Hi. It feels like forever since I have written a Marla’s Musings.

I suppose it has been weeks, maybe a month or two. And, although I have started a few before this one it feels like there is too much to say, or that I am a broken record, or I wish I had different subjects to write about…

But, no. It’s the same issues – and really they are worse. It’s pretty disheartening. Since I last wrote there have been a least two more (maybe three) large mass shootings. Since I last wrote Roe vs. Wade was overturned and life has become much harder for women in America. Since I last wrote the Jan. 6th committee has held more hearings with damning testimony that should make all Americans upset.

But, here’s the thing: nothing has changed. I mean when it comes to people – thinking, and people believing, and people coming together.

Yes, it’s pretty disheartening.

We just celebrated America’s Independence Day and for the first time I did not feel like we deserved to celebrate our country. I felt like it was fake holiday, and we were putting a glossy picture up, to hide the mess. And, with almost choreographed evidence a domestic terrorist committed a mass shooting at a 4th of July parade in middle America. Another young, white male, obviously mentally disturbed decided to buy up high powers weapons and go on a rampage, killing the parents of a 2 year old, and others who should be alive to enjoy retirement and grandchildren. Dozens others hurt. Hundreds there traumatized. Millions of Americans now nervous to go anywhere in public to places where people gather.

People like me, people who want to see more, stronger, sensible gun laws cry when these events happen. People like me hurt, and get mad, and call Congress, and post their outrage. But others stay quiet. It’s obvious. I see you. It’s disheartening.

Shouldn’t we all be outraged by what is happening?

But, I know the machines that stir the political pots have turned us into their robots. We let them feed our brains with endless hours of pseudo news. and opinions, and sometimes downright lies. We don’t question anything anymore. We don’t even consider other possibilities.

The latest example is the story going around right now that Tim Allen has been replaced to voice Disney’s Buzz Lightyear with Chris Pratt. It could very well be true. A reporter asked Tom Hanks (the voice of Woody) about it and Tom simply said he didn’t know why Tim was replaced. Today there are posts and rumors going around that Tim Allen was fired because of his political leanings. I don’t think anyone from the movie company said that that was why, or gave the public any reason. Yes, Tim Allen has on his own been an outspoken voice for the conservatives. That is his right to speak his mind about politics and other subjects. But, people have also been mean to Tom Hanks about it. My husband read me some comments that he saw today, and they were directed at Tom, using nasty language, calling him out, saying he was in on Tim being replaced.

Really???

Please, where is proof of any of this? People – stop jumping to conclusions. Please stop thinking the worst of others, and blaming some that may not even be involved. It is over-the-top what we get fed these days and too many of us believe these made up, slanted, often untrue stories.

I don’t know Tom Hanks but I think he might feel like a pawn in this. In a few days this all will calm down, and Tom will be fine. The machine will be on to fabricating something else to get people stirred up.

The machine knows how to create chaos, to the point that nothing is believed.

It is really disheartening.

But, I will not stop hoping for some sanity. I still believe that some people have integrity, and are honest – especially when giving testimony under oath. I have to believe it. If not, it’s an extremely sad and serious downward spiral. Already I wonder how we can return to civility with each other. If we can’t honor other humans, and believe them, what are we??? Who are we???

I guess I know now why I have not written a Marla’s Musings for awhile before today. My head and heart hurt – for the innocent gunned down on a regular basis, for women with no choice unless finding a secret path to another state or backroom, for half of this country that won’t speak up for honesty and belief in each other.

It is so very disheartening.

Happy Mother’s Day in heaven to my mother, a woman of her era. Born and raised in rural Ohio with quiet, and basic German values. A woman who placed motherhood and being a wife first in her life. She sewed my clothes, made special meals, baked, cleaned, etc. and was the perfect “pastor’s wife.”

Happy Mother’s Day to my two daughters who are experiencing tight hugs, and homemade cards, and who get to be the most important woman in their kids’ lives right now. Kissing boo-boos, and singing kiddie songs, reading stories, and more. The days are long but the time is short.

Happy Mother’s Day to women who work and have to balance (ha – impossible) their time without regret. Showing your child that Mama is a well-rounded person is important. For some the job pays the bills, and buys the food, clothes them, and pays for all those little things that come each day.

