I have had a busy couple of weeks and I finally have some quiet time today at home. It seems like a good time to write about this and that.

First, how is May halfway over already? It is one of my favorite months so of course it seems to fly by. If only January went this fast. Right?

Part of my time has been spent with helping and hanging out with my daughter and her family. She just had a new little baby girl so it has been a pleasure to hold the newborn and to help keep the 3 year old busy. These are special moments for sure. And they go by quickly. My older grandchildren, the twins, are already ‘little kids’ now busy with school and baseball, video games, etc. They are 6 1/2 and I find myself asking: How did that happen??

I also just got back from going with my daughter to a Tim McGraw concert. I have lost count on how many times I have seen him and his band live over the years. Maybe a dozen times. Probably more! There are a few artists that you never get tired of seeing in concert. I have a few, but Tim is my favorite. When I decided to listen to country music years ago I bought a Tim McGraw Greatest Hits CD. I wore it out. I started listening to all kinds of country music (really I have loved it all my life but I made the effort when I moved south). Over time, now in the download era, I have every Tim McGraw album on my phone. I love so many of the album cuts that have never made radio airplay. Of course, I also love the hits, and he has many of them. Part of the love of country music is how fans come together and sing together. We know the lyrics! Words are important. As they say: it’s 3 chords and a story! It’s storytelling.

Some of my days in May have been spent watching the Trump trial in Manhattan. This is the one where he is accused of knowing about, and wanting to lie on documents about ‘hush money’ being repaid to his ‘fixer’ Micheal Cohen. Trump had an affair with Karen McDoogel, but he also had a one night ‘wham bam thank you ma’m’ with a porn star, Stormy Daniels, and it is the money paid to her by Cohen, then reimbursed to Cohen, that was covered up. Why? To hide it from Americans about to vote? I find court trials interesting. I wish we could watch the Trump trial but since we can’t the reporters are sending out much of the happenings in the courtroom via text messages. I like listening to the on air lawyers and reporters as they analyze what is happening. I like to know as much as I can before I make an opinion.

That leads me to this: Lately I have been writing some posts about my childhood. I was just an average student in high school. I got mostly B’s, a few A’s, and even once got a D. I must not have applied myself much or felt the push to get better grades. Once I got to college I did do better and I graduated cum laude. I got my degree. I got my first job through a college internship my senior year. One of the reasons it worked out for me is that I was hard working, and did whatever was asked of me, and I was always kind. I learned so much from the people I worked for and with, at all my jobs over the years. I worked in radio and TV and I was just happy to be among the pros. One person I admired was a woman, Denise Oliver, who was the Program Director at the radio station where I worked, and she also had a daily on-air shift. It was rare for a woman back then to hold a management position. Denise was a perfect mix of seriousness, honesty, drive, and she remained a feminine woman. For a short time I was lucky enough to be her assistant. She moved on to a national broadcasting business out of New York.

The reason I write of Denise is that right now, in the news, we are reeling from the graduation speech given by Kansas City Chiefs kicker Bukner. He addressed the group of young people, who were about to receive their diplomas after 4 or more years of study, and instead of lauding that, he spoke of being a wife and mother. He was a man telling women that their purpose and greatest joy was in the home.

Well, for many women, yes, getting married and having children is very fulfilling. it is for me! I don’t know what direction my life would have taken me if I had not met my husband, had our daughters, and now our beautiful grandchildren. But, I do know that I had an education as a foundation, and I had work experience and I loved my vocation – and I would have been a happy and successful woman. I have always had belief in myself because I know I can take care of myself. As far as I know Denise never married and she became an amazingly successful woman in her career – and she was and is happy. We women make our ways by making our own choices.

Hmmm. And that should not be only in business. A woman’s life includes deciding on if and when to have a child. It’s a personal decision. Government has no place in that decision.

Separating government from religion…

That leads me to today – that it is Pentecost. Today is the day when the Christian faith I grew up in celebrates the day the Holy Spirit descended on to the people, and they had little tongues of fire over their heads. My Lutheran background tells me that God is a triune God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The spirit moves upon us, and can be like a little nudge, to help us, to quietly speak to us, to teach us the ways of the Father and the Son. Pentecost is also considered the Birthday of the Church. The people, filled with the Holy Spirit, left their homes, travelled, and spread the Word of God to people in other lands.

I’m going to end this so I can turn on the golf tournament in a few minutes. Sundays is always a great day to watch the final rounds. This one is a bit unusual with the arrest of the Number 1 golfer in the world, pro Scottie Scheffler, on Friday morning. What a crazy thing! What I know of Scottie is that he is a humble, and quiet guy. He never creates controversy. He just became a daddy for the first time. So, whatever happened with the cop that morning just seems like it must have been a big misunderstanding, and it was certainly nothing Scottie intentionally did. But, yet, I support the police and know they have a difficult job every single day.

One thing I have learned in all my years is that life is full of nuances. Small actions can change things. There is often no black and white. We must keep that in mind and take time to hear both sides – be it golf, or politics, or religion, or women’s rights and choices.

Do we judge before giving someone the benefit of innocence? Do we think WE KNOW better and we don’t allow for other possibilities??

Do we offer our opinions as just that…. And not judgements on others?

Good Monday morning and Happy May to you! May is one of my favorite months of the year. Spring is here, and my flowers are blooming brilliantly! My perennials surprise me in May when they come back after the garden has been cold and empty. The weather is warm now, and around here I enjoy the occasional thunderstorm. My garden does too. (My heart goes out to those who have suffered from the outbreak of tornadoes. It’s been a bad month in the Midwest already.)

May has a couple of holidays, the kind I like, because they don’t bring on any stress for me. No need for lots of shopping or decorating. No expectations. Just fun.

