Well, it lasted for about 24 hours.

We are right back to finger pointing, to blaming others, to creating fake theories, and whatever else that can be done. Low seems to go lower every single day.

So, what happens when we are at the point of no return? Where are we when are emotions always get the best of us? What will happen next? How can we ever agree on anything? Will we ever be able to trust again?

In Phantom of the Opera the love affair ended. The play reached its conclusion. The house lights came up, the audience dried their tears, and they walked out of the theatre together.

But this is real life.

Looking back in history I remind myself that we have been at the edge of the cliff before. We have had people unwilling to bend on slavery and civil rights, or on women’s voting and rights, and even on gun safety. These are life changing (saving) issues. And I am sure back then it felt like there was no turning back, and no way out either. Unfortunately there was bloodshed. But somehow our country moved forward. And, mostly, the right thing finally happened. And so, I hope that during this crazy era of Trump and MAGA and all the fake news and theories, all the lies and so many being fooled, and now finding it difficult to believe anything…. We will not be at a point of no return. Our house lights will come up. People will be exposed. A new morning will start. And, we will move forward.

I pray that our elections can save us.

I sit here this morning and I wonder how we are going to get through the next four months. My heart hurts so much. Yesterday we had a horrible thing happen; an attempted assassination of a past president and the Republican candidate for the upcoming election. It was close. Too close. Truly within an inch or two Donald Trump might not be alive today.

There have been lots of memes and jokes online already and I admit, I have found a few of them funny. But, but, but, it doesn’t take away the seriousness of what happened. We all need to understand that any kind of violence is totally unacceptable. We cannot let political divides change that. Violence is NEVER an answer.

As I am writing here, a post just appeared across my screen saying the shooter had explosives in his car. He lived with his parents, and used an AR-15 that was purchased by his father. Bits and pieces of information will continue to come in. The shooter was only 20 years old – not even a legal adult. He was a registered Republican. Maybe he left clues about what he planned to do. Maybe not. Maybe he was dealing with mental issues. Maybe he was bitter about something in his life. Maybe he just wanted to do something radical. We may learn more about why he did it or we may never know.

The good news is that Donald Trump was just grazed by the bullet. How he moved a bit at the podium may have made a difference of life and death. He should heal okay. I hope he does. But,we cannot forget that two others at the rally were killed by the bullets from the automatic gun. I believe two more are seriously injured. This young man shot at Trump while he stood in front of a stands full of people, without care of any of them.

I cannot turn on the TV right now because my heart and my stomach can not handle all the false narratives, all the speculations, all the blaming. The finger pointing. The meanness that will continue to spew. Before yesterday I thought we could not get any worse, but now I know that, yes, we can. It truly makes me want to cry. How are we going to make it through four more months?

Listen, Trump is not my favorite person – and he certainly is not my choice to be president again. But, what happened to him yesterday was horrible, and nobody should ever condone the actions of the shooter. Ever. As far as we know at this point Democrats were not responsible for it. Biden certainly didn’t plan it. Trump didn’t want it to happen. It was most likely the act of a lone young man, who for some reason did it.

I disagree on a lot of the Republican beliefs and I have read through what the ‘planks’ are for the convention starting tomorrow. It’s ok. I am allowed to think differently on their issues. And, I can be an advocate for things that concern me. One big concern I have always had is the ‘loose and free’ rights we allow for getting and owning guns. I have been vocal for a long time about innocent people getting killed – by drive by shootings, mass killings in crowds, road rage, and more. I have stated that I will not vote for any candidate who will not work towards better gun safety in our country and I continue to stand by it.

Look what happened yesterday. It was another in a long list of gun violence that might possibly have been stopped.

Will there be another political shooting before the election? I think all of us agree it could happen. With guns and irrational people. Anything can happen. It’s never good. Is this what we want?

I read an interesting article recently about how staying silent, providing no action, is acceptance to outcomes. It is allowing the violence to go on. So, are you okay with allowing the violence to go on??