Happy Mother’s Day to those mourning the loss of a child. Saying ‘happy’ seems callous. Here’s to those with strength to carry on, and to use their pain to help others. These mothers live their whole life with a huge hole in their heart.

Happy Mother’s Day to Ukrainian moms who have had to up and leave everything, take their children, and start again in a new country. Living in fear and uncertainty. Here’s to moms at our borders wanting the same… some safety, and hope – and a life for their children. Here’s to mothers from every country who feel the same love for their children.

Happy Mother’s Day to the active parent in the school system. The one willing to be ‘class mom’ and PTA member. Here’s to the mom who becomes ‘everyone’s’ mom with the child’s schoolmates. We all knew one. Willing to take on the burdens of other kids and always keeping the door open to come on in.

Happy Mother’s Day to stay at home moms, who still seem to have to answer to the important of raising children.

Happy Mother’s Day to replacement moms. Be they step-parents, or aunties, or Grandmas, who stepped in by choice to give love and help raise children.

Happy Mother’s Day to those without children – but wanted to be a mother so badly. Circumstance or physical limitations got in the way.

Happy Mother’s Day to the family with two mothers. Can you imagine a child feeling twice all the love one mother offers?

Happy Mother’s Day to those who ‘made it through’ and now look back, and sigh that it went by so quickly. First the scary newborn days. And then a couple of years of toddlers and play groups, and then off to school, and endless class trips, programs, and music concerts. Sporting events. Church rites and Sunday school. Watching them learn to drive, graduate – and then heading off to college. Not knowing everything going on in those years (and not really wanting to know) and praying they make it through. First apartments and first jobs. Phone calls about life lessons as an adult.

Then weddings – and becoming a mother themselves. The true circle of life.

Happy Mother’s Day to ALL who get to have experienced it, the good and the bad, the ups and downs, the smiles and occasional bad words. ha

There is nothing else like being a mother. Happy Mother’s Day!

I love babies. I love love love babies!! If you know me you know that I find great joy in the birth of babies and I am experiencing a ‘birth explosion” right now among many of my daughters’ friends. So many of them have been having babies in the past couple of years! It’s such an amazing time! They are at a place in their lives when having babies and creating new families is happening – and watching this phase of life puts a huge smile on my face.

These are such loved babies. Wanted babies. Babies born into situations where parents and grandparents will give them everything they will need for a wonderful life ahead.

It’s interesting that I watch this happening among so many of my daughters’ friends right now as I sit here and also watch the Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision leak, and the worry of it being overturned. My Facebook posts are equally pics of adorable new babies and posts about women losing their freedom of choice.

I wonder. My daughters’ friends are really good people but I bet that one or more of them had to make a pregnancy decision at some point in their past. And, I can guarantee it was not an easy decision. I am sure that if an abortion was the outcome that it is something that will never be forgotten. It was not a whimsically choice. It was done with a heavy heart. With some fear. But it was their choice. Done in privacy. Safely.

I believe an abortion is never easy for a woman – emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Let me repeat: It’s never easy.

But I believe it is the right thing to have abortion as a choice.

I am a deeply religious person. I am a Christian and I try to live thinking ‘what would Jesus do’ when it comes to the hard realities we all have to face. First I know that God loves all mothers, and that God is a compassionate God. I know that God gives people free will, and with that comes making mistakes large and small. I also know men are involved in making babies but they are never considered in the abortion issue.

I know that God is so much ‘more’ than us, not limited to time or place. God knows each unique soul. Every single one – and that alone is hard to comprehend. But God does. God does not wait for a ‘start date’. He doesn’t say it takes so many cells to multiply in a woman’s womb before becoming a being, before having a soul. God also doesn’t have an end date for a soul either. Accidents happen to children. Young adults die from drugs. Suicide. Others die too young from cancer and other diseases. We can’t box God in. We should not think we KNOW how God thinks – or what he sees in the heart of someone suffering. God loves – God is compassionate.

Here in the United States we have had an upsurge of trying to legislate religion. We are seeing a group (dare I say mostly white ones?) trying to make all Americans like them. They have an attitude of thinking “I know what is best.” They are confusing discipleship with being authoritative, speaking as if they are God – or have a better pipeline to Him.

It’s really quite sad because they don’t seem to allow God to be God. And, they don’t seem to be able to follow the greatest message of all which is to love your neighbor as yourself.