Thoughts rattling around my brain this morning:

What is wrong with a woman who openly writes about shooting her dog and a goat? I mean. Why? Why do it? Why write about it? I know some people grow up on farms and ranches and have a different viewpoint about ‘livestock’ and don’t get personally connected to animals. But, dogs… dogs are pets. They become family members. Yes, some are used for hunting – which is a whole ‘nother topic to get into at another time. I have loved many dogs and I sometimes prefer them over people. They are loyal and loving. Shooting a puppy (it was under 2 years old) is just cold and heartless. And, then to write about it? Wow. I don’t get it.

The Trump trial continues this morning. Have you watched any of it yet? Please, don’t be a person who puts your head in the sand and just wants to ignore the illegal behavior of this man. It’s too important. This is the first trial with others to come, though not fast enough. But, if you haven’t realized yet, there is a pattern to his behavior. I feel a ‘need’ to write about the subject of Trump because too many people still don’t seem to have open eyes to the man. These people are tuned into the fake news outlets and to the lying social media sites. They have been told that we are the ones who have been fooled, but it’s the other way around.

Yesterday I had two different examples of homosexual fear show up. First, I rang handbells with a group at a Methodist church that has left the UMC and has now joined a World Methodist organization. I knew that the split facing the Methodist churches was over acceptance, or lack of, homosexual marriages, homosexual pastors, and homosexual weddings performed in the churches. After playing during the worship service yesterday there was a meeting in the sanctuary about the changes in the church. (Does anybody else besides me see the irony of calling the room a sanctuary?) While I put my bells away I listened to the updates and my heart hurt. People speaking of homosexuals as ‘others’ or as ‘something else’ than individual, loving human beings. Another bit of irony from my point of view: the sermon given just minutes earlier was about living a Christian life, following Jesus, and His Great Commission to go and be fishers of men. In other words, go out into the world, teach about Jesus, be an example of his teachings, and live a life of love for everyone.

Then a neighbor came by and visited us yesterday evening. Hubby, and I enjoy sitting on our screened porch with him from time to time. Our conversations are always interesting. Somehow we got to talking about attending church, and Christian beliefs as far as homosexuals. As I said, our talks are not dull!! My neighbor is certainly not alone in what he said, but I tried to figure out if he was speaking from a place of fear… or believing that God doesn’t like homosexuals and condemns them, or what. I said God does not make mistakes and I believe homosexuals are born being that way just as we are as heterosexuals. We did not choose our sexuality.

The subject was changed. I have always believed that if you don’t understand something, then at least give it the consideration it deserves. Saying ‘no’ to something like sexual orientation is close-minded, and it is not showing God’s love for all. My two cents. Seriously, I can’t imagine being a person trying to live your true life and having Christians not believe you. And worse, not being considered as equal in the eyes of God. (Truth: we are ALL equal in the eyes of God.)

Okay, change of subject…

Well sort of…

As a child I thought like a child. Thank God for that. The serious, debatable topics never entered my mind. But, by the time I got into my 20’s I had a foundation for my beliefs. I can only think it came from my parents and family life, from the schools I went to, from peers who I felt comfortable hanging with, and my own innate personality. All of those aspects made me think how I do now.

It is the same for others. Nobody can escape their foundation. But, life doesn’t stand still – and it never should. A closed mind tries to stop the moving forward, and it stops the ability to accept not knowing everything, or being able to grow by learning more.

I admit I struggle to find people who feel the same way. I can’t find friends who want to discuss, to learn, to accept. I find too many with closed minds. It has turned me inward. It has made my writing here important to me.

So, I sit here on the couch with my sweet dog on one side of me, and my kitty cat snuggled up on the other side.

I’m getting ready to head out for the day. It’s a beautiful May Day…. And I’m going to my weekly church quilting group (that never talks about issues) to help make warm gifts of love, and to a handbell rehearsal after it. We will work on making a joyful noise to the Lord…. A musical fit to the one who loves us all. The one who gets us even when we don’t always get each other.

As I sit and listen to the CNN reporters and lawyers give the ‘play by play’ of Trump’s Trial on Hush Money and Falsified Documents to cover it up, I thought I’d go back in time again. As I did in my last post, I will write a little about a childhood memory.

I am closer to 70 then 60 years old now – which I truly can’t believe. All of my adults years (so far!) I have remained very healthy and I know it has not been due to anything specific that I have DONE, but more that I have some good genes and have lived with enough education to know what is good for my body. In general, moderation in life may be considered ‘safe’ and even boring, but moderation in eating and in exercise has done me well.

Up to this point, as an adult I have only been admitted in to the hospital twice. They were for both of my daughters’ births. Both were c-sections. The first one came as a surprise when my doctor realized at the last minute that my baby was in a breech position. She was ‘butt first’ and could not get herself down the birth canal. My second c-section was planned because my doctor said it was my choice, and ‘V-backs” (vaginal birth after a cesarean) were not always successful.

This post is about my only other hospital stay, when I was 10 years old. Leading up to it my mother had noticed a bump on my right leg, below my knee. It looked to be the size of half of an egg sitting under the skin. As I recall, the doctor did not do a needle biopsy, and he felt it would be best to do surgery to remove it, and then send some cells off to the lab for a diagnosis. Thinking back on it now I’m sure my parents were concerned about what the bump was. I had not injured my leg. I did not have pain from it. So, perhaps cancer was a concern. If so, they kept it to themselves. My surgery was successful. I had 27 stitches in a large S shape below my knee. The procedure took place at “Babies and Children’s Hospital” in Cleveland, Ohio.