Guns should never be a political issue to ponder. To debate. I believe that every Democrat and Republican should do whatever they can to keep all our officials safe. We should work towards a more civilized society. We should do anything and everything possible to keep our children safe!

Seriously, how are we going to make it through the next four months? And after that…. then what??

My heart hurts.

Woooo. I don’t know where to start on the past couple of weeks. Life cycles. The sadness of a father’s death. The joys of young grandchildren. I have experienced so much recently.

Thank you to everyone who reached out to me on the passing of my father. I was overwhelmed with the love expressed by cards, and online messages, by hugs, and more. I have a wonderful mix of family and friends who let me know I was in their thoughts and prayers. I thank you all very much for that.

Part of aging is having a parent pass on. We have all experienced it and if we are lucky it is when they are old. My father lived to the ripe age of 97 years old. He had been ready to go for a long time. So, when he left it was sad but also a blessing. He knew his good years on earth were past, and he did not like being a burden, especially to his oldest daughter.

So, memories of him will live on – in many ways. Mostly he will be remembered by what he taught, and how he helped so many people. He raised three kids, and they went on to have four grandchildren, and now six great-grandchildren.

Of those great-grandchildren four of them are my grandchildren. All four were here over the 4th of July week. Oh my!! There was so much activity and laughs! There was lots of love and silliness! When the little ones are around the rest of the world goes away. One day I didn’t even stop to brush my teeth until evening. Ha. Okay, hygiene is still important, but I’m just saying when the children are around this Mimi puts them before everything else.

The cycle of life was obvious to me these past weeks because with my father passing, his generation is gone. I am part of the oldest ones now. I realize how I am in that role, and I have made a cognitive decision to stay connected. I want to be ‘there’ for the young ones. I want to be able to relate to them. I want them to have fun with me like I have fun with them.

In past generations the age divisions and therefore age beliefs were obvious. I think these days (and maybe it’s just from my ‘older’ point of view) but I don’t think we have to have the same categories. It used to be that old people were unchangable. “Set in their ways.” Unwilling to try new things. “That’s how it’s always been done.” Back in my day…. Blah, blah, blah. Old people used to live in the past.

Life definitely has cycles. But they are not ‘defined.’ Not anymore.

I think old people who get stuck in a time from the past lose out on the ‘now.’ And they often don’t care about the future. Or, they don’t look for what joys the days ahead can bring.

As an older individual, a mother, and grandmother, I see my days now as a time to make a difference. I have more time to do it. I have freedom with that time. Thankfully I have endless choices on what I can do – for my family and my community. I am blessed with good health and I believe God has given me it for using.

Life has cycles. Once I was a child, a student, then a teenager, and a girlfriend. I became an employee, a hard worker, then a wife. I was blessed to become a mother, a traveler, a reader, a musician. I have been a daughter and a sister. Now I am also a grandmother. I am an activist. I am a Christian. I am a quilter. I am a dancer.

What will be next in my life? What will I add to my ‘being’?

I look forward to whatever happens as my life continues to cycle.

Well, if you watched last night’s presidential candidates debate with Trump and Biden you know it was a low point for the Democrats. President Biden seemed tired, old, stiff, confused at times, and he hurt his chances for re-election. It was cringe worthy. Hard to watch.

Trump spoke stronger and showed he had more energy. Unfortunately everything he said was filled with lies. He has an unusual ability to spew things quickly and sound like he knows what he is talking about even though it is false. He used a lot of his key phrases. The man is an expert of ‘probably, maybe, and we’ll see.’

We all have been saying for months “this is what we got??” Last night emphasized that we have two candidates that leave a lot to be desired, and in fact, it comes down to which one might be the least worst. Which one will make it through 4 years more?