But – back to our Supreme Court right now. I believe that the court should stay out of a woman’s decision on this. It is a decision to be made with a medical doctor, a counselor, perhaps a leader of their faith Oh – .and with the man involved if that is possible. Remember he was there too!?! And it should be private and done with dignity.

Remember…

God knows each soul – if it only lived in a uterus. Or if it grew to an old age. God knows people get hurt and make hard decisions. God listens to repentance. God is God.

We are not God.

Happy Easter week! The resurrection of Jesus is not a ‘one day’ celebration for Christians. The fact that Jesus died and rose from His death is the foundation of all Christian church beliefs. Walk in any Christian church and you will hear about God conquering death, and using Jesus to show us how to live, how to die, and how to look forward to ‘more.’ It is God’s promise of eternal life beyond this one we have here on earth. It’s the hope for ‘more’ given to us by His love for us. We won’t know the details until it’s our time, and the details might be different for each of us. We just don’t know. But, regardless Easter brings us hope, and is God’s gift to us – through grace. It’s not to be celebrated on just one day. We Christians live an Easter life every day. And with it comes responsibility to care for others and their needs.

Saying that, I want to pass along some interesting discussion I have been a part of on-line. We live in a really sad world with lots and lots of sins, big and small. Right now we watch what is happening to the Ukrainians and it is truly too much to take. Half a world away we see the live videos on the news and we feel hopeless, unable to stop Putin, the mad man from Russia. So much loss of life and destruction caused by a deranged man, whose actions show he has no soul, and does not feel for the hurt, and for the pains he has caused to humanity. Maybe in a sick way Putin even enjoys what he is doing.

Then here at home we have other wars going on. Here’s the discussion that I have been a part of – with some disagreements. The conservative topics of late, their bullhorn rhetoric, is the use of words about gay relationships and sexual identity around elementary aged children – and the ‘need’ to ban books from school curriculums. All of a sudden it has become an issue to them. Books written years and years ago are suddenly unfit for reading, because they may sway young minds, and will possibly open their eyes to a wider view. They may read history that isn’t very flattering. You realize it’s not really about the books, right? Like I said most of the books have been around a long time and there is no proof that reading them has caused any child any harm. if anything, some books have created questions for discussions and deeper understandings about our world Same goes with sexual identity. It’s always been around. Learning about it, not making a big deal about it, creates an environment for asking questions and getting a better understanding.

. So you see – It is about CONTROL – and it’s about who has the power.

Underneath, the gay and book banning motive is unfortunately the same as the Russian war in Ukraine. How you ask? (Marla, are you crazy?) There are people here who want to make decisions for others, who want to be the one in charge, to know what should be allowed, and what is not. They pose themselves as saviors of children, and experts on whatever needs to be done. (True smart people know they don’t know everything and are okay about admitting it. That is not a weakness.) Putin uses extreme measures to put fear into his people, to keep them under his thumb, and the conservative leaders here do also. They scare people into ‘what might happen’ if we allow gay talk – oh my, or any books to be read that have stories about bad stuff . What if Johnny reads this book, or if Susie learns of two dads in one household? And, worst of it all – they connect religion to it. They pick the parts of religion to support their stance – and to put ample fear in to the people. They point fingers at others who are doing it wrong – because they think they know what is best. Somehow though, they forget to use the parts of religion about love and acceptance for all. Oh, by the way, they claim they are Christians! Hmmm. Do they ask: What would Jesus do?

Remember the book “The Stepford Wives”? (Is it on the banned list now?) In the book the suburban women are lulled into a non-thinking, non-individual way of existing. They are controlled and do not see what is happening. They are just pretty shells. And the book “1984” is a futuristic look (written before 1984) about government controlling everyone’s lives to the point of not allowing free thinking, and personal expression. Big Brother was always watching. And there were people who’s jobs were to re-write history, and to change reality to what fit best for government’s control.

Sound familiar?

I’m wondering as I write this. Just kinda curious. I wonder the percentage of avid readers are in both our political parties. Is one party made up of more serious readers? How many Republicans in America are readers vs. Democrats in America? That could be a telling statistic.