I remember sharing a hospital room with a younger girl. I want to say she was 7 years old, and she had had heart surgery. I think she had been there recovering before I arrived, before I became her roommate. She seemed to be doing okay. Thankfully. I stayed in the hospital for a few days. I remember I had to show the doctor that I was able to move my leg and that I could get up and down, and move myself around. I used my left leg under my bandaged right leg to lift it and get around. I went home on crutches.

Once home my mother set me up on our back screened porch. As a ten year old girl I recovered quickly and I remember liking some of the special attention I was getting.

The biopsy showed no cancer. It was called a calcium deposit. I don’t know why I got it. I didn’t ever get one anywhere else on my body. I healed and was able to go on my merry way.

One lasting effect from the surgery and healing was that my right leg is now an inch or two longer than my left leg. The doctor said because I was a kid and I was growing, my cells worked overtime on that leg. Ha! There have been times that I feel like it has given me some mild back pain and pulls. And, I am aware that I tend to stand on my shorter leg.

My scar remains on my leg. Even after decades it is still quite visible.

My surgery was in the summer of 1966.

I was fortunate to have a good experience and outcome.

I am fortunate now to have these as my only hospital stays. But, as I age on I know I may end up there again sometime. God bless all those in hospitals who care for children to old people with their medical knowledge and lots of tender loving care.

Lately I have been wanting to blog, but not always about politics and issues that we face in America these days. So I googled ‘writing prompts’ and there are a ton of sites that can give ideas and subjects to consider.

One I thought might be fun is this: List and explain 5 things that I remember well from my childhood. So, here goes…

Let me first say, it is sometimes hard to separate my own memories on some things versus what others have said and from seeing photographs from my early years.

This list is in no particular order.

1. I remember when I was in 7th grade my parents decided to take me out of the Cleveland Heights, Ohio public school system due to concern about roughness in the schools. Both my older sister and older brother went to the very large middle school there (was it named Kirk Jr. High?) and I specifically remember that they wore ‘uniforms’ of collared shirts and pants for the boys, and ‘midi’ blouses (cotton, with a sailor style neckline) and skirts for the girls.

This was in the mid – to late 60’s and there was a lot of racial unrest, and I remember my brother was fearful going to and leaving school because ‘bullies’ hung out around the school and on his path to walk home. They acted tough, and stole things from other students.

So, by the time I was ready to head off to middle school, my parents chose to pay tuition and send me to St. John’s Lutheran School for 7th grade. My father was a Lutheran pastor so I suppose he had an ‘in’ for getting me enrolled. Some of my classmates from Caledonia Elementary also transferred with me so I already knew a few of the kids and that helped. Many memories stick out during that pivotal year.

One memory was that I played my flute with Sandy Suppes on clarinet at a band program. We worked for weeks on the duet and we had it down. And, thankfully, the piece went well – and I remember my mom saying what a good job we did. I was proud that she was proud.

I also remember that I got accused of talking in class when I was not supposed to, and I was very offended by it. I have always been a rules follower so I felt I was not guilty. Another girl was trying to talk to me, so we both got reprimanded. Our punishment was to have to stay after school for detention. Well, I lived pretty far away from the school so I missed the bus during the detention days, and I had to have one of my parents pick me up. One day though, a girlfriend and I decided to walk home. It took an hour and a half or so. Obviously there were no cellphones back then so I remember being in big trouble once I got home.

7th grade is an interesting time of growing! Right? I remember the boys being immature still and thinking it was funny to ‘snap’ the back of girls’ bras. I also remember it was the first time playing ‘spin the bottle.’ Ha! It was at school, and I remember sitting in a circle with a group of classmates, boys and girls… and ‘having’ to kiss whoever the spun bottle landed on. Mind you, it was a ‘peck’ but I was nervous because I had liked Steve Brady since 4th grade. He was in the circle. I don’t think we kissed. I don’t remember that we did and I think I would have remembered had it happened.

2. Going back in time, I had a teacher in 2nd grade named Miss Reed. I remember her name because she scared me. She seemed like an old bitty in my young eyes. She was mean, and she even inspected our fingernails to see if they were dirty, or if we bit them down.

3. My fourth grade teacher was the opposite. Ms. Hayes. She was kind. I remember that she kept a bottle of hand lotion on her desk and often used some and worked the lotion into her hands while talking with us. She was tall and had a pretty smile. I think I even ‘got’ to stay after some days and clean the chalk board and stamp out the erasers of chalk on the stoop of the classroom door that led outside. I remember doing it – as a nice thing. Not a punishment. During that time we still had recess right after lunch. We’d go out on the blacktop behind school and the girls would play “Chinese jump rope” (how not politically correct!) It was an elastic rope tied in a circle, that then went around the legs of two girls, and the other girls would take turns jumping in the middle, and making designs, etc. Fourth grade was also when we got ‘music time’ with flute-a-phones. I did okay with it, thanks to having taken piano lessons and knowing a little bit about notes and scales and such.

4. Back to 7th grade…. As it turned out I only went to that Lutheran school for one year. My dad took a new pastoral position in a smallish town called Bucyrus, Ohio. It’s near Mansfield for those that know Ohio. For those that don’t, it is halfway between Cleveland and Columbus. I started 8th grade in the middle school there. What I remember? Band. I played flute and shortly after I started there another girl named Noreen moved in to town too and also played flute. We bonded. I also remember going to my first dance there. It was held on the gym floor, which was raised up to double as a stage for the theatre. I think “Stairway to Heaven” was the big song then. And “Jeremiah was a bullfrog…” The girls hung together in groups. The boys stood together too. The only boy I remember who asked me to dance was a kid who ‘bless his heart’’ was a bit slow minded and had no rhythm.