Sometimes you have to put down on paper the likes and dislikes and see how they add up. So, here goes…

BIDEN POSITIVES: He has lived a life of public service in many areas of government. He is experienced. As president now he has led with calmness. He has put people in his administration who are smart, who work hard – and who stay. Biden supports issues I agree with such as gun safety, improving equality for all, women’s right for their own bodies, and legal abortion options. Biden and Democrats are stronger when it comes to moral and social concerns. He has gone through tragedy in his own life many times and it has made him caring. He also had a son in the military and therefore he puts the men and women of the armed forces top on his list of needs, physical and mental. Jill Biden is an asset. She is a smart First Lady who represents our country well. Pres. Biden is a man of faith, which supports his moral backbone. I think he doesn’t lie because he is a moral, honest man (regardless of what conservative media says.)

BIDEN NEGATIVES: He is very old. He seems quite frail. As I watched him I wondered if he might have early Parkinson’s Disease, something I am familiar with knowing. Biden is slow in his speech (but has also had a stutter issue all his life), stiff when he moves, has trouble showing emotion on his face, and at times gets flusters and frustrated. President Biden does not have a strong VP choice with Kamala Harris. I know why he picked her but I don’t think she has proven to be a good ‘back up’ and that is worrisome. I wish she didn’t act so political all the time. She doesn’t seem genuine. And, with Biden’s age, the VP has to be considered.

TRUMP POSITIVES: He is a schmoozer. He can walk in a room and control it. Trump is only a few years younger than Biden but he does seem to have more energy. I cannot imagine the extreme physical and mental pressure it takes to be a president – it takes almost above-human energy. Trump still gets riled up and spirited at his rallies. He likes to entertain. He leads by intimidation – some like that.

TRUMP NEGATiVES: Well, he is a convicted felon. He has more court cases coming. He can push them off if he becomes president and he knows that. He has made fun of serious judges and others of the justice department. In fact, Trump often makes fun and makes up childish names for people he doesn’t like. He is brash, and mean-spirited, and I truly believe he is a narcissistic psychopath. And, some will say that is what makes him so good. He will do anything to make himself look like a winner. And, therefore he lies all.the.time. He is like the little boy crying wolf in the nursery rhyme. You can believe nothing he says because the lies roll off his tongue so easily. We learned in his presidency that he is hard to work for because a large percentage of his administration left. He had a revolving door of staff members. I fear his ego when it comes to foreign affairs. He still has this belief that the US can ‘make it on their own’ in this world and I disagree. Our world has shrunk through communications, trade, international business, and more. We cannot be an island, left alone when world issues are ongoing. He has a cold heart. And maybe some people like that. I don’t. Trump has shown himself to have very little moral creeds. He is the ultimate ‘good ole boy’ and here in the south that is still secretly admired. He has a wife who has basically disappeared – and I don’t blame her. When it comes to party issues, be it immigration, gun safety, education, and more, I do not align with that way of Republican thinking. Oh, and I believe he fakes his faith. He truly believes he is ‘god-like.’

I haven’t even mentioned January 6th, and the Obama birth lies. And, making up stories about Ted Cruz’s father and belittling his wife, and how he kept going, going, going on the whole election fraud conspiracy theory. I also can not forget how he acted like a baby and did not attend Biden’s inauguration and welcome him to the White House, a tradition and a visual of a civilized change of leadership.

Trump has not announced his VP choice yet.

I could go on…

But, putting down the positives and negatives leaves me with my same belief that Biden is the better man and president. I will never vote for Trump. Never.

I do think this might be the time for a strong Independent to enter the race. The American people are ready for someone else. But, who? Who could be able to walk the lines of both parties, be younger, but presidential, and be intelligent (I still want a smart leader!), caring, and someone without lots of past baggage? Is there someone out there? It’s a big country! There has got to be someone out there! PLEASE!!

Because, what we got…. Biden and Trump, are very sad choices.

Today is a national day of recognition for the ‘stars and stripes.’ According to records that I found online June 14th was the day in 1777 when the Continental Congress approved the design for the new nation’s flag. Since then the flag has changed 27 times, adding stars as states were added to the union. Now we have 50 stars for 50 states, and 13 stripes for the original 13 colonies.