Back to where I started: Easter is about God’s promise to us – because God knows being human is hard, and we get it wrong, and we act all pompous and stupid sometimes. God sent Jesus down into the middle of us, to tell us how to try and get it right. And, then God showed us, through the death and resurrection of Jesus, that the sins and the pain of this earth will one day be a thing of the past. Our unique soul, our individual free-thinking, free will person has hope, has opportunity for ‘more’ – and that’s a pretty awesome thing.

Controlling people and banning books. Unacceptance of people. Using fear. Suppression. Personal power on earth has nothing over that.

So – Have a blessed Easter all year long.

For the second time in two days I have read a post from a teacher who is considering leaving the profession. She wrote that today’s politics is coming in to her classroom, and she can not continue on with the restrictions certain politicians are pushing on an already difficult job. Both teachers are not new at teaching. Both care greatly about their students. Both chose to teach to truly make a positive difference in young people’s lives.

And, this morning I read a news piece about a Frederick County, Maryland meeting last night that had to be stopped because a group of parents who attended it were yelling at a committee tasked to update policy.

Disruptions are happening at school board meetings across the country. The parents are taking sides on a politically started issue about using the word ‘gay’ in classrooms, and on when it is acceptable to teach about gender identity. The main focus is with young children, kindergarten through 3rd grade. Here’s a reminder: Public education has standardized requirements, and in those early years of school a class on sex education is not a part of it. Never has been. The children instead are busy learning letters and numbers, and then sentence structure and reading and math skills. They are learning basics needed to continue on in to the upper grade levels. So, the hoopla (or loud noise) seems to be created on purpose – and it’s about the worries that children ‘may’ hear that a teacher is gay, or in a relationship with a same gender person, or that little Johnny has two moms, or that Billy likes to plays with dolls, and Suzie dresses like a boy.

Let me say it again: This is a MADE UP effort by conservative politicians who want to push an agenda on to others. I recently watched the Netflix documentary called “The Family” and I encourage everone to watch it. It’s about a group of Republican Congressmen who quietly have banned together in efforts to promote Christian leadership in government. They are supported by a ‘secret style’ organization that wants to elevate Christian men in to the roles of power, and they truly believe they are chosen to do this. They believe that God has selected them. .

This group goes against the idea of the separation of church and state, which has been part of the foundation of the country. We do not have a national religion. In fact, all religions are allowed to be worshipped in the United States. Lately the efforts of ‘the family’ are dangerously seeping in to our public systems in ways we haven’t seen before. The gay/don’t say gay issue in the classroom is one right now. Look at Florida, Texas, and now Ohio.

Step back and be rational for a moment. Think back when you were in public school. Do you EVER recall a teacher or another student addressing sexual identity in elementary school? Did a person of authority try to sway your identity? Do you remember making fun of child for having two moms? Do you really think even that someone’s sexual identity was talked about in the classroom of young children and that it would ‘change’ who they are?

No – of course not.

Unfortunately our public educational system already has a list of issues – buildings are falling apart, there is race and economic inequality in districts, low academic scores, low pay for teachers, etc . The teachers already have plenty of pressure put on them – like having to teach towards test results, to sometimes be ‘second parents’ when children need help, etc. And now this – a made up fear from politicians and parents that the children will be influenced – to what? Accept everyone?

I don’t blame these two teachers for saying ‘enough.’

They are not the only two. Our American educational system will be hurt tremendously by the loss of dedicated, wonderful teachers. Children will lose out on having them, and classroom sizes may have to increase to fill the void. We all will suffer, not because Ms. Smith lives with Ms.Jones, but because some people are spending way too much time on a non issue.

Get over it.

If you attend a school board meeting and want to fight (civilly) do it for better teacher pay, and for computers for all kids, and for safe school buildings and environments. Care about the real stuff.

Care about teachers.

Know the title? It’s an old Mamas and Papas song. From the 60’s from those who were alive then. ha

Happy Monday to you. Monday quarterbacking here – on a few issues.

Silly to use a football term when it’s the peak of NCAA college basketball! A big shout out to the University of South Carolina Lady Gamecocks for winning the title last night against UConn! It’s nice to have a ‘home team’ to root for – and it’s nice to have the team do so well at the biggest game on a national level for the women. Side note: When the game started I noted that coach Dawn Staley was wearing what looked like a retro letter jacket, in green, black, and white. Not the Carolina garnet and black. I said to my hubby that there must be some significance to it, and perhaps it’s a tribute to something from her playing years. Wrong. I read this morning it was a Louis Vuitton jacket priced at almost $5000. What’s up with that?