5. Eighth grade also introduced me to Paula. She and her family moved into town, and they moved in directly across the street from Noreen. Paula was also in band. She played trombone! I guess that was a rebel choice at the time. Boys played trombone – not girls! She became my bestie along with Terri, and I can’t remember how Terri and I first hooked up. Maybe she or Paula remembers. We were called “The Three Musketeers” for the following years we were all together at BHS. We joined clubs together. Ate lunch together. Even were in school plays together. Paula and I were musical. Terri was athletic and she became a cheerleader.

Childhood friendships never go away. oh, many years can pass with little correspondence. But there is a place in the heart for those who you grow up with, and going through the experiences of teenage angst and all the goofiness and laughs together. I have recently reached out to both Paula and Terri. Thanks to email and social media it’s not hard to do, and response is quick. As it happens, Paula and I are going to meet up in Nashville at the end of May to see her youngest son perform. He, Michael Marcagi, has turned into a TikTok and Instagram sensation as a singer songwriter. He is in Europe touring right now. I follow him on IG. Gee, maybe he got his love of music from his mother and her band background!

Well, I listed really more than 5 childhood school memories just now. Once I got thinking it got me remembering more and more. A different time. Cherished memories.

Perhaps some of you reading this, who are about my age, can go back too and think back to that time and your experiences. I hope it makes you smile.

There is so much going on in the news these days. All of the many Trump trials and pre-trial issues, and the Supreme Court hearing the important cases on presidential immunity and abortion, and then individual state decisions…. And now the campus protests about the Israel – Gaza/Hamas war.

It is hard to keep track of everything, and to get true information, especially these days with so many sources that have their own agendas and slants.

One thing I do know – is that I do not know. What I mean is I have to do work, and read, and listen, and still I will never know everything about a subject. I do not know the history that leads to where we are with many of these issues. But, I am trying to learn. And, I do not know how the people directly involved really feel. I do know people are playing games with us as we try to keep up with the news.

Right now, I do not get the full picture about what is happening on some of the campuses across our country. I know that young people are getting emotional, and that they have found a problem they see in the world that is really affecting them. And it should. I am all for peaceful protests. I actually like seeing young people come out, and express themselves about how they feel. I have noticed that the escalations at protests (at least what I see on on videos) seem to happen once the police come in and try to break up the gatherings. I am not sure why they feel the need to do that. Except, I have heard that Jewish students feel nervous and I know that is not right. College campuses should be safe environments for teens and young adults as best as possible.

The attack by the terrorist group Hamas on to the Israeli people was heinous. It was beyond acceptable and it was certainly something the Israel government had to respond to, and they had to immediately work on getting back the hostages that were taken. As the months of killing, of this horrible war, have gone on, we have continued to see unimaginable destruction and death. Basic needs of food and shelter for the innocent people of Palestine is gone. There really is NO good of any kind happening anywhere in that area, the land of the birth of Christianity. And of course the land that the Jewish people have claimed as their promised land. The piece of land where many religions look at as the foundational spot. Moses walked there. Jesus walked there.

I know that the campus protests are aimed against Biden and the US government because they choose to provide Israel with financial and military support. I get the protests. It’s really hard to understand how we as a country can ‘take a side’ instead of working both sides to help them find peace. I think Sec. of State Blinken is doing that though. And, as this post is about, I really do not know all that has gone into trying to bring this horrible war to an end. But I do know some very bright negotiators are hard at work.

I know that I do not know. So I don’t want to take sides and for now I pray that peace can somehow come to the land.

I also don’t know about all the issues at our southern border. I’m not there. I have not spoken directly to those working the border. I have to rely on media sources, hoping the statistics they tell are accurate. I do not know what is in the hearts of those who have come to our border looking for a way in, and a way to start a new life. Some will say they are mostly terrible people, bringing in drugs, taking American jobs, increasing crime in our country. But others say that is not true, and that it is political talk used to divide us by political party leanings. I have seen news pieces about young families waiting at the border, hoping to come in and just have a small piece of the American dream. They want safety for their families, better job opportunities, education for their children, and really all the things those of us born here want also.

I know that I do not know. There are problems with our immigration system for sure. I know that putting smart and serious minds towards finding a better way is needed. More funding is needed. Problems won’t be solved without a real positive effort, a humane effort, and with working together. We haven’t had that yet. It’s become a political volleyball, and it’s not fair to the people waiting.

I know that I don’t know. So, I hope for the best outcome for those needing our help, and for the people there on the border, and for those first hand at the border, who are dealing with the influx. I pray that we look at all people as God wants us to see them, as neighbors, and as people just like us, wanting to live in peace, to provide, to work, and to be accepted.

I know I don’t know about the behind the scenes, private life of any president of the United States. I have never known a president personally. I did get to shake President Biden’s hand when he was campaigning and he came to my town. I sat and listened to him at a town hall gathering. That’s as close as I have gotten. But, all of the other presidents of my lifetime have been someone I know of only through media reporting and from watching speeches, appearances, and press conferences. I know some of their history. Not all of it. But today with social media and phones with cameras everywhere I know more of the last couple of presidents then the ones that led our country when I was a younger. I also have had more time as an older person to do my own research, to read books about them, to watch congressional hearings, and now to watch the Trump trials.

I know I don’t know everything about Trump or Biden. I do know that half of what I hear is probably not true. We are living in a time of really over-the-top, and distasteful, political fights. It amazes me how low some will go to win an election. Integrity, honesty, kindness, respect – all these attributes seem to be gone. Did Trump do illegal things to win? And then when he lost a second term and he claimed a ‘stolen election’ theory (he says it to this day), was there any truth to it?