Banks are closed today. Post offices are open. Just about everything is ‘business as usual’ for us.

The US flag is seen everywhere in our country. Of course it is displayed in all federal buildings. But the flag flies over all public schools, in most classrooms, outside of businesses, and homes. I often see it flying on boats as they pass my house on the river.

The Stars and Stripes, in red, white, and blue, can be found on lots of clothing too. Team uniforms. Military uniforms. And it is available in variations on lots of clothing that anyone can purchase in stores or on line. Flags are worn on coat lapels and other pieces of jewelry.

Lately the US flag has become a political sign.

It’s where we are in this country right now. Some are even flying it upside down as a sign that we as a nation are in distress.

We have flown the American flag (right side up) on our property for years. When we moved here the owners before us had already put up a flagpole, so it just made sense for us to fly the flag. We also fly the State of South Carolina flag right below it since it is our home state.

In general, flags are decorations. They are symbols. They are a statement.

The American flag is about patriotism. It means we belong here. We are proud to be here.

It should be about unity.

We are a long way from that right now.

Maybe looking at the US flag today can remind us about it’s creation, about the hopes of the founders, about all the growing pains of our country (the good, the bad, and the ugly), and about how we have to have hope for our country’s future, to hope for a better union.

I sit here and think about how it was for me growing up in the late 1950s and the 1960’s. I was born on the tail end of 1956 so really I do not have memories of the 1950s, of those first 4 years of my life. It’s weird how babies and toddlers learn so much so quickly in their first years of life but yet they don’t have a way to remember people and events from them.

So, my earliest recollection is when I went to kindergarten. It’s just a quick picture in my mind of being in my class, which was only a half day, yet still having a nap or quiet time midway through the morning. The teacher would darken the overhead lights in the room and we would get our mats (I think mine was a small rug) out of our cubbies (or the cloakroom) and lay down for a bit. It was probably only 20 minutes or maybe a half hour. I don’t think anyone fell asleep, or if they did, would stay asleep for very long.

I did not go to preschool before kindergarten. So, kindergarten was the first time of learning. I don’t remember the baby and toddler toys I had at home, but back then they weren’t made to do anything but to enjoy some play. I’m guessing I had the usual: the blocks, a baby doll, etc. and perhaps they were hand-me-downs since I was the third and last child in the family.

So kindergarten back then was much like what we think of as preschool is now. It was about learning numbers and the alphabet, and it was a time of learning to share, and to follow a bit of a structured schedule. It was an introduction to school.

I don’t remember if we had toddler books at home. I don’t remember if my parents read to me when I was really little. That bothers me. I wish I knew. Although, I know back then it was not encouraged as it is now with babies and toddlers. The first books I do remember reading on my own were the Bobbsey Twins series. My real love of reading and books came much later, when I was the chauffeur mom driving my own kids around. I learned to always carry a book with me because I spent a lot of time waiting in my car. This was before cellphones. So, for me it was easier to wait – and read. Once I joined my first book club I was hooked.

I did read to my daughters every night at bedtime. I remember it well because even though the girls had their own rooms, one would come to the others room for bedtime book time. As a mom of young ones it was often the first time I ‘chilled out’ and I remember reading myself to sleep! Sometimes I would be falling asleep and start reading gibberish and my girls would say “Mom, those aren’t the words!” Ha! I also remember hubby coming up to check on me when I didn’t come back downstairs and finding me fast asleep with them.

These days the learning process starts pretty early. My twin grandsons went to preschool and were ready to do a full day of kindergarten this past year. They are learning words and putting sentences together now. They have had books reads to them since birth. Especially, each night before bedtime. My granddaughter goes to daycare which is also a preschool environment. She too seems to pick up many skills early on, and she learns quickly and joyfully.