Are you rooting for a team in tonight’s big championship game for the mens title? Kansas or UNC? I feel like I need to root for the Carolina team. A different Carolina, but I have connections to it with both daughters and their families living in North Carolina. Kansas looked so good against Villanova though. So, I don’t know. I’m guessing it will be a nail biter, close to the end. Do I want Eric Church to watch his UNC team (by the way he is an App State grad) go all the way? Well, at this point – why not. He already did incredible PR damage.

How would I feel if Tim McGraw cancelled a concert to watch a sporting event? MAD! And – Extremely disappointed. Especially with all I have gone through to get the tickets transferred electronically!! For those who have not read my earlier posts and don’t know, I have had a battle going on with Ticketmaster for months now because I was receiving messages about being a Bot, and was ‘forbidden’ (the word they used on the screen) to go into My Accounts in Ticketmaster. After many calls and long waits on hold, and various efforts through the internet, I resorted to writing a snail mail letter and sent it to Ticketmaster headquarters in Wheeling, WV. I had given up after a few weeks of not hearing back from them, when lo & behold, a representative named Meredith emailed me back. Her first (of many) emails stated she was sorry it took awhile to respond – because the mail is only picked up from the post office a couple of times a month!! Yes, you read that right! Meredith turned out to be my savior though because she did not give up finding out what was wrong and why I could not electronically download the tickets. We even had some phone conversations. Guess what? She went to her boss, and others, and YES – I had been blocked. But, of course nobody knew why. They unblocked me. Meredith gave me a temporary password to get into My Accounts and I was able to get the tickets.

I had asked repeatedly to just print out tickets (you know, like the ‘good ole days’) and send them to me. They would not. Said they could not. Oh, and I had used a ‘third party’ seller which complicated it all. I told Meredith my hubby and I both were on our phones at the same time had gone online at the moment of ticket release to the public to buy them. So, question: How did a third party get early access and already was reselling tickets – for a profit? Guess what? I never got an answer on that either. Surprised? No, me neither.

So, on to happier things: It’s April and my garden is taking off like crazy now! All the perennials are getting taller every day. Spring has sprung – and it’s wonderful! We are having most days with highs in the 70s now. Sorry for my northern friends, and the ones that just got a bit of snow.

Speaking of seasons, I have been saying “to everything there is a season” a lot lately. Many of you know I have been a very active, devoted member of my church since moving here many years ago. I have stuck in there through changes in pastors, through the horrible ‘great divide’ when we voted on the gay marriage issue, and I have watched too many members pass on, or move away. My friend and Music Director then retired and remarried (and I am happy for her). Add in the full year of no in-person worship due to CoVid which was tough for everyone. Now, I sit in the pew and I feel immense sorrow. I can’t help but sit there and think about how it used to be – and who all is gone. I miss hearing and participating in the music there. I am just sad about it all. I feel like this season has ended for me. I’m not sure what to do.

So…

I get joy from other places. I get joy from my hubby and daughters & their families. I get joy from nature. And, yes I definitely get joy from music. Tomorrow evening is the community band spring concert and I look forward to it. If you are local, come on out! It’s free! 7:00pm at the Pawleys Island Community Church.. The theme is “Shall we dance?” All music connected to dancing. I will be tooting my flute. And, I love to dance to music – so Wednesday I will be at that again – come join me at the linedancing class! I’m also ringing handbells in two church handbell groups.

The CMA Festival is getting closer and closer – and that is the ultimate for a country music fan! OVer 4 days – and nights – of many venues in the area playing live music. From small acoustic groups and individuals in the honky tonks, to the river stage, to the big stadium night shows with the big names performing! It’s country music on overload! It’s not for the feint of heart – or those who can’t keep up with the long days and lots of walking.

In May I have the two Tim McGraw concerts. Raleigh and Charlotte. Get ready daughters!! Yee haw!!