I know I do not know. But I have my eyes and ears open. I am glad we will find out through our justice system. Trump has already been found guilty of defamation in court. Out of his own mouth, he shows us he likes to put down others, to make fun of people with disabilities, and vets, and others, and I find it very disturbing. I also know that the trial happening now will tell us if he did interfere with the campaign for president by hiding payoffs with false documents. (Covering up sexual affairs – one happened while his wife was home with a new baby.). The other cases coming up will tell us if he had a big hand in the January 6th insurrection, and whether or not he purposely took and hid classified documents.

I watched the Congressional committee investigation that led to Trump’s impeachment. I wanted to know.

Trump has shown me what kind of a person he is. I find him very disappointing and because he lies so much I do not believe anything he ever says.

As for Biden, I have watched to see what connection he had with his son Hunter and if there was a money trail of illegal actions when Biden was vice president. So far, nothing has been proven. Republicans have sure been trying to find something. I don’t know much about Biden except that he seems to sincerely value family, and he is working towards moving our country forward to a place where all who live here will have equal opportunities. Yes, I align with the Democratic platform on issues. So, yes, I lean that way.

But I know I do not know.

Nobody knows everything. We tend to talk like we do. Pride and personal beliefs lead us to opinions. OPINIONS.

But we do not know.

I admit it: I jumped on the Taylor bandwagon – or train – late. But I am on it now and I just want to say a few words about this amazing woman.

First, oh yes, I have known about Taylor Swift for years. I loved her very first song on country radio called “Tim McGraw” for obvious reasons. I mean, writing a song about a Tim McGraw song…. Well, yes, it got my attention. And then I loved “Teardrops on my Guitar” that followed it. Then came a fun song and video called “Our Song.”

I watched her videos on CMT and learned about how this young girl went up and down Music Row in Nashville to sell her songs. She had the whole package: pretty, young, daring, some musical ability, and being her own epic songwriter.

When she decided to ‘branch out” and leave country music radio I admit I was a little annoyed. What? Country music is not good enough for you? So, I put her on my back burner, and I really didn’t invest my time in knowing her songs for awhile. My daughters were huge fans and I was fine with it because Taylor was such a good role model. Her words spoke to teenage girls and I liked that she wrote without crude language and she didn’t act shockingly on stage. You know what I mean.

I still heard her hits on the radio. I liked them.

It wasn’t until she became more of a woman, a self assured one, not afraid to speak her mind, and always doing it with kindness, did I check in with her again. I googled, and started watching some interview shows where Taylor appeared, and I listened to how intelligent, and how funny, she was. I liked what she said. I liked how she looked. Beautiful – and never trashy.

I admired how Taylor was someone who spoke and wrote as an ‘open book’ with nothing to hide. She became relatable. To me and to so many.

When the ERAS tour started and I started hearing about the love fest each concert was, I watched as stadiums full of young women bonded together, and how they knew all her words. They dressed in era clothes, and those beaded bracelets took on a life of their own. The concerts were all a celebration of girlhood and womanhood.

Taylor has always been philanthropic. She is an empathetic person who cares deeply about her fans. She does quirky things for them. She relates just as one of them because she has fandom for other performers. She gets it. Taylor gives back in more ways than we know. But, the ways we do know are huge! And she is never pompous about her giving.

When she was touched by Travis Kelce’s attention (he wanted to give her a beaded bracelet) she responded like a normal young woman would. A bit giddy. She loves being in love – and she shows it. And, she writes about it. She started following him to watch his football games. Her fans did too. It was really very cute.

They seem like a good couple. Both are tops in what they do, and both had great childhoods, good family values, and handle stardom with some humor. I hope it works out because I think they both want the same thing going forward. But we shall see.

I am really glad that Taylor Swift is so big right now. She has done it her way, with lots of talent, hard work, smarts, and always with grace. It’s very awe inspiring really. She is such a wonderful role model to girls and to women everywhere, in America and around the world.

I’m on board. I am riding the Taylor train now. I have watched her ERAS movie – and was blown away by it. The beauty of it. The amazing ‘show’ with scenes (eras), dancing, and of course ALL the music!! But, I have some catching up to do with listening to all her music. I love lyrics and she is famous for hers. It’s going to take a deep dive, especially now with even more music just released.

So, here I go.

The past couple of weeks have been busy ones for me. Good and tiring busy times. I spent 8 days with my daughter who has the new baby and a 3 year old. Then I drove and spent a day with my other daughter and her family, and I brought the 6 1/2 year old twin boys home for a few days since they are ‘tracked out’ of school right now. They were here until yesterday.

This morning I am catching up on emails, and taking a bit of time to get the house in order, and of course, time to sit here and pass along a few thoughts.

While traveling this past week I listened to a new podcast from John Dickerson, called “Navel Gazing.” John is a long time newsman, a writer, and a historian. Since his college years he has kept a notebook in his back pocket, literally writing down his thoughts, funny conversations, important milestones, and really everything that happened to him each day. He has decided to go back to the beginning of his note taking and revisit them, using them to turn into a podcast. I loved listening to his first one. You can find it on Slate.com. John talks on it about why he writes and I connected with what he said. Writing is expressive, individual, and lasting.

So, here I write.

Two days ago OJ Simpson died. Quickly there have been memes popping up on social media. Some quite funny. It is his legacy. The man, who was once a gifted and famous football player, then actor and spokesman, became the name of someone who ‘got away with murder’ literally. When he was on trial it was televised so the country could watch, including me. The judge, the defense attorneys, the state attorneys, and even witnesses, all became famous from appearing on TV. Everyone had an opinion. I watched the whole trial and thought without a doubt that OJ was guilty. The evidence showed a man with a blowup anger problem, a physically strong man, and he was jealous, and his ego was hurt by his divorce. His ex-wife had a restraining order against him. The DNA showed blood in his bedroom and the timeline that was laid out showed he could have killed his ex-wife and her friend, gotten home, cleaned up, and then packed, got in the limo, and off to the airport. He even had injuries on his hands.

