Hi all. I haven’t written a post for a little while because I feel like I’m on hold right now. Do you feel the same?

I am waiting for the shoe to drop on Election Day – or Should I say WEEK depending on the closeness of it all. I’m hoping for a huge blue wave so there will not be any doubt, and I”m hoping and praying that our country remains peaceful in the coming months.

Over the weekend hubby and I went up to Raleigh to see our grandboys and to give their mom & dad a date night out. We had a great time – of course. I’m always feeling in a bubble of joy when there. On our drive home we stopped at a Sheetz to fill up with gas and I went into the store to get a cup of coffee and something to eat. In line, in front of me, was a middle aged man wearing denim overalls. He purchased two cans of snuff. As he turned I saw that somehow attached to his overalls (?!?) was a holster with a gun in it. Mind you, this man was not a police officer – Nor did he look like he was in any way a security guy. No, he looked to me like a ‘good ole boy’ ready to take on his own law and order. I immediately tensed up – because, man, you don’t want to say the wrong thing to a guy like that. Or you don’t want to even look him in the eye wrong. I got to thinking this is how some Americans act know. Walking around with a deadly weapon openly attached to their side, ready to pull it if something happens. I mean, what is going to happen at a busy Sheetz on a Sunday morning??

We drove through rural South Carolina on backroads and the Trump signs were stuck in many front yards. There is no getting away from the fact that plenty of people still blindly support him.

So, I carefully wait until things can get better. I still see online on social media some Trump supporters. Not as many though, because I think they know to stay quiet right now. I mean, how can anyone admit to liking this president? At this point I have a mix Of emotion – of feeling sad for them because they are so misplaced in their belief in him. I truly don’t get it. They have shown their own acceptance of just about every bad attribute a person can have. And, of course, I feel scared by them – as just like the man at The Sheetz, many are ready to create a civil war. They buy in to the lies – the ones he tells and the ones by his surrogates.

So, I’m on hold now.

And, I’m trying… I’m trying during this time to see the positives and to stay hopeful. I pray a lot.

In the meantime I continue my walking for the “Run with Ruth” program. I have until Election day to get in my 87 miles. I continue to wear my Fitbit and keep track of all my steps. I have started working on quilts at home since our church quilt program hasn’t been able to meet since CoVid started In March. I am reading – and I will be going to an outdoor book club meeting soon. I haven’t been to a Book Club meeting in months. It’s a step towards normalcy – but again, we will be outdoors, safe distanced, and will bring our own food and drink. I am looking forward to the twin grandboys 3rd birthday – and a ‘super heroes’ birthday party coming up at the end of the month! Wearing a mask at a super heroes party is easy! Ha I have a Batwoman costume in the works!

My other little grand baby, still in the womb, is growing and I have started buying some girly pink things. What fun It is! Tomorrow is her parents’ wedding anniversary. Time flies so quickly. Congrats to them!!

So, I feel blessed in so many ways, and I have much to look forward to it. But, I also know the realities of what might happen in the coming months.

For now I’m on hold.

As I wait I continue to pray – for peace In this land and for understanding. And, I know God is watching how we handle all this turbulence. Oh, He is not making the decisions on it – don’t ever think that He is. God does not involve himself on how people vote – but instead He sees how we respond to the needs of our fellowman. He has given us plenty of ways to please him – and it is through caring for the poor, the widow, the sad, and the hungry. It is for striving for equality for all. It is for supporting the weak, and taking care of the sick. He has made that obvious to us in the Bible. We are the ones with free will, deciding how to vote, and how to do what is fair and right for everyone.

For now… I wait.

Today is World Teachers Day.

As I wrote in my last post about my childhood, there were a few teachers that have stuck in my brain even after all these years. I have never forgotten them for many reasons. But, mostly it’s because they made learning fun and they seemed to care about all of their students.

In elementary school my 4th grade teacher was Mrs. Hayes, and she was kind, sweet, and I thought of her as a motherly type. She taught without raising her voice and she still had control of the class.

I had a few teachers in high school who I enjoyed – and who I thought were awesome with students. Mr. Rorbough (sp?) was the band director and the band room was my favorite place to hang out. I was a band nerd throughout my school years. I also loved our sweet French teacher. I can’t remember her name but I see her face. And, then Mr. Fisher, who was a new teacher when I took his class for Biology. My girlfriend Paula and I had fun in that class, that included lab work – eeek!, and I think Mr. Fisher ‘sometimes’ got a kick out of us two.