Have I asked this before? Probably? Country music people have lots of tattoos. Rock music lovers do also. It seems to be a big thing these days. I am all for free expression AND I am also for freedom with your own body (hear that Congress?). But for the life of me I do not get 1. skulls, 2. dead people, 3. whole sleeves on arms and legs. Sometimes I think people pick something to put on ‘willy nilly’ and it’s there F.O.R.E.V.E.R. Bodies change. And what seemed cool now may be awful later. Right? Tats are not cheap. (And they are often done in shady places by people with no art degree.) So when I see sleeves I hear ka-ching and I wonder how else that money could be spent. That’s just me,

One thing I do know: that spending money on others, and giving time & talent to others, is never wrong. I know the majority of people give back something – and share what they can. There is an internal shift when you give without expecting anything back. When you give because you know someone is just like you, but needs a little something. Making someone else’s life easier or happier comes right back to you. It gives a reason to be. We see examples of it everyday and what we see is the tip of the iceberg.

So – to give is to love. Music is love. There is a lot of love around.

Today is National Trans Day. It must be true because I saw it on Facebook. ha. If it is or if it isn’t really doesn’t matter, because I am sure those who are living in a body that they don’t identify with struggle about it every day, especially young people. For them every day is Trans day.

I can’t say I know any trans persons personally. Maybe I do but I have not been able to tell by their appearances. I do know though some lesbians and gay men, and I know that they also have times of struggle with acceptance, first with themselves and then by others. It’s something I have never had to deal with, or feel wrong about – or tell someone about. My body identity or my sexual preference is ‘straight’ forward – pun intended. Why I was born that way I was I do not know. Why they were – I do not know that either.

The saying goes ‘you don’t know how it is until you have walked a mile in my shoes.’ Well, I have never walked through life not fitting in with the norm. I have never walked feeling out of sorts with society’s expectations.

But, I do know this: It’s gotta be really hard to do. It’s also not a choice. LBGTQ are born the way they are, and still in today’s world it’s a challenge to ‘come out’ to family and friends. Most figure out their sexual identity in their teen years but don’t feel comfortable announcing it til much later. As if ‘announcing’ it should even have to happen.. Right? I didn’t ‘announce’ I was a heterosexual. I also know once the announcement is made and they tell others a great burden is lifted and they can be more authentic. They can live a truthful life. And… I’m all for that.

I therefore believe that we need to acknowledge that not understanding is okay, but not accepting is not okay. We need to understand that we come in all colors, in various heights and weights, and assorted sexual desires…built-in. From day one. It’s not a choice. And, a trans person has to be the toughest one to figure it out. Born with certain body parts but not being ‘right’ with them, not identifying with those parts connected to their own body.

I believe God made us ‘in His image” and that includes not just the physical look, but also with some intellect (some more than others – ha), and with spirits that are deeper than other living beings on earth. I also believe God doesn’t make mistakes. And, I believe that God loves every single person whoever they are. Again, skinny or obese, red or black skin, young or old, and heterosexual or gay – or trans. God loves everyone.

What God doesn’t like is seeing inequality, and meanness, and humans judging others. Jesus said to ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ with no asterisk after it. No ‘exceptions’ and no ‘changes required.’

Depression and suicides rates are higher in the gay and trans community. We all are to blame for it. We legislate against them. We make their lives difficult. We snub, or laugh, or put them down.

So today is a day to think about how we can behave differently. How we can make a day better for someone else. How we can be accepting. How we can love the differences we all have.

It’s all the talk today. Will Smith got out of his seat at the Academy Awards live show last night, dressed in a tux, he walked up on stage and slapped Chris Rock very hard across the face for a ‘joke” Chris told about Will’s wife Jada’s buzzcut. Jada is dealing with a disease that causes loss of hair. The joke was tasteless. But, many people laughed – including Will at first.

So, if you are at an office this morning and ‘around the water cooler’ you are probably weighing in about it. If you are online this morning you are seeing memes about it already. If you are watching TV this morning you are hearing the talking heads do what they do: talk, talk, talk about it. And, I can guarantee you have seen the video over and over again.

People are taking sides about it. Some are with Will. Some are disappointed in his actions. Some are just laughing.

Well, I also saw online this morning a post from a woman who I know, who lived in an abusive marriage for too long. Thankfully she is out of the marriage now, but she said watching Will slap Chris, and later saying during his award acceptance speech that “sometimes love makes you do crazy things” made her sick. She was on the receiving end of that kind of behavior. She posted that most abusers say that exact line – it happened because of love. They twist words to put it back on the other person, and they will not accept any blame. So, last night’s live slap and the blocked words after it (we knew what Will was saying) effected some greatly – a form of PTSD.

Little boys are taught from a young age to be tough, to stand up for themselves, and even have a playground scuffle if you need to do it. Never walk away. Be a man!

Last night we saw a huge movie star, worth tons of money and living a comfy life, act like a school boy. Was he defending his wife’s honor in that moment? Did she NEED it defended?

Perhaps Will had a drink or two. Perhaps he and Jada had already a bad vibe going with Chris Rock. Maybe there was a history already between them. I have heard various ‘excuses’. I even heard this morning that Will grew up watching his father beat up on his mother and regrets not stepping in… he regrets not being a man in a boy’s body.

I posed a question on Facebook to my friends who are raising sons. What would you think if your son behaved like Will did last night? Is that what you teach them? Would you be proud? “That’s my boy!”

I’m a mother to daughters so I admit I never had to raise boys. It’s a lot easier to tell girls to turn the cheek when other girls are being catty. When a girl is picked on she cries, but does not strike back. And I think of the woman I mentioned above who stayed in a bad marriage longer than she should have stayed.

We seem like a society ready to jump, to stomp on someone, to put them in their place. It’s hard to turn the other cheek because it seems weak, and cowardly. We saw that last night. Will Smith got out of his seat and strode up to Chris Rock and smacked him with his open hand. You know who handled it well? Chris Rock. He did not hit back. He did not return the same verbal abuse either. He kept himself together – although I’m sure he was stunned.. Thankfully more was not exchanged.. Because too often violence escalates.

I hope people don’t just laugh about what happened last night. It was inexcusable. It was not a drunk barroom fight. It was a successful man acting in a way no young boy should look up to and want to be like. Will Smith was not a role model last night.

Happy hump day! Happy mid-March! Happy Spring!

Here is a smathering of thoughts going on in my head this morning.

Sunshine and warm temperatures are good for the psyche! It’s a beautiful day in my neighborhood. Finding joy in nature’s free gifts is ‘priceless.’ And, I am blessed to live where these gifts are abundant.

Music makes the world go round! Wednesdays are one of my favorite music days. I get to dance for an hour and a half each Wednesday afternoon, and then go straight to a handbell rehearsal. Moving to music brings out positive endorphins.

Watching the Congressional Judicial committee hearing for Judge Jackson’s approval for the Supreme Court is like watching the best and the worst of the elected. Some members of the committee sound astute in law, and in the workings (limits) of the highest court in our land. Some sound like adult-sized babies trying to belittle, and act snippy, and they come off egotistical. It seems the endurance of the nominee is part of the process – and how to remain ‘serious’ during stupid questioning.

My daily liquid intake: International Foods’ Cafe Francias each morning. Then water throughout the afternoon. Chardonnay from 6:00pm on. I only need those three. Each day, every day.

Seeing a vehicle (usually it’s a pickup truck or a high end sedan) with a Trump sticker, or five, and “Let’s go Brandon” on it can’t help but make me nervous. I literally ‘steer clear’ and now I try and say a quick prayer for the owner of the vehicle.

War is hell on earth.

I’m getting more of my nose cells frozen or scrapped off tomorrow. I have always worn some makeup on my face, but I regret not putting sunscreen on it more often when I was young. But, I admit that I used to love getting sun on my face, and getting a ‘healthy’ glow. ha

Hubby and I are into another fun Netflix series called “Good Girls.” I highly recommend it. It’s got a little bit of something for everyone: action, humor, blood, intrigue. Good acting. The story line is over-the-top but the three housewives friends are lovable even when making really bad choices.

Wondering: have you made different choices since gas prices have gone up? Have you changed your driving habits? Tried to conserve? Or, are you just complaining…?

I did not fill out an NCAA March Madness bracket this year. I got to say that I watched more games and followed it much more closely when I had a bracket and cheered certain teams on. Now, I generally root for the underdog. I like catching the last 2 minutes of close games but I do not watch them from the opening buzzer.

I am cheering on the South Carolina Lady Gamecocks though. Go Cocks!!