I think about how important it is to give all children the same opportunity because now schooling doesn’t start with kindergarten. If a child has not gone to a preschool they will walk into a kindergarten classroom already behind some of the other children in the room. It can cause low self-esteem in the child. It can lead to struggles in catching up. It can be the start of a negative feeling about school.

Most preschools cost money. There are some “Head Start” programs around, funded by the government. There are also charitable programs, some run by churches. Here, where I live, is an excellent at-home program called “Miss Ruby’s Kids” where trained volunteers go into homes and teach young children AND their caregivers. Often a parent, or grandparent, does not have the reading ability themselves, and therefore they cannot help the child. This program brings in to the home the teacher, some free books, and other educational toys. Funding comes from caring donors, and matched corporate funds.

When I think back to how I got my early education when I was little, I don’t think my way was really any different from all the other kids at that time. I went to a suburban public elementary school. There were not as many options back then compared to now. Kindergarten was the very first stepping stone and we all started out the same way.

I wish I remembered more from that time back then. I can’t blame my lack of knowing from being old(ish) now. Ha. It’s not that my memories have faded. I never had clear memories from that age. And, back then we didn’t have lots of pictures and selfies and videos like children have now. That may help them recall better when they look back on them.

Even though toddlers don’t remember the specific memories from those years, it is the foundational time of feeling love, and safety, and knowing they are cared for by parents. Studies show that without it a person can have a life full of challenges.

I may not remember specific memories before kindergarten, but thankfully, I always felt that my foundational needs were met – and more.

My blog. My opinion. My view of politics.

For quite a long time now I have watched the leaders of both political parties and I have come up with some views of how I see them.

I have to say that I do not follow any of the conservative media outlets, and I am glad I do not, because I think I would feel the following even more deeply. More sadly. More caught up in wallowing. What I see is that the two parties are very different in how they speak and how they deal with issues.

One is ‘the party of complaints.’

Do you know which one I mean?

One party feels like everyone is out to get them. This party feels like there is a big, bad, but somehow quiet, group (the deep state) that is wanting to take them down. They love to blame this ‘other group’ for going on witch hunts and for having tons of time to work on undermining anything they don’t agree on. This party often speak like little kids, and they act no better.

This party loves to keep citizens in a fearful position. I have seen it over and over. They thrive on using fear. They want us to look at the negative side of everything happening within our country. The way they talk all the time is always to complain, because it is all bad – no good anywhere. There has been absolutely nothing good happening the last four years, and it’s NOT ANY OF THEIR FAULT.

This party has allowed one man to get too much power, and then use the scare tactics (he’s an expert at it), and they continue to stand by him even after the thousands of lies, a truly LOST election (yes, he lost), two impeachments, and after two criminal trials have found him guilty. More cases are pending. Somehow, and I don’t know how, they overlook every mean thing he says and does. And then they….

Complain, complain, complain.

“They are out to get us. They have people in the justice system who want to take us down. They don’t want to help out regular guys like me. They don’t understand how close we live to being in debt. They raise our prices and don’t care. They give handouts. They let illegals in who are taking all our jobs. They bring in all the drugs and get our kids addicted. They want to pay off tuition, but I never got to go to college. It’s not fair. We Christians are losing ground. We deserve to be seen. We started this country, It should be ours.”

Blah blah blah.

The party I speak of is, of course, the Republican Party, which used to be known as the fiscally responsible party. They used to be a party that believed strongly in a work ethic, and in democracy and capitalism, and in letting citizens live free from government restrains. I remember them.

If that was still the case, Republican legislators would be spending their precious time finding ways to get rid of government waste, and they would work for job opportunities, and they would be looking to open new business opportunities, and they would promote advances for America. They would WANT to work with their Democratic counterparts to pass bills and laws.

But they are too busy complaining.

They have become the party that acts like a whiny child, that thinks a bully is just out to get them.

I think it is such a shame to use so much time on all of the negativism, and on blaming others. They could do so much more. They could act like grown ups and work on projects instead of crying all the time about how bad everything is.