But, as we know, the jury found him not guilty. I remember that I was with my husband and we were walking off the Farmstead golf course when someone coming on it said the verdict was in and OJ was free. I knew the jury had started deliberating but I never thought it would be decided so quickly. And I did not expect that outcome. I was shocked.

I grew up never exposed to the division of races of the real world. I went years before understanding that people of various colors had beliefs and stereotypes. I felt justice was equal for everyone. So, the OJ Simpson trial was eye opening to me.

Of course since then I have seen how treatment for blacks and for other colors is different than those with caucasian skin like mine. Unfortunately time and time (and time and time) again it still happens and now with cellphones we all witness it so much more often, more than we ever want to see.

Prejudice is not born within us. It is taught. It is passed down in families. It comes from fear. Perhaps some ignorance. And it comes from those who think they should be better than others.

It is raising it’s ugly head right now at the southern border. Now, let me say first, yes, we have a big problem with people trying to sneak in to our country illegally. I know many in our country are not happy about it. Our immigration system needs more money put into it, and smart minds to create a better way so we can handle the influx, and then we can help them assimilate into our country. I believe if people are given an easy, quicker way to apply to come in, and we processed them in a timely manner then the numbers of those sneaking in would go way down.

The fact that these people coming to the southern border look different, and that they speak a different language, makes it easy to put them in a category where prejudice flourishes. (They are outsiders. Not like me.) Then add in all the false information spread that immigrants will take away our jobs, and steal, and sell drugs, and murder…. And woooo. Well, here we are. So, here’s a fact check for you: these people do not take any jobs from Americans already working. Most immigrants work labor heavy jobs in fields, and in hotel rooms. Hard jobs that don’t make much money. They don’t want to steal because they want to stay here. They don’t want to draw attention to themselves. In recent years I have heard of 2 cases where an illegal immigrant murdered someone. Want to compare that to all the murders from the people who are born citizens of the US? Don’t get me started on our gun climate, and how we quickly kill each other.

There is one man, you know who he is, that loves to spew all the fake facts about immigrants – to rile people up and to have them think he is with them, and he says he will immediately make the border issue go away if he is elected. (Remember how the Mexicans would pay for it? He was unable to do it when he was president for four years.) He really makes no sense most of the time, and deflects by instead blaming others. He has no answers, no real plans, yet people follow him, and they hope he can return our country to how it was before so many immigrants came to America.

Ha. oh wait!!! Our history is forgotten. “Bring us your tired and poor.” We are a country of immigrants. All our descendants came from somewhere else. And, all came looking for a safe place to live, a warm home, a community with similar goals to raise children, to live in peace, and to enjoy their best life possible.

My family came from Germany. Leaving their homeland behind, crossing the Atlantic on a ship, starting out with very little, just wanting a chance, a little bit of land, and having faith that it would all work out.

How did we get so turned around from then? Why do we feel so entitled?

Prejudice.

Page two.

What do we teach our children and Grandchildren? Do we pass along these prejudices? Do we show them that it is okay to look at others as ‘less than’?? Or – Do we live as examples to them – and show them how to live with love for all?

After the last 2 weeks of time with my grandchildren I see that they are really sponges. They don’t miss a thing. I spied them pausing, thinking about something they would see or hear. I could almost see their little brains taking it in and trying to figure it out. You know that look.

Grandchildren can be exhausting when you realize how important time with them is. Teaching the right lessons takes patience, and it takes continuity. It is not easy! Our words and our actions matter.

I believe it really does take a village to raise kids up and to make them happy and caring people, and to teach them that they are unique and wonderful individuals, and they have an important place in this world. Too many children don’t get the benefits that come from a village. It takes parents and grandparents, and teachers, and neighbors, and librarians, and volunteers, church members, and coaches, and really anyone who is kind, and gives a smile, who cares, and lends a hand.

Page Three

When a child doesn’t get all he or she needs from the village and then acts out badly we never blame ourselves. It’s somebody else’s problem. Right? The child ‘slipped through the system.’ Or they came from a broken home. Or they didn’t study hard enough. They just didn’t try. We then have a young person that will become a teen with no direction. Or, a teen who doesn’t care if he steals, or bullies, or escapes with drugs. As a society we want to punish him, and even put him in prison. And, really, by that time our laws do require it for a civilized and safe society.

We all are responsible for those who fail. We look away. We don’t give time or money. We live in a dog eat dog world. We like a pecking order and nobody wants to reach down to lift someone up.

I believe we need to spend lots of our tax money for preschool and early childhood programs. We can’t wait. It has to start at a young age. I also believe if we do, then we will be able to spend less on incarceration, on mental health, on other social programs.

Page Four

Our children and grandchildren are the first generation in a long time that will not do better than their parents. I have a 30 year old friend (my hair stylist) who can not buy a starter home. She and her boyfriend have a baby on the way and they want to put down roots, and stop paying apartment rent, and they want to provide for the baby once he/she arrives. Both parents work in careers we all need but they scrape by and will never achieve financial wealth.

All jobs are needed to make the world go round. Everyone is important. I believe the minimum wage needs to be upped so that a full time, hard working person can live. I don’t think that is too much to ask. My friend and her boyfriend will never be able to afford daycare or a private preschool for their child.

Final page

I know there are incredible and countless ills in our country, too many to fix. But as I have put my thoughts down here I can’t help but hope that we see how changing the American system to honor our children, and to provide what they need, will help us all in the long run. Putting time and money towards children is never a wrong thing to do!