In college one of my favorite professors was Dr. Bauer, who taught Art History. I loved that class! He had two big screens and he would put up photos of art – and talk about the time, the painters and sculptures, the reasons for certainly things in the paintings, etc. I found it fascinating. He turned me on to art history so much that I later volunteered on Saturdays at the Baltimore Museum of Art. I worked in the gift shop, but it was fun to be in that environment.

I also want to mention Dr. John McKerron, at Towson, who was head of the Communications Department and the advisor to the radio station On campus WCVT. I hung out there with other communications friends. I took a few classes from Dr. McKerron, including a Mini-master on the science of broadcasting, which normally I would not have found interesting. I think that’s why I took it in January as a mini-mester . Just to get it over with in one month! But, I remember much from the class – and his demeanor made learning a ‘boring’ subject fun.

Teachers are a special breed. They work for the love of children and young adults, and they know that to have opportunities in life, a good education and foundation is a must. They teach because it brings them fulfillment. Certainly it does not make them rich. They take continual education along the way, and they use their own money to buy classroom supplies. They work hours at home, Putting in time beyond the normal ‘work day’ which they don’t get extra pay for. They do it all for the love of children and young adults.

Lately we have learned that teachers have to be very flexible and now most are doing some of their teaching virtually, teaching through Zoom. I’m sure it’s nothing any of them thought they would be doing when they signed up for the job. But, they care – and they will do whatever it takes.

So…. On this World Teachers Day, I’d like to say: thank you, thank you, thank you to teachers! I know some as friends, and I know some as my daughters’ teachers, and I even know a few as family members. Their hard work and dedication does not go unnoticed, and today we especially thank you!!

I promised I would write about something that is not political. So, here goes…

Lately, I have been thinking about childhood. I think because I am now a Mimi and I have two almost 3 year old grandsons and a granddaughter on the way, I wonder how they will experience childhood in today’s world. The 3 year old twins are off to a great start, and I hope they are able to keep innocent and laugh, and learn, and feel love from their family for a long, long time. My daughter is so good about FaceTiming and Sending little videos that hubby and I feel fortunate to be a big part of their young lives. Plus, we live only 3 hours away and we get to see them often.

This wonderful time in my life has had me thinking about my own childhood. If someone asked me about it, I would quickly and honestly say it was great. I was born into a family, as the youngest of 3 kids. Mom and Dad stayed happily married until my mother’s death. Growing up we lived in suburbia most of the time, and we always had a pet. We were like the “Leave it to Beaver” family. If there were troubles I didn’t hear about them. There was no yelling in our home. I went to public school all but one year. I went to church all the time. My Dad was a pastor.

Maybe because I’m aging, and I worry about losing some of my childhood memories, I want to start a list here – of some of them. My older sister has always been the one known to recall family events better than anyone else. Sometimes I worry that I don’t recall the important, and the every day, life from back then.

So, here goes my list. I plan to add to it as memories pop in my head. So, I’m starting this post today but I plan to keep revisiting it.

Early memories. When do you feel you first really remember things? How old, or young, were you? Sometimes pictures help nudge the brain. But, a memory I have early on, where there was not a picture, was when I was in my kindergarten class. Back in my day nobody went to preschool so kindergarten was the first time away from mom. I have a memory mostly of bringing a small rug in, that was my nap rug. I think kindergarten was a half day but even during that time we had a ‘quiet time’ to lay on our rugs and the teacher would turn off the lights and darken the room. It was probably only for 10 minutes or so. But for some reason I remember having ‘my rug’ to lay on.