It’s interesting that while the Republicans have been complaining, the unemployment numbers have gone down, the economy is coming back from CoVid shutdowns (when we had shortages, transportation problems, etc.), and insulin prices have been capped for many. Covid is no longer a pandemic. Of course, not everything is better – food prices are up due to world shortages and transportation issues. Gas prices are like a roller coaster (but they always are due to supply and demand – and world oil prices.) Housing and rent is too expensive.

Now “they,” the Democrats, are still focused on issues that can move our country forward, and they want to make all citizens live a better life in America. They want medical care – and low prescription prices. They want anyone who wants to go to school to have the opportunity. They want to lower gun violence. They want women to have equal rights and the freedom to do what is right with their bodies. They want to preserve nature.

But, positive change is happening. And, moving forward is always a good thing. Let’s not look back except to learn some lessons. Just stop whining about wanting to make America like it used to be. Stop all the complaining. It’s getting old.

Seriously, sitting back and blabbing without doing anything isn’t a good look. I wonder how those that complain and complain ever get beyond themselves. Maybe they don’t. I mean, look at their leader. Do they prefer to wallow in misery? Do they feel like the bigger person when they continually blame others? Or, do they want people to feel sorry for them?? Are they the ‘pity party?’

The two parties are so very different.

One is always complaining. One isn’t.

Happy June 1st! Before I move on to this new month I still want to say a couple of things about last month.

May is always a good month for me. As I have said in past posts, I love the weather, and I love how my flower garden comes alive. It’s also the month of hubby and my wedding anniversary. (See last post.)

This year I ended May with a quick trip to Nashville, one of my favorite places to go. It takes a lot to get me to leave my ‘home sweet home’ but heading to Music City will do it! On my first evening there I was able to mark something off my bucket list: being in the audience and enjoying the live country music at the Grand Ole Opry. For those who don’t know the history of the Opry, it started out as a radio show that highlighted country music artists who performed live. Almost 50 years ago. WSM was the radio station, and the airwaves were filled with country music when other stations didn’t play lots of music of that genre. The show grew into a live event each week at an old church in Nashville, called The Ryman. For years and years people came and sat in pews and participated in the radio show. In recent history the country music community built its own Grand Ole Opry theatre on the outskirts of town, and it is dedicated to live music still aired on radio to this very day.

The format is usually 6 artists or groups who play three songs each. I was fortunate to see a wonderful mix of some older singers, and some new ones. I also saw some amazing musicians! The lineup was Jeanne Seely (she is in her 80’s now and a long time member of the Opry), Tyler Braden, Maddie and Tae, an amazing harmonica virtuoso Michael McCoy, Earnest, and T. Graham Brown (older too but recently inducted into the Opry.)

Then, the following day and night I met up with a dear ‘old’ (in terms of how long we have known each other) friend, who I first got to know well in high school. Paula and I became fast friends then, back in the day without IPhones, etc. and I remember so well how she would leave her house and walk towards mine and I would leave mine at the same time, and we would ‘meet in the middle’ (and yes that’s a country song!), and we did countless sleepovers, laughed at the same things, and did all the same school activities together.

When we got into college, different ones in Ohio, we stayed in touch, and life continued on – but we always stayed in each others lives, even if long periods of time went by. I think there are only a few childhood friends that remain special throughout life, and she is one of them.

So, the really cool thing is: my girlfriend’s son has broken into the music world thanks to TikTok, and then touring, and people seeing his potential. He is played on Indie radio stations. He played in Nashville my second night in town, so we made a point to go and see him with his band. It was wonderful!! Paula and I were ‘bandies’ in high school (band nerds) and so it is cool to see her son take his musical ability to a whole ‘nother level!

While in Nashville I also did some ‘daytime drinking’ (yes, a country song) at the Lower Broadway honky tonks. A few new ones have opened and I wanted to check them out. Garth Brooks has one now. Eric Church too. Morgan Wallen’s and Lainey Wilson’s bars were getting ready to open up, so I will have to go to those on my next Nashville trip, whenever it might be.