I am about to finish a great ‘who done it’ book called “The Paris Apartment” by Lucy Foley. It’s a new release. And, it’s easy to read, and it has some interesting twists and characters. I only have a couple of chapters to go and still don’t know how it will end.

Speaking of endings, it’s time to end this – and get out into the beauty of the day.

I hope you enjoy some nature and some music today!

Happy Wednesday!

I’m not sure how I became a person who has learned to appreciate change. I haven’t always been that way. I credit my hubby for letting me know sometimes, in subtle and not so subtle ways in the past, that maybe I am ‘too careful’ or ‘too slow’ or am ‘too content’ without seeing the positives that can come from change. I also think I shunned away from some changes because they had dollar signs connected to them, and I didn’t want to seem greedy, using our ability to pay for change when others could not. An example: my first Iphone. Hubby had an Iphone way before me. I hemmed and hawed and did not see the reason to get one. He kept urging me to try one. Well, you know now that I have one (actually I am on my 3rd one) and I could not live without it. I appreciate the ability to stay in touch with people through threads and text messages, and I love checking into emails when I am away from home. I love taking pictures and sharing them. I love playing word games with friends.

Change is a state of mind. That too I have learned. It is making a choice that something new is worth trying. Obviously not everything new works out. And, some new inventions or new products don’t last long. They are fads. They are overnight wonders that quickly fade away. But, a person who believes in change is willing to ‘go for it’ and to look forward to something else new on the horizon.

We need people who love change. We need dreamers, and those who put their time and effort into creating something new. Look back in history at ALL the changes. I think about just in my Dad’s lifetime – how he saw the start of TV, black & white – to color – big furniture boxes to flat screens – and now streaming and Wi-Fi viewing. And, again – phones. Party lines, and one phone connected with a cord in a home. Then to bulky cordless, and now to Iphones that do everything and still answer a phone call. But, who calls anymore??

Lately the innovation that has both the people interested in change and those who do not want to go there – is the e-car. Again, I credit my husband who has been watching the way electric cars have become the new thing – and why. He researched. And he likes cars. He took a chance and bought a used BMWi, a really cute little car that is electric, but has a 2 gallon back-up gas tank. I immediately fell in love with the car – and it has become mine to drive. After a few months of owning it we went ahead and sold my reliable Honda CRV. Why? Because I love this change! I love moving forward. I love the quiet, and smooth ride. I love knowing that I am doing something ‘green’ in a sense. Ok. This is where people are going to say – but what about those big nasty batteries?? (Versus the big nasty gas car parts – and oils, etc. that can also be toxic.) But yes, there is an environmental concern about what to do with e-car batteries once they no longer are useful in vehicles. I get that. It’s an issue that needs to be addressed. I believe in forward thinkers – so I have faith that the smart scientists from around the world will work hard on 1. making batteries that will be safer, and 2. will one day be re-used for another purpose. Some people I know, and many I see on social media, are vocal about never giving up their gas cars – even during this time of high as prices, and they seem to like putting down the new option of electric.

Are they like me? How I was? Were they slow to get an Iphone? Well, I bet they all have them now.

The United States used to pride itself on forward thinking – of being the young country with all the talent in the world! The innovators. The industrial revolution happened here. But… Now, who do we think is always on the cutting edge? Japan perhaps.

Earlier I said change is a state of mind. It is. Learning to acknowledge that change can make us all better, and that we live with improvements that make life easier, and that we are happier with them – once the kinks are worked out. It’s a way of living!

Some things are ‘old and reliable’ and don’t need change. At first I was going to say a Q-tip, but even it has been made better over time. I marvel at all the baby items and paraphernalia that my daughters had for their newborns. Much more than I had – just one generation before.

So – I wonder WHY are some people naysayers? Even if something might not be ‘for them’ why put it down? I feel like I have to defend that I like driving an e-car. Silly, isn’t it? Hey, airplanes are not my favorite mode of transportation (because I don’t like not being in control, and how does that huge thing fly through the sky?!?!) but I see the value of planes, and I know for some people they will fly before taking a long road trip anytime.

Thank goodness we have all kinds of ways to travel. So many inventions have got us here. I am pleased that Pres. Biden has allocated money for better electric cars – for innovations in the industry, and for high-speed modern trains, and for highway improvements.

I think…

Change is good!