A hero movie star?

It’s all the talk today. Will Smith got out of his seat at the Academy Awards live show last night, dressed in a tux, he walked up on stage and slapped Chris Rock very hard across the face for a ‘joke” Chris told about Will’s wife Jada’s buzzcut. Jada is dealing with a disease that causes loss of hair. The joke was tasteless. But, many people laughed – including Will at first.

So, if you are at an office this morning and ‘around the water cooler’ you are probably weighing in about it. If you are online this morning you are seeing memes about it already. If you are watching TV this morning you are hearing the talking heads do what they do: talk, talk, talk about it. And, I can guarantee you have seen the video over and over again.

People are taking sides about it. Some are with Will. Some are disappointed in his actions. Some are just laughing.

Well, I also saw online this morning a post from a woman who I know, who lived in an abusive marriage for too long. Thankfully she is out of the marriage now, but she said watching Will slap Chris, and later saying during his award acceptance speech that “sometimes love makes you do crazy things” made her sick. She was on the receiving end of that kind of behavior. She posted that most abusers say that exact line – it happened because of love. They twist words to put it back on the other person, and they will not accept any blame. So, last night’s live slap and the blocked words after it (we knew what Will was saying) effected some greatly – a form of PTSD.

Little boys are taught from a young age to be tough, to stand up for themselves, and even have a playground scuffle if you need to do it. Never walk away. Be a man!

Last night we saw a huge movie star, worth tons of money and living a comfy life, act like a school boy. Was he defending his wife’s honor in that moment? Did she NEED it defended?

Perhaps Will had a drink or two. Perhaps he and Jada had already a bad vibe going with Chris Rock. Maybe there was a history already between them. I have heard various ‘excuses’. I even heard this morning that Will grew up watching his father beat up on his mother and regrets not stepping in… he regrets not being a man in a boy’s body.

I posed a question on Facebook to my friends who are raising sons. What would you think if your son behaved like Will did last night? Is that what you teach them? Would you be proud? “That’s my boy!”

I’m a mother to daughters so I admit I never had to raise boys. It’s a lot easier to tell girls to turn the cheek when other girls are being catty. When a girl is picked on she cries, but does not strike back. And I think of the woman I mentioned above who stayed in a bad marriage longer than she should have stayed.

We seem like a society ready to jump, to stomp on someone, to put them in their place. It’s hard to turn the other cheek because it seems weak, and cowardly. We saw that last night. Will Smith got out of his seat and strode up to Chris Rock and smacked him with his open hand. You know who handled it well? Chris Rock. He did not hit back. He did not return the same verbal abuse either. He kept himself together – although I’m sure he was stunned.. Thankfully more was not exchanged.. Because too often violence escalates.

I hope people don’t just laugh about what happened last night. It was inexcusable. It was not a drunk barroom fight. It was a successful man acting in a way no young boy should look up to and want to be like. Will Smith was not a role model last night.