During my time in Nashville the jury went into deliberation in the Trump ‘hush money – falsified documents’ case. As I have written about earlier, I get pretty wrapped up in watching court trials. I also have felt all along that Trump has avoided prosecution for years and he has been guilty of illegal practices. And, I really feel he is an unethical (and immoral) man who does not deserve to be our president again.

So, my time in Nashville was a good distraction. Yet, once the verdicts came in I stayed in my hotel room, ordered room service, and caught up on the aftermath of it.

That leads me to today, June 1st. It’s a new month and we here in the United States now have a convicted felon running for president, almost assured to be the Republican candidate. This is unprecedented in many ways. All the talking heads on the pseudo-news networks have plenty to opine about for the coming months.

I do not watch conservative media outlets. I never have because I don’t relate to their point of view. I also do not watch the ultra-liberal outlets because I easily see their slant too, and really, I just want true and factual news. It is hard to find these days.

The next months up to November and the presidential election are going to be bumpy – and I worry. I feel that especially on the far right we will see a lot of mean talk from candidates and citizens, and even some hot heads will turn to violence. I have lived my life as a pacifist, and I want the same peaceful life for everyone, and I just can’t stand to see people lash out physically, with violence, and with guns. Heaven help us.

Both presidential candidates are old. Both are feeble in their own ways. Will they make it to November? The bigger question: will they make it for four more years??

June is officially the first month of summer and this season always brings vacations, and outdoor activities, and more concerts. I look forward to all it brings! In general, I think it’s easier to be happier in the summer months. There are long days of sun and daylight. Lots of time outside! It’s also a slower pace.

In my family both my daughters have their birthday this month. Both son-in-laws have summer birthdays too. There is always lots to celebrate. All of these grown ‘kids’ are exceptional and I enjoy who they are, and how they have created their own beautiful families. I look forward to spending time with them and their children. Oh, and I have two Tim McGraw concerts coming this month, and one is with daughter #1.

Today we turn the calendar page. So, I say goodbye to May – and hello to June!!

Remember when you were a kid and people that were 40 years old seemed so old? Well, today hubby and I are celebrating a big 4-0 but it’s not our age. It’s our 40th wedding anniversary!!

40 years married! What?!?

I was not a teenage bride either so I am amazed at the milestone that we are now reaching here together.

Before we married both of us had spent a good part of our 20’s on our own, graduating from college, living the single life, starting our careers, and enjoying life with friends. I know for me it turned out to be good timing because I first learned to be self-assured, and to pay my own bills, and to really handle most everything. I was not looking for a man to ‘take care of me’ or to ‘complete me’ as Jerry McGuire said in the movie. I learned I could take care of myself.

Hubby and I knew each other as casual acquaintances first. We hung out with the same group of friends at our local restaurant/bar. We lived in an area of apartments filled with ‘20 somethings’ and we all would meet up after work for food and drinks at the establishment in our local strip shopping center. It was a really fun time in our lives. Reading this back it sounds like an episode of “Friends.” Ha

But, once he took a job in another state, he started thinking of who he could see being with long term, as a partner. He actually made a list of qualities he wanted and then thought of women he knew who had most of them. I was in the top two! Woohoo! I learned this later.

When we started dating we kind of knew that this was ‘it’ quickly. As I remember, our dating started in the early summer of 1983, and then at the beginning of November we got engaged. Back then you could throw together a wedding much more quickly than today, so we married May 26th of 1984. We picked Memorial Day weekend because it gave our guests an extra day for traveling.

Looking back on it I am sure some of our family and friends must have thought it was a rather quick ‘courtship’ (how’s that for an old term?) but we had experienced our share of dating others by then, and we were ready to move on to a new, exciting phase in our lives – together.

Timing is everything!