My elementary school days were spent in Cleveland Heights, Ohio, and I went to Caledonia Elementary School. I walked there and back home. When I was really little I don’t know if my parents took me, or if I walked with my older siblings. It seemed like a long way to school but I can picture the route and it was maybe 8 blocks or so. I’d go to the corner of my street and turn right, walk down Taylor Avenue, past my Dad’s church – and a small strip of shops across from it. The butcher shop was in that strip. There was a Traffic light at that intersection. And then I’d walk two more blocks or so, turn right again, another block and turn left. My school was on the left. I don’t remember how old I was when I would walk with my siblings, and then my friends, but it seemed we didn’t worry about anything along the walk. I think I was in 2nd grade when a car with a man rode along side us kids walking to school. I remember one of us reported it Once we got to school, and we had to tell the police what the car looked like. Also, in 2nd grade I was pulled out of regular class to have special time for my speech. I had trouble saying my S’s and Z’s. I was with a couple of children in a small room, and we played board games… and I would have to say “It’s your turn” and hold my tongue back. Ha. I don’t know if the speech class ever really helped. I may still speak with it. Also in second grade I had a teacher named Miss Reid. I remember her so well because she seemed like an old little grey haired lady in my eyes – who was kind of mean. She had fingernail inspections! She wanted to see who was biting their nails. But, I also remember doing spelling bees in her class, standing up front By the blackboard, in a line, words would come to us to spell. If we misspelled, we had to sit back down at our desks. 4th grade was a good year. I had Mrs. Hayes and she was sweet, and motherly. It was also the year I started flute at school. My parents had all 3 of us kids take piano lessons so I knew a little bit about reading music, and I was able to pick up playing flute rather easily.

Occasionally Elmer the milk man ( who worked for Dean’s Dairy) would offer to give me a ride home – and I went with him! He drove a milk truck and delivered all around the neighborhood. How trusting I was. My parents knew – and Elmer was a very likeable guy. We bought LOTS of ice cream from him! He delivered milk and ice cream right to our door. We would save the tear off strips on the ice cream packages and when we got 15 or 20 of them we could get a free half gallon. We also had Charle’s Chips delivered right to our door also. That was the first brown delivery truck I remember – not the UPS trucks. The chips came in wonderful large tins of chips (and pretzels) that were delivered every so often. We’d turn in the empty cans and the company reused them. It’s kinda funny now how we are getting back to home delivery again (thanks to CoVid) and how we are more conscience of reusing and recycling.

Four friends I remember from elementary school are Mindy Phelps, Lora Guy, Sandy Suppes, and Debbie Stautenbower (sp?).

Our home was a little ‘cut off’ street between two busy ones. It didn’t get much traffic though. We would ride our bikes up and down the street – and yes, I do remember putting playing cards on the frame with clothes pipes to make the ‘crickets click’ sound. We had a drive with a bit of a hill that went down to the street and my brother and I used to skateboard down it. I was a bit older tho – maybe middle school age. We knew most of the neighbors on our little street. Yes, we actually did have the rule to get home before the streetlights turned on. Actually, when I was younger, we lived in another house a few streets away. I’m not sure if we rented it before buying. A pastor back then sometimes had a manse or a parsonage provided For him and his family, and perhaps the first house was that.

AnOther elementary school memory I have is playing “Japanese hopscotch” on the playground during recess. We could also go outside on to the blacktop after lunch. The hopscotch was done with a long elastic cord tied into a circle. Then two girls would stand back from each other with the cord around their ankles – and the jumper got into the middle and hopped up and down and made patterns with the elastic cord. Come to think of it, it was a mix of hopscotch and yo-yo-ing. There were certain steps and jumps we all did, and levels of challenge.

Quick memories of Elementary school: Daffadils growing on the grounds In the spring. We used little bunches of them for pictures – for first grade. I loved the school bulletin boards, changed every month. The American presidents pictures all in a row in the long hallways. The school was old with big windows and I remember afternoon thundershowers and being scared seeing the lightening, and hearing the thunder. I was scared of storms for a long time. Even at home I would take the afghan off the couch and ‘hide’ under it when we had a bad storm. In northern Ohio we got lots of snow – and we walked to school even on snowy days. Each classroom had a ‘cloakroom’ and we had hooks for our coats and nooks for boots, etc. Some days we wore snow pants under our dresses – and took off the snow pants in the cloakroom. I ‘won’ a trophy at the end of sixth grade, at the final assembly. Many awards had already been given out to students during the assembly – Mostly paper certificates. But I won a small (and I mean SMALL) trophy for the “Sportsman of the Year.” I remember being so surprised and being so proud. I was an average student, not the ‘pretty girl’ or not the athletic one, so I was amazed that I got an award. It was tiny in size but it really made me feel good. Funny, thinking back, yes – it said “Sportsman” not “Sportsperson”.