It will be like a domino effect. Start at the beginning. Watch the tiles go in line as they grow, as they move forward, and then we can be in awe at how life flows.

How to help? Volunteer. Be a mentor. Give money to charities that work for the children. Locally we have two wonderful ones: Teach My People, and Miss Ruby’s Kids. And vote for candidates who understand that our tax money needs to go to our children – to their health, to their education, and remember ALL children (legal or illegal) deserve our love and care.

Yesterday was Good Friday, the day that Christians remember that Jesus went to a very painful and demeaning death, put up on a cross, a slow and inhumane way to take a person’s life back in that day. He suffered for hours. He took on the pain – and He prayed.

Jesus was a man of peace, and a man who led others to live with unconditional love especially for the sick and poor, the widow, the hopeless, and those who were considered in the ‘out group’ because they looked different, or lived in the wrong place.

As we know, Jesus was also God’s son, so although he was a flesh and bone man, he was also divine. Hard for our brains to wrap around that. But after physically dying on Good Friday, he was taken down from the cross, and his body was placed in a tomb with a heavy rock blocking the entrance. His body was ‘prepared’ with oils and cloths.

More to come….

Right?

Okay, before we get to Sunday I thought I’d write about a few other things. In the broadcasting business, that’s called a ‘tease’!

Things of this world:

I am home right now while hubby spends a little time with our daughter, son-in-law, and our granddaughters. He and I are splitting our time so one of us can stay home with our high maintenance pug Miss Daisy. Hubby and I will switch… and I get the better end of the deal because I will be there for Easter Sunday. I’m also going to spend a few extra days with our daughter and her little ones as her husband’s time off ends and he goes back to work.

Since I am here with Miss Daisy, and our kitties, I watched a movie I wanted to see “Nyad.” Annette Benning played Diane Nyad, the woman who in her 60’s swam from Cuba to Florida. She had been a long distance swimmer all her life and this was her biggest challenge. The movie was well done and Jodie Foster was excellent as Diane’s best friend and coach, Bonnie.

New topic: The Francis Scott key bridge disaster. I lived in Baltimore a long time ago, and I went over that bridge a few times. I didn’t use it often because I lived in a northern suburb and I would drive west around the beltway, or through downtown and through the Inner Harbor tunnel. But, Baltimore is a place that still has my heart. I finished college there, lived on my own (with my roomie) after college, had my first real job there, and eventually met my husband there. We married there. I have wonderful memories of “Charm City.” I know the financial hit this will have on so many hard working people, and it will effect travel for many also. But, these people are down to earth and tough, especially those from East Baltimore who work the docks and at Bethlehem Steel. I know it will be a long, hard journey back to normal life. A side note: it is interesting that the 6 lives lost were all from Central America countries, men who came here to America for a better life for their families, and they were working the night shift fixing potholes. God be with their families as they try to move on.

Trump is now pushing special edition “American Bibles” and it is one more despicable thing from him. This one ranks pretty high on the ‘you have got to be kidding me’ list!! Ha. He’s a so called billionaire taking money from his followers. The money is not going to a charity. It is not going to a good cause. It is going in to his pockets to help feed his ego – and keep his campaign going. During Holy Week. Remember how Jesus overturned the tables of those outside the temple trying to take money from people coming to worship, telling them they needed to pay to go in, and buy coins, etc. ??? Need I say more.

On my drive to Charlotte today I plan to listen to the new Beyoncé album, “Country Carter.” I have heard the single that was released a few weeks ago called “Texas Hold ‘em” and I like it, and it has become a linedancing hit. I know Beyoncé sings Dolly’s “Jolene” on the album and has Willie on it also. Those are two big heavy hitters in the country music world. Normally I’m not fond of an artist hopping genres, especially if it seems like it’s for the money (remember Steven Tyler’s country music album?!?! ). But maybe Beyoncé’s music will introduce those who don’t normally listen to country music to it – and that’s a good thing.

As I finish up this Musing, let me take us to tomorrow. Easter. I find it interesting that in general Easter does not get the hype as much as Christmas – in today’s world. You don’t hear Easter songs blasting in the stores. You don’t countdown to Easter morning the same way, and the Easter Bunny is no match for Santa Claus. There would be no Easter without Christmas. But, Christmas would not matter without Easter. As a kid who went to Sunday school, I have heard the story of the crucifixion of Jesus, and the rolling away of the stone to find the tomb empty on Easter morning, many times. I am not surprised by it anymore. But, can you imagine the shock of those back then to see it empty, and then to those who actually saw Jesus walking on earth again? The big picture is that God showed them – and us – that He can conquer death, that physical death is not the end. It is WHY we are Christians. We believe, with faith, that God has a greater purpose, one we can not understand now. Jesus had already taught us about love, and kindness, and peace – but his final lesson was about salvation.

Hallelujah! Happy Easter!!

For the past twelve years I have gone to the CMA Festival each June, except for the two years when the CoVid epidemic stopped it from happening. Each time, every year, I used a tour company based out of Nashville called Johnny Walker Tours. I loved working with them, and they always took care of me. I bought CMA Festival tickets and hotel packages. In the first years I bought up to 6 of them, some years 4 packages, and the past couple of years I got 2 of them.

The tour company was good at holding my seats, in the Gold Circle, on the aisle, row 11. I would hear from them in the Fall to put down a deposit and then pay the balance in March.

Last week the CMA Festival officials announced the line-up of country music artists on all the stages, and the time schedules for this June’s fest. Seeing the announcement on Facebook made me think, hmmmm… I need to pay for my packages and I wondered why Johnny Walker Tours had not sent me an email.

So, I sent off two emails to them last week. I waited, and then a few days later my emails bounced back into my mailbox. I then googled the company and got bad news: they are permanently closed.