Yes, I truly believe that timing is important when it comes to relationships. Had we both been younger we would not have been ready to commit to each other. I also felt from the beginning that God had a hand in putting us together. We both had gone through failed relationships in the past. And, for some reason when we got together we clicked. Who can explain it?!

So, we were ‘ready’ and we were of the age for commitment and an adventure together. 1984.

Our years of growing together, and having our daughters, and moving around the country with job changes, made us strong – because in a way it was us against the world. Shortly after our wedding we moved across the country from Virginia to California for a job opportunity. We knew nobody else. Family was all on the eastern half of the US. We had a new home, new jobs, and a baby on the way.

As the early years went on by we continued to move with career changes for hubby, and then we had another daughter.

Thankfully, once our girls got school age we were able to settle in in one town so their elementary through high school years were in one place: New Jersey. I remember asking hubby how long he thought his new job would have us living in New Jersey and he said 4 or 5 years. Well, we lived in there for 12 years! It gave our daughters stability, and a great education. But, I must admit it challenged me the whole time. Oh New Jersey. Ha!

In all we have moved nine times. (I learned company moves are easier than ‘doing it yourself.’)

What I also learned from the many moves, and from the changes in our lives, is that you make it work because it is what you want together. We never disagreed on that. We still don’t disagree about accepting the changes and making the best of them.

40 years means accepting lots of changes, and learning to go with the flow, to always prioritize our family, and to look forward to what comes next. Hubby and I still do that.

40 years means growing old together.

40 years means knowing each other better than any other human being on this planet.

40 years means allowing independence too.

40 years means looking back at a ton of memories with a huge smile.

40 years means we have gone from parenting to grandparenting.

40 years means lots of laughing.

40 years means accepting differences.

40 years means sharing experiences.

40 years means unconditional love.

Welcome to the first day of the Memorial Day weekend. Monday is Memorial Day but it is really the travel day for those who have gone to the beach or mountains for a little getaway. It’s the day to get back home to get ready for work again.

So, ahead of time, I hope we take a little bit of time to remember at some point over the weekend and honor all of those who have given their lives while serving in one of our military forces.

It’s a good time to remind ourselves that those who died in action did it to preserve our democratic way of life here in the United States of America. They did it to make sure dictators of other countries don’t use their power to take us over. They died in hopes that all our children will get to continue to live the “American dream.”

We live in a wonderful place. The United States was founded with much thought about how this land should offer endless possibilities for everyone here. The writers of the Constitution had seen what had gone wrong in other places, and because of it they fled from England, wanting to start a better system, one where everyone counted, where everyone was equal.

All of those who have put their lives on the line (and given their lives) since our country’s inception are being memorialized this weekend.

Throughout the years our country has faced many challenges from outside, and yes, from inside.

Right now we are definitely dealing with a group within the United States who want to change the American Dream. There is a group who want to take away freedoms, who wants to hold power over others, who want to say who is allowed in and who is out.

Democracy as we know it is at risk. And as I try to understand why this group wants to change our system of checks and balances, and change our 3 equal branches of government, and too often disregards our ‘united’ states vs. separate states, I hope this is a wake up call for us all. We can never be lazy about it. We can not take for granted our system of government. It is tested all the time. Thankfully, so far it has survived.

But we have new kinds of attacks. Technology is a big one. The misuse of social media, putting out lies after lies and conspiracy theories, and the use of network TV outlets that lean every story for pushing an agenda. It has done so much damage.

The other new attack we face comes out of the mouths of our own political leaders. They continually speak lies as truth. They totally disregard facts and are vulgar to others who think differently. It has been nonstop to the point of thinking it is normal. But – it should never be normal.

When I think of all of those we will honor this Memorial Day weekend, and all that they fought for – to preserve our democracy – I am saddened, and I wonder what they would think seeing this America right now.

Perhaps this weekend we can think deeper about how to come back together, to be respectful to all, to remember that our country was founded on a beautiful democratic system with values of equality and fairness. It is an ongoing challenge. But our lost ones deserve us to try better.