During those years, I was a Girl Scout for awhile, and I went to meetings in the public library just down the street from school. I was also involved with things at my church. I was a member of the Children’s Choir. When you are the pastor’s kid you do a lot of stuff around the building. I sometimes helped on Saturday mornings when the bulletins were getting finished and needed to be folded. My best friend at church, Karen Olson, and I spent lots of time hanging out together in an empty classroom – while our parents socialized. She and I would draw on the blackboards, and we loved to make floor plans of houses, and draw in the furniture. Think of it like Sims City – but with no technology. Ha

I am the youngest of three kids with a sister 5 years older, and a brother 3 years older. I remember playing with my brother more than my sister because we were closer in age. We played badminton in our backyard. We played “round the world” with the basketball hoop on our garage. Our garage sat back from the house – it was not attached. We also skateboarded in the unfinished part of our basement, going around and around the big furnace unit. It was cold and snowed a lot where we lived so we used the basement for playing. Half of our basement was finished and had a pool table, which I used as “Barbie Island” and I played countless hours with all my different Barbies… including Midge & Alan. And, Barbie’s younger sister Skipper. Mom ironed down in the basement, and back then, she ironed everything – including sheets. She watched TV down there while ironing – and while I played. I have a very vivid memory of being down there with my mother watching President Kennedy’s funeral. That was in 1963 – so I was 6 years old.

I shared a room with my sister until she got into high school. My parents added a bedroom in the attic for my brother, so at that point we each got our own rooms. Before then my sister and I each had our own bed in our shared room. She had Beatles posters above her bed. The Beatles had just come to America and were huge! She loved them!

After sixth grade, instead of sending me to a very big public school (Kirk Junior High) my parents had heard how rough it was getting – it was the Sixties and the school had students mixed – black, white, wealthy, middle class, and poor – and it was during the Civil Rights movement. My sister and brother went there and had a few frightening experiences. So, my parents sent me to a Lutheran school. I took a bus for the first time. The school wasn’t close by. I think a bus ride took a half hour. A few of my friends from elementary school also went there because their parents had the same idea as mine. Three big memories from there: Somehow I got selected to be a seventh grade cheerleader. Keep in mind it was a SMALL school. I think there was only one class per grade… but maybe not. The other thing I remember is being there after school for some reason and about 8 to 10 of us played ‘spin the bottle’! So, I suppose that was the first time I got a kiss. I don’t remember who it was – but I do know I liked Steve Brady all year there. My last memory is when I got caught talking to my girlfriend during class, and having to stay after school for detention. I missed the bus home. I think our detention was one day a week for a few weeks. So, my friend Lora Guy and I walked all the way home – which was a long way and along busy city roads. Keep in mind there were no cellphones and my parents had no idea I had been kept after – or was walking home. I don’t remember getting into trouble when I got home – maybe my parents were relieved when I walked in through the door. Perhaps being ‘the baby’ helped too. I know my sister clashed with my mother more than I did.

When does childhood end? Is it when Leaving middle school (called junior high back then)? Entering your teens? That seems to be a turning point. Childhood innocence leaves – and hormones kick in.

I moved to Bucyrus, Ohio after my seventh grade. Perhaps one day I will write about some of those memories.

I hope some of you can relate to things I did as a child… living in northern Ohio, in the 60’s. Life was different then, with no technology. (My dad had a dark room for developing pictures – and my brother had only a simple transistor radio.) We had 3 channels on the TV. Our house did not have central air conditioning. We visited relatives in Ohio for holidays. It was simpler in many ways.

As I said at the beginning, I may add more on… just to keep as a record for me. Maybe so my daughters and my grands know a little bit about my childhood back then.

And so I remember.

Hubby and I watched the First presidential debate 2 nights ago. If you watched then you know it was a childish display of bullying and it was a total embarrassment for all of us who believe we should have a president who has some respect and honor for another human being.

Our president was so mean and pompous, and he, by choice, did not follow the rules of the debate. He exasperated both the moderator Chris Wallace and his opponent former VP Biden.

Even if you did not watch the debate live, by now you must have seen snippets on the news of what happened. Keep in mind they were tiny slices from the debate – and the WHOLE 90 minutes went that way. It was a long display of total lack of caring for another person, and for the rules.

It was a 90 minute look into who Trump is – and who he has alway been. He doesn’t care about other people and he doesn’t think he has to follow rules.

As we watched the debate, we thought “was this for real?”

And, yes, unfortunately it was.

Sometimes I feel like a broken record talking about Trump, and what he has done to our country. I really wish he would give me a chance to write about something else. But, he’s just impossible to ignore. I guess that’s his point. And, sometimes I think he is this absolutely horrible person because deep inside he doesn’t want to be president, and he laughs at how people still like him. Michael Flynn in his book said that nobody On his team believed Trump would win. They knew the real him. They hung on to him for status and money. His comedy rallies were obnoxious, and he said the most outrageous stuff at them. Feeding his ego, his ‘fans’ cheered him on.