Now, I take responsibility for not noticing that I had not heard from them last Fall. I should have. I got used to them reaching out to me, year after year, and knew they considered me a good repeating customer.

Here’s the thing: I feel very sad that the company closed, and I hope they didn’t need to shutter their doors for financial reasons. But I also feel disappointed that they did not send out a letter or email alerting past clients like me, and letting us know of the need to find festival packages elsewhere. My excellent tickets in the Gold Circle were never offered to me through a different company. I heard nothing.

So, this June I am not going to Nashville for the CMA Festival. I could scramble and find some tickets, certainly not as good as the ones I had, and try to find a hotel. But at this point the hotels in walking distance to all the lower Broadway action are booked.

I will survive. In May & June I am going to three Tim McGraw concerts, on what I call my “Tim Mini-Tour” and I am looking forward to them. I have been blessed to have the CMA Festival experience so many times, and I know I will do it again. I just need to start from scratch and find the right tour package, and I have already reached out to sites on Facebook where CMA Festival fans chat.

The big story here is businesses come and go, even those that seem to be secure, and successful – and caring. For years I felt that Johnny Walker Tours was that. When they closed their doors last fall they had no obligation to me, and thankfully I had not given them a deposit yet. But they left me ‘high and dry’ without any notice.

I can’t help but think this would make great lyrics for a country song.

They left me without a word.

I got left. I got ghosted. I got burned like a sad country song.

The American justice system moves slowly. Have you noticed?

I guess I was not aware just how slowly the judges in court move because thankfully I have never been involved in a court case. I have never been sued, or indicted, and I have never even been called to be a witness in a case.

On television shows the episodes have trials that end within an hour.

I understand that the real justice system works by the rule of law, and uses previous cases as standards. I understand about the amount of time lawyers need to prepare for a case, and the time to enter ‘discovery’, and then it takes time to get jury members, all before the actual case gets going, and then that can be long. Oh, and then if a person is found guilty he or she has the right to appeal and hope for a different outcome with a new trial.

The process can take months, often years.

Lately I have watched some of the real cases that have been televised. I find them fascinating. I learn how the justice system works from watching them. And then during court breaks the commentators explain what is happening for the layperson like me.

First I watched the Murdoch trial because it happened not too far from where I live, and it was a look at small town’s southern ways, and enormous abuse of power, and of course murder.

I watched the House of Representatives Committee on the Insurrection on January 6th, and although it was not a trial with a judge, it worked through all the facts in much the same way. Many on the panel were lawyers before getting into politics. Their preparation and the decision from their findings at the end was presented to a federal attorney to continue it on. It is now the “Smith case” we are waiting on in Washington, DC.

A couple of years back I watched the televised court case against the father & son, and their neighbor, also not too far from me, who murdered Mr. Arbery, the young black man who was jogging down their street.

Now, we have seen all the indictments about Trump’s many wrong doings. (I know, he is innocent until proven guilty.) Actually, he was found guilty of sexual abuse already. Lest we forget – he has to pay millions. And, he was found guilty in the New York case about the Trump organization’s false financial statements to banks and insurance companies. He has to pay more millions for it. He and his children have other stipulations and limitations for doing business in New York.

The other cases, the ones in DC and in Georgia, may not go to court before the November election. So, there is a pretty good chance that a man who has already been found guilty of crimes, and is awaiting other trials, will be on the ballot for president of the United States. I find this incredibly bold on his part – but he is the ultimate of narcissistic self love. Right? But I also find it so very puzzling that so many American citizens don’t seem to care about his crimes, and his upcoming cases.

I really wish the cases against Trump would be put before other pending cases, and that the trials would happen before November. It makes common sense to me – which is something we seem to be lacking these days. I also wish that Trump and his lawyers would not be able to continue to stall, and slow down the process. They have made it known that it is their intent: delay, delay, delay. Trump lawyers are using every legal angle possible to slow down the justice system.

Civics lesson: The foundation and the workings of a good democracy is based on the three separate and equal parts of our government: the executive, the legislative, and the judicial branches. Each are supposed to work independently, and should not become more powerful than the other two. It is a balancing act all the time. Lately it seems to some that even the highest court, the US Supreme Court, has not stayed away from politics (executive and legislative.) The judges lean left or right. They have made decisions that have stirred up people, and that seem to favor one side or the other. But justice is supposed to be blind to all that.

The newest Supreme Court judges openly lied to the legislative branch when they were questioned about their fundamental beliefs and how the rule of law takes precedent. Both stated they supported Roe vs. Wade and that it was the law of the land, but then once voted on and appointed to the highest court they reversed themselves and created a path for states to make their own abortion law decisions. It has caused the situation we are in now where women have to flee certain states to get health care, and to make their own choices about childbirth.

The overlapping of the justice system with today’s politics is very disheartening. And, the future, if Trump were to get elected (heaven help us all) would unbalance the branches even more. He has stated that as president he would create immunity for himself, and free convicted Jan. 6th Insurrectionists. He wants to be above the law. As a full blown narcissist he truly believes he should be. He want to drag out his own court cases to make himself judge and jury… and then deny any wrongdoing.

I titled this post “in the end the truth will come out” because I really do believe it. But ‘the end’ may take a long time in coming! A long, long time! A common phrase is that history will show the truth, and that looking back is clearer than while in the midst of it all. And, yes, that is true. Hindsight is 20/20. Right? And, in the end justice will prevail. But can we wait? Can a slow judicial system save us? I worry it won’t. For a healthy democracy it must prevail. Without a fair and unbiased court system we will have anarchy, and the Justice branch, the one that is usually considered ‘the heavy hand of the law,’ will become the Executive branch – and that will not be good. Trump wants it that way.