I really wish I could understand how anyone, ANYONE, could still support him and say they will vote for him now. But I see the posts, and I see the flags and signs, and I know there is a group who still do. I know a few of you are on Facebook with me. Now, I don’t know if you ever read my “Marla’s Musings” but if you do I ask you: Will he ever go low enough for you to change your mind? How low is low?

Is this whole thing for real?

Seriously… what is going on?

The people who still support Trump must not watch him, or listen to him. I have been berated in the past about writing about Trump supporters. “Go after him, but not his supporters… because you don’t understand them” Well, believe me – I have tried. And, please, I do not say this in a snotty way. I do not say it thinking I am ‘better’… because I am not. I TRY to figure it out. My brain does not get it. Trump has belittled so many people, and he cannot denounce white supremacy groups, and he calls people names, and he has paid off women, but yet stiffed employees and small business. He has paid very little in federal income tax. He has banks that will not do business with him. How can that not matter as much as other things? Yes… you care about the economy, and you care about stopping abortions, and you want stronger law and order. But, don’t you see he Prefers to help the rich, and he isn’t humane enough to care about the unborn, and he wants to bully people around and does not honor true justice in America?

So… Alice, Deb, Ryan, Helen… and more… you are lovely people. You are living in this same country. So, enlighten me. I have said this before. How can you still support this man?

How can you overlook human decency? Was the debate not a perfect example of who you support? If he acted like that on TV, imagine how he is behind closed doors. Think about all the people who have left his administration – and think about why. Was this past 4 years for real?

Next Musings post I’m gonna write about something else. I promise.

Happy Monday. I hope it is happy for you, even amid these crazy times. As I start my new week I am reminded of my bestie and my new motto: “We didn’t die. We are alive today!”

It’s sunny now, but rain is due a bit later here in the Lowcountry. We are almost to the end of September, 2020 – the year that will go down as a year of truly unbelievable events in all our lives. It’s a year where we went from no masks to always wearing masks in public. It’s a year of questioning every little cold or allergy reaction you have, worried it’s something much worse. It’s a year of missing out on annual events where people gather to have fun, to celebrate, and to worship. It’s a year of new education practices. The year of zoom. And taking temperatures as you enter indoors. And, it’s a year where over 200,000 Americans have died due to CoVid, with thousands of others afflicted by it. People who should be here.

Today as I start my new week I think about the latest news about the president. Yesterday The NY Times revealed that they have received Trump’s tax returns for the past ten years, and as I suspected (no, as I knew) he lied on them, and he used lawful and unlawful loopholes – and he paid very, very little to the US government.

As a citizen of this wonderful land I hope it will be a final nail in his coffin. (I say that figuratively. I don’t want him dead.) He lied about his taxes being under audit for 5 years. He lied to hide how he lies. Am I surprised? Oh, not at all. Will it matter in the long run? Probably not, because our country’s division is already deep and no amount of truth will seem to change it at this point. But – it should matter.

So, here’s my hope for this new week: It is one small step to getting back to some truth. We need truth. We must accept truth whether we like it or not. We can’t survive without searching for truth. Knowing truth.

The truth will set you free. Lies will put you in prison… or worse.

What else does this new week hold? I actually have a few items on my calendar this week. Yippee!! I’m looking forward to doing some planting at a community garden set up in a poorer area – to help make fresh vegetables available and affordable, and to teach farming skills. On Wednesday I will take part in the Bible Study Fellowship via zoom. I signed up for it’s new Fall session which is on Genesis. It comes with homework to do before the online class. I just realized….. I’m doing two ‘garden’ things back to back. Ha! Get it??

Soon my church handbell rehearsals will start back up – safe distanced, and with new guidelines to stay masked, and protected. I have so missed participation in making music!!

Tomorrow night is the first presidential debate. I’m pretty conflicted about it. I’m afraid To watch just as it will be like watching a traffic accident…. I don’t want to see it, but it’s impossible to turn away. As I do when I’m seeing an accident, I will say a prayer for those involved in it… the debate. My prayer: be kind. Be honest. Bring some decency to this campaign time. Rise above pettiness. Talk about issues. Tell the truth.

I ordered a Fitbit and I’m waiting for it to arrive – and then I will start in on my “Run/Walk for Ruth” for I have signed up to walk 87 miles before the election. Money raised will go to Planned Parenthood. It seemed like the perfect organization to choose in Ruth’s name. The organization offers women all kinds of medical care and counseling about reproduction.

Speaking of… last, but certainly not least, next week my daughter & her hubby go in for a thorough ultrasound to see their little baby girl in vitro. So exciting! This little one is already ‘showing’ quite a bit and her mama is feeling good during the second trimester. Keep growing baby girl Layman! We can’t wait to see you!!

Lately I have been wondering… how bad can it get? The deep division in our country is so deep are we already in a civil war? I heard a commentator on tv say that we are, and it got me thinking what that means.

When we hear ‘civil war’ we think of the big one in our country, the one that happened due to big policy differences, that got to the point of differences in the value of human Beings. North vs. south. Slavery vs. freedom. Independent state’s power vs. federal power. People picked up weapons and fought against each other – even against their own family members. Sound familiar? As of today we have not heard of family members shooting each other but we have heard over and over again about verbal fights. Families deeply divided. Lifetime friendships ending. Urban vs. rural. BLM vs. PLM. State power during this pandemic vs. federal plans and awareness.

Peaceful protests are happening every day and night now. Violence is already on the edge of everything. So much so that my hubby does not want me to put up a diversity sign I got, worried it will upset someone enough to vandalize our property. A diversity sign! Look around and you will see signs and flags of people taking sides, supporting a candidate like they would a sports team.

I am aware that my social media knows how I lean politically, so I see plenty of posts and some of them are not factual. They are there to separate and to instill anger. I realize that there are actually tech experts who spend their time designing them. They do NOT do it to bring us together… that’s for sure.

We have never been in a place like this before due to so much false information going out as fact. It’s hard to tell if anything is real anymore. But, it’s creating a new kind of war online first, then It goes out on to the streets.

Will we stay civil? Will cooler heads keep it from escalating to true war? Can we get through this election season and its outcome without it getting physical? Stubborn side vs. stubborn side.

I don’t have much hope about it as I write this.

So, how do we, how CAN we, turn this around? Do we keep everything the same? Do we think 4 more years of this will stop a war? No. We need to emphasize peace right now. We need to calm people down. We need to hear from the top that our ‘united’ states come before anything else. If, yes, we are already in a civil war then we need to figure a way to get out of it before it turns deadly.

Vote. Use your voice. But do not escalate what is happening. We are on a brink now and we need to step back. This is America. We, the people, can still decide. There is nothing civil about a war. Let’s not go there.

I’m not saying I will post every day leading up to the election, but there seems to be so many thoughts running through my head, you may hear from me often.

Today I am thinking about how we have an election coming up that is putting morals against policy. I have been reading from many different sources about how people are connected to a party for one of these two reasons.

Right now the Democrats are saying this election transcends any individual policy belief and that we are in a fight for keeping moral aspects alive in America. Respect, honesty, equality, integrity, truth – necessary attributes that keep a society civilized. These things are on the line. In fact, the system of our land, democracy, is on the line. Dems believe this president for 4 years has not lifted up moral values and he has used his lack of values to make himself look good. He has lied thousands of times, from small fibs about crowd size to major lies about pandemic facts. He has sHown over and over that he uses people. He discards people easily. He uses personal attacks. Democrats worry that 4 more years of this obvious lack of morals from the top will continue the destruction of our country’s foundation.

The Republicans suggest policy is why they will vote for Trump again. A big policy I hear from many that is important to them is abortion rights, or more exactly, the taking away of abortion rights. Many Republicans consider this THE reason to vote for Trump. They want to change Roe vs. Wade, and they want a woman’s right to make her decision about abortion taken away. Why? They believe God does not approve of abortion. As Christians they believe it’s a black & white issue. Other policy reasons include the right to bear arms. And economic and tax policies. The Republicans I have talked with, or debated within online, believe that policy choices are more important than moral values of our president.

I have wondered why the two can’t go together better. Morals and policy. I mean, shouldn’t they? A person of good moral character will use those beliefs in making policy decisions. A leader who has integrity, who believes in honesty and respect, will sign laws from that view. Isn’t that the best of the two?

Why should we as citizens have to choose from just one?

I don’t think we should. I think it is possible to have a president who is honorable, and who upholds the qualities we value AND can also be a person who approves policies that are fair for all. We have had some in the past.

As we get closer to the election (although some are voting already) we need to ask ourselves why it is we pick a president. Morals vs. policy. Can we have morals AND policy?

Yes, I know… the two political parties have Some very different policy beliefs. I’m not saying they don’t and that they are not important In your decision. Abortion vs. women’s rights. Gun freedom vs. sensible gun laws. Taxing the rich more vs. lowering taxes. Medical for all vs. reduced medical insurance. Equality in education, home buying, and more vs. less minority assistance. Protecting the environment vs. less laws for it. There is more.

But, seriously… I ask: Isn’t a leader with a strong moral fiber and with core respectful beliefs preferred to one without? Is there any doubt between Biden and Trump who is the more moral person? I think not.

The last 4 years have forced every citizen into taking a side. The last 4 years has made us all question where truth is. The last 4 years has spun us down into a lack of belief about anything. Because morals are not considered most important. Look what has happened!

Policy vs. morals. I will take morals.

My last post was all abut feeling confident about a big blue wave coming on November 3rd. The day I wrote that post I was seeing hope online, and hearing strong voices, and just feeling like ‘we got this’ and humanity will win on Election Day.

But today is another day.

Every day brings something in the news that disheartens me. Yesterday it was our president tossing out verbiage about throwing out all the ballots and him just staying on as president. Haha. Was he joking? No, he was not. Our president, instead of saying that democracy is the way of our land, and a sure and safe election is most important And he will do anything he can to preserve the vote, he puts doubt out there. He speaks like he will stay on as a dictator. No plan to follow the constitution mind you. No reason to think our election will be accurate. No assurance that every vote will be counted.

If that doesn’t turn your stomach then I don’t even know what to say.

I had an interesting back-and-forth private messaging conversation with a woman who lives in Michigan and who says she is ‘red in her being.’ We tried our best to keep the discussion civil and we pointed out the areas we are alike. Both women, both Christian. I asked her some pointed questions about Trump, and about his lies, and how he constantly belittles. Her response was she votes on ‘policy.’ And I get that, because to vote for HIM is absurd, and even she probably knows it. As we talked policy issues she stood strong on banning abortion, and the economy. She told me she is a ‘born again Christian’ and she believes Trump is a religious man. She told me several times that God has control of all of this. That she puts her faith in Him.

I get that a person can feel red inside. Because I feel blue inside. I have come to MY understanding watching politics for years now, and I have felt connected to the Democrats and their platform, their policy choices, all my life. I therefore wondered… if it was reversed: If a crazy Democrat became president – would I continue to support him because I so strongly believe in the party ‘policy’? What would it take to make me vote another party? How bad would it have to get?

So: Here’s where we are. As I stated above, it has gotten so bad that we have a president openly talking about denying the decision in a national election. We have a president who says he may not leave office January 2021. We have a president who does not care for the laws of our land. He dishonors the very forefathers who wrote them, who set up this system (not perfect by any means – but one man can not change it.) We have checks and balances that are being discarded. Democracy is truly being threatened.

After listening to our president now for 4 years I have learned he is a master of using language to keep us hanging, and to keep him from being responsible. “May or may not.” “Perhaps but we will have to see.” The only time he is firm on something is when it’s about him looking good. He made it happen.

So, I know his games. I know how we plays.

I wonder why I see it, and so many in the Republican Party do not. It’s so hard to figure out. I also wonder how we all can believe in the same God yet see policy choices so differently. But we do. And there is no changing minds – or hearts. And, we are more divided than ever.

And that’s why today is yes, another day – with another concern. Actually, there are many concerns for our country right now. Big concerns. Serious concerns. How can we have some chance of coming together even when policy issues differ so much? How can we remain respectful and live in peace? How can we maintain our democracy when the top is So reckless with it?

Yesterday, I commiserated On the phone with my bestie about all that is going on… and how crazy 2020 is. We talked politics, and then tried to move into other topics, but we came back to politics because it’s so much a part of our daily lives. Another day – another concern. We ended up trying to come up with a goal, or a motto, something to hold on to, and to keep us going. What did we decide on? Each day: We didn’t die. We woke up to a new day.

Another day. Another concern.

Good Monday morning. I’m feeling good this morning because I’m feeling the wave – the big blue wave.

I have finally gotten to a place on social media where just about all my friends and the groups I follow are supporters of the blue wave, and the need for change, and are working hard to make it happen. I’m guessing those who don’t agree with me have temporarily unfriended me or are staying quiet. So, thank you to them. You have given me more peace as I scroll and as I read what is popping up on my timeline.

I don’t want to deceive myself because I know there are a lot of Trump supporters out there and I know they will show up at the polls. I know they are not going to change their minds between then and now. If they haven’t changed in 4 years it just isn’t going to happen.

But, I’m optimistic. Today I’m feeling hopeful. I’m feeling that the craziness of 2020 has given lots of like-minded people who have had enough – really have had enough – reason to go vote.

The years of bad-mouthing, and demeaning through tweets are almost over. The years of being laughed at around the world will be gone. The years of pettiness, and egotistical rants – gone. The years of comparing crowd sizes, and ignoring basic health issues, and dis-respecting the office. Gone. Good bye. A moral country will win in the end.

Maybe the untimely death of Ruth Bader Ginsberg has made the blue wave even bigger and stronger. I hope it is true – and that this election will be a legacy for her. And for Rep. John Lewis. And for Black Lives Matter.

Don’t get me wrong…

I’m going to keep on working for a blue wave so big that nobody can rightly ignore it, or call it fake, or question the validity of the vote. I pray that election night is a statement – of all the good in America, of stopping the deterioration of the laws of the land. I never want to feel like I felt in the evening of the last national election. My heart and soul hurting so much – and questioning who we are. A huge hole opened in me that night.

So, come on blue wave! Let’s not take any vote for granted. Don’t assume your vote will not count. Don’t give in – or give up. Because… I feel the wave a coming!

I can’t want to see a monster wave wash over this land!

We can do it.

How bad can it get? I’m really not sure. I’m nervous. I’m disappointed. I’m even a bit scared.

Each day I see more and more division – and meanness.

In the past couple of days I have read: horrible comments on the live feed of the NAACP gathering that happened in Pawleys Island. They are asking for the resignation of the mayor over discriminating comments he made. I don’t blame them. An elected official called efforts by African Americans to be treated equally as part of a terrorist organization. That’s pretty threatening. And false. I have seen over 100 comments on a post I made responding to a question from WPDE on the BLM movement and none of them were very nice. And, this morning my hubby read to me many, many mean comments from people after learning the simple fact the Clemson football players have decided to have a sticker on their helmets promoting Black Lives Matter.

These are all local people. My community neighbors. They are people who live near me, shop with me, go to church with me.

I realize South Carolina sits in the middle of the south, and therefore segregation, discrimination, and racism are part of their history. It’s a state of plantations and confederate flags. It’s a place where some white folks still wish the civil war ended differently. I realize it make take a few more generations to finally move past the systematic racism here.

But….

Lately, the archaic beliefs, still held by so many, is out in the open. It seems everyone is taking sides. And, wow, it’s not pretty. It’s down right scary. People are getting so mean with their rhetoric that I fear it won’t take much for it to turn violent. Even here in Pawleys Island and Georgetown.

I walked with Black Lives Matter a few months ago. I still very much believe that until ALL lives matter, we must lift up that black lives matter. I have not moved away from the core positive belief in the organization. I feel we are in the middle of a new civil rights movement.

Unfortunately, the message has been misconstrued. People have turned it around and made BLM into a group of thugs. It is not. Let me repeat, it is not. Do not listen to false information. There may be a few trouble-makers who want to call themselves part of BLM to stir it up… and they are. But, the majority of those who are part of BLM (me included) are peaceful and want to promote equality for black Americans.

It’s interesting because the sports world is finally getting it. I hope they don’t back down. I see so many people pushing back on them, saying they will not support certain teams anymore. All I can say to that is the need to strive for equality is more important than a sports fan leaving. Stay strong athletes. Continue the message.

My hubby read me a comment that appeared on the Clemson site this morning by a young woman. I don’t remember her name. But it’s a great analogy. If someone said that the rain forest was in trouble and we needed to support it, give it extra love and money… we would understand and many would be there to help. It’s not that the other forests in the world are not important. It’s not that we look down or look at other forests as less. All forests are important – and beautiful – and provide balance in nature.

The same can be said about Black Lives Matter. Of course all races are important and all colors are beautiful. Our world would be lacking without everyone in it. But, right now, we need to look at the black lives, and we need to give them support. We need to make them an equal inhabitant on planet earth, and do what we can to lift them up.

Because… black lives